it hurts me that my family didn’t work out the way I wanted- I wanted to have a happy family and I wanted my kids to have everything. I always thought I’d be a great mom and ever since my first pregnancy life has been absolute hell. I have three kids now and their father passed away a little more than a year ago. I was ok at first but honestly the longer I go without him the more I want to die. I have no home or car. I stay with my kids all day to take care of them because that’s what I have to do but honestly I have been wondering if my kids would be better off if I just ended my life.
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Do you have any kind of support system? Family, friends, a cousellour? Would it be possible to work even part time or volunteer? The change might help a little.
Struggling to be a stay at home mother is hard enough, but without any support seems pretty daunting. Like WoMS said, do you have any support? If not perhaps you could begin seeking out support of some sort, maybe in a local church? I was a SAHM for 4 years and even with support it is pretty damn isolating.
Firstly sorry for the loss of your husband, secondly I agree with the posters above. Try to get support from family/friends, anywhere you can. Imagine how you felt at the loss of your spouse, now imagine how your children would feel losing you both.
If they’re very young and they end up in a really good home, then that’s fine-they might forget about you and it won’t affect them. If they’re a little older, then they’d feel abandoned. If your kids are decent like me, they’ll grow up to be your friend and support especially when you’re older and can’t take care of yourself.
Additionally it’d be best to try to get over the loss and find a new husband and that’ll make it much easier to have someone raise the kids with you (buy a house/car, etc). It’s impossible to get anywhere with one income nowadays, you’ll be stuck in poverty. You might have to find a guy who has kids of his own.
You’re not really alone, when you take your kids to daycare and other places, you’ll meet other mom’s who might build a relationship with you. So it’s good to keep an open-mind and be open to new possibilities-sorry if that line sounded like a fortune cookie. 😉
I am killing myself and I have 4 kids. I don’t care anymore. My husband also died. My kids don’t give a fuck daddy died and they won’t give a fuck if I die. My parents took everything over. So they’d be sad for a day and never think of me again…so fuck them…I am sorry I am a sad sack of shit and they love my parents more than me when I gave my entire life for them. Not anymore. I am about me now. They won’t even miss me.
I am really sorry about you sad moms… Know that your children do love you but they may be too little to want to let you know or too immature.