Why do i feel so alone. Alone in my opinion and views and alone in my problems. 3 years i have felt this way, been on all kinds of medications yet nothing helps i am just broken inside. i have such little faith in this poisoned deceitful world we live. everyday i lie to people tell them i’m OK, tell my psychologist and psychiatrist the many many many of them that i don’t think about death, when everyday its all i do. death cannot be any worse than this bubbling cauldron of pus. I have been hurt to great extremes by s many people – the people i thought i could trust and in return i have only had my reputation, self esteem and self pride destroyed. nobody believes in me anymore, they tell me im not going anywhere with my life. even though i have achieved more than most of them – i am a qualified pilot and what are they? school students. For a 16 year old i have the opinions and views of someone much older. my opinions are so strong that it destroys my brain. I have been through it all. cutting, suicidal tendencies, drug and alcohol abuse, trying to drown myself anything and everything to attempt to feel something other than the nothingness. i came out of all that bad stuff, sober and no longer cutting. suicidal however yes, but not to the extent i used to be. through all of that though i am still empty, unfulfilled, dissatisfied in myself. still on all kinds of medication which contributes to this feeling of emptiness. i guess i just feel like i don’t fit in. these people seem so boring and insignificant.
Don’t know what i’m supposed to to…
Keep breathing they say…
Keep living they say…
I died along time ago
5 comments
This kind of death isn’t necessarily forever.
Why do you tell your psychiatrist and psychologist that you don’t think about death? I’ve done the same thing before but I don’t know if your reasons are the same. They should know how serious your condition is. Thoughts of death show how severely it’s affecting you.
The people who criticise you are probably either jealous, dislike something about you or simply are using you as a scapegoat to pick on. They shouldn’t influence what you think of yourself. They probably make you feel more alone, but whatever your views and problems are, you’re not alone in them. At 16 people can be at very different places in their life. There will be others your age who think the same way, though you haven’t been fortunate enough to meet any yet. Being depressed can make you feel more different and isolated, and it can also make you feel less interested or more hostile towards others. That’s probably adding a great deal to those feelings.
How does the strength of your opinions destroy your brain?
The psychiatrist/s and others that you’re seeing should know that the medications aren’t helping and you need another form of treatment. I mention this to people all the time but it’s always worth saying that there are so many treatments out there. A lot of people try everything their doctors offer and completely give up, only to find something that completely cures them. You shouldn’t just keep breathing – you should be searching for ways to feel alive again. Since you’re already seeing people about your health, they’re one place to start.
It is too complicated. it is so much easier for them to feel satisfyed in themselves that they had done a good job with me. I am lost for ways to feel alive again, each day however i put one foot in front of the other and just keep going. Nothing has helped me, ive tried every kind of therapy known and so far medications have helped the most they just numb my soul. I guess life just sucks
YOU NEED TO KNOW, AND FROM WHAT I READ YOU ALREADY DO YOU ARE SMART AND MY ADVICE IS AT 16 PUSH ON MAN BREATH DEEP AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT YOU WILL STOP THINKING ABOUT HAVING TO BREATH DEEP YOU HAVE MANY GOOD MOMENTS TO LIVE YET I AM 64 AND ALL MY GOOD LIFE HAS BEEN 25 UP TO 50>>PUSH ON MAN PUSH ON THERE ARE MANY LIPS TO KISS AND BONERS WILL HAPPEN
Thanks, but just so you know im a female – yes unusual considering im a pilot. it is so much said than done – pushing on that is. i do push on i really do but sometimes i guess i just ask myself what am i even pushing on for? where is the light? i feel like i am surrounded by insignificant people who dont care about the world, me or anything else for that matter
Very deep stuff i just read. Painful..despite seeing many professionals.please if you do decide to give it another try…be
Please be completely honest about your suicidal thoughts calles ideation.suicidal ideation is scary and hard to talk about cause you might think they will automatically call the ambulance.no. it gives the therapist a chance to explore and you too to let everything out of your head. Maybe it will lead to peeeling of more layers as tto give the therapist some more things to work on to help