Why?
Why the fuck is it so hard for me to tell them I’m suffering?
One moment Im crying alone in my room, then the next, I’m smiling like my usual fake self when someone comes in. I have become so good at faking that I can’t show what I really feel. I want to take off this mask. It’s really heavy now, but it’s stuck. It won’t come off.
Why can’t I take it off?
Please… I’m suffering…
I know they are not mind readers. I need to speak up. But how can one talk to a person about what is going on when the only thing they’ll tell you is pray?
Are you serious? Pray? Pray to who? The ***** who never listens, let alone answer? The one I don’t even believe exists? I need you to listen to me. Don’t send me off to a person who doesn’t give a shit. Not to a person who is just sitting somewhere, watching and enjoying.
I need you to notice I’m suffering. I need you to help me. I won’t be here for long if I keep this up. I need someone to talk to.
I need you…
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1 comment
Hear ya. If I could replay the past ten years I’d be more aware of my facade. I’d focus on being open and honest from the beginning. Not sure it’d change anything but I think speaking up is so important. Give yourself a break though. It’s hard to open when you’re dealin with the weight of the world.