Despite working out and eating better im fatter. I got off of work early but im tired and sore. I cant turn on the tv without seeing shit about sex and relationships. I get it im too ugly to find anyone in real life i know. I fucking feel guilted by life to contacting my ex(met online) because i do worry about her and i know I’ll never get someone better. As proof of that someone else who ive met(also online) in the many months since we stopped talking and who i care about but who fucking abandoned and rejected me is in trouble. Idk what to do. Im angry as fuck honestly. Whether its the Selina Kyles or Talia Al Gouls Bruce is always dealing with bullshit while the Jokers get the Harleys with no effort. Im going to sleep wake up and work out. Its better than slicing up my thighs. I still have scars and im fucking too old for this shit but god i want to. Yiem31 i understand how you feel. Oh in case either or both of the beautiful ladies im talking about read this sorry i still love both of you. (If so one of you surely said both?!?! Lol)
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I’m glad you’re trading off self harm for working out. That’s a giant step. And hey there are people out there who will love you for who you are as a person regardless of appearance. I wish you luck in finding them.
I’m a little late coming in on this thread. I leave commercial TV off just for that very reason. As for exercise, I set a goal to go to they gym one half hour a week. I meet my goal each week and feel smug on days I exceed the prescribed half hour. I can almost make through the first drop bass in Muses “The Second Law – unsustainable” at a regular jog downhill on the treadmill. just over 1.5 minutes of running. It keeps me from doing stupid harmful things to myself and saved in antibiotic cream and band aids. I think you are doing really well. Really I do.
Thanks im going to have tough time not attempting i just left work early because of depression and im really sick of living im trying my damndest but im tired i want to die so bad. Ive been so suicidal for so long and only have self created disappointment to look forward to.