I know what I’m about to say is nothing new or profound, but the hell with it. We are all made of atoms that have been around for billions of years. Every year over 98 percent of the atoms in our bodies are replaced. Think, all of us have atoms in our body from almost every human being that has ever existed. When we die this enclosed system of exchanged atoms that comprises our perceptions of ourselves ceases to exist, but the atoms themselves will still exist.
It really makes me wonder, does it really matter that I kill myself? I obviously don’t believe in the popular views of the afterlife. The negative effects of my suicide will have a devastating effect on those that know me, but in comparison to the universe it really is nothing. It will only be very temporary. Who cares that one person kills himself? I won’t really cease to exist as my atoms won’t just disappear, but the manifestation of myself in the current human senses will cease to exist. So what?
I honestly don’t know why I bother sticking around. No matter how hard I try it is hard to motivate myself to do anything. Almost everything in our present time is speculative. Religion no longer has a supreme reign on reason, but science hasn’t progressed enough to the point where religion once offered a sense of absolving of responsibility. People back then feared God and saw him as the reason to keep going. As it stands now we must accept that the universe is chaotic, though I doubt this is the case. This is just how our senses currently perceive it.
Well feel free to criticize the hell out of that. My thoughts need to be better organized, yet I am too lazy to bother.
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Yes, your atoms will continue to exist after you kill yourself, but the unique structure by which they were organized will be gone. Imagine deleting a file on your computer. That doesn’t physically burn a hole in your hard drive. The memory sectors remain to be used again. But the file you deleted will be lost forever. So the question is how important is the file you’re deleting, because you’ll never get it back.
That is something I have foolishly overlooked: the molecules. Our molecular structures are indeed unique even if they are composed of atoms that have been around for billions of years. I really do like that you’ve compared this to a memory file. This is going to have me pondering for a while.
@psycho: Today was the first day I woke up in months not in an existential crises. I like what you wrote here, it fits in nicely with my mood this morning. I view it as essentially you stating that since we are all made of atom, which have been here since the beginning of time, we are each in our own way immortal. Regardless of religion and science. We continue no matter how we end this world.
I’m having a half full kind of morning, it must be the bacon and the hangover.
I wrote it in quite a negative tone, but I am really glad you took it positively. Not all of the atoms have existed since the beginning of time. If I remember correctly only hydrogen has existed since the Big Bang. The others were created later in supernovas (star explosions). Most of what you see on Earth is made of stardust. And I like that you seem to have a similar view on the atoms. We don’t disappear; we get recycled.
There is a limitless ocean of potential suffering in the universe. The pain of any one person, however great, is only a drop. Only you can say whether you care about the devastation your death will bring. Whether you want to add a few more drops to the ocean.
I still find myself caring, despite knowing how tiny we each are in the grand scheme of things. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be here.
Reminds me of what I once read about reincarnation in Hinduism and Buddhism. Maybe it was actually about Nirvana. It really is unfortunate that others must pick up the baggage of my suffering. The thing is everyone is ultimately in this life for themselves. I would wish they respect my decision of suicide, but it is supposedly the most difficult death to handle.
Umm, well, not to be gross or anything, but having personally having to attend to the details of my husband’s death, those atoms do cease to exist. His wish was for cremation, and for his ashes to be spread in his favorite hiking place. Which I did. Actually, I didn’t have the heart to just spread them, so I deposited them in a sandstone cliff niche. The cool thing was, there was a tiny antler in the niche. He used to love to hunt. Reasoned that the wind would eventually spread his ashes.
There is no one who would miss me if I were to die, except my cat. What I do worry about is that I believe there is an afterlife, and my soul wouldn’t go straight to spirit, but hang around, earthbound. (I don’t believe in hell at all.) But at least I wouldn’t have my sucky life to deal with anymore. “Souls ain’t born, souls don’t die.” (Lucinda Williams, I think?)
All of the atoms that made up your husband do still exist. I am not talking spiritually either. As he was cremated most of his atoms are now in the atmosphere. The atoms are just no longer present in a familiar form that made your husband.
I doubt only your cat would miss you. Each suicide supposedly intimately affects at least six other people. There are many people who hide their true feelings all throughout their lives. I won’t comment on the afterlife.