Life was starting to be fine for me after a while. Then I meet you and feel in love. Life was really looking up.
Then we started having problems. Found out you were a paid escort. Slept with thousands of guys. Found out you had been in the mental ward. Had autism along with some other fine side effects such as depression, bi polar and other things.
I tried to work past all of that even knowing you had been married 5 times before. Sorry to say I did not leave and stay gone when I should have.
No I stayed and absorbed all of your issues. You took everything I had. Family. Friends. My money. My house. Everything.
Now I am broken and cannot bear to keep breathing. You ruined me. I think I lived a pretty full life and have no regrets about leaving it now. Only thing is I just have to figure out the way to go easily.
Either it will be
Private hotel room with sleeping pills a razor and alcohol in a hot bath tub
Or
Co poisoning
Have not figured out which yet as I have a couple things to finish before I go.
Good bye penny Anderson. I love you and hope you have that perfect fantasy life you want. Just remember this is your fault. You and the sickness that is you.
9 comments
Even if i’m much younger than you i see .. i can relate somehow to this , i had too a partener , no , not just one , actually 2 , that destroyed me and my life , i hadn’t been into a relationship since then , but somehow i managed to survive … i don’t know what to say .. just to try and survive and see what next day will bring , you don’t really need people around you to be happy you know ? at least this is what i think … try and do something you like , try and have a fresh start … i would wish you don’t give up on life .. it’s sad when people die …
No it’s not sad. It’s giving to someone else and getting rid of the pain. It’s been a week since any of my friends or family head even tried talking to me because of the things she has said. No one knows if they are true or not but I have been abandoned and it’s ok as it makes passing so much easier.
I’m sorry life has become so painful for you. I’m guessing things were pretty bad before they started looking up?
Yes they were. Almost died before. Wish I had then I wouldn’t have this extra pain I have now
I know how that feels. Not at the same level, but… heh, i guess there’s lots of us that have been left and “ruined” by some woman. I’d be an hypocrite if i said things are going to get better or to stop you from doing anything, but i just needed to at least say that i thank you for sharing your story, and i do hope that whatever you end up doing you find peace and relief from the hell you’ve had to endure.
Soon it will be over. I have started my letters…… Still have a couple more to write.
I have completed my will and a power of attorney paperwork……..
I think I have it all settled on how it’s going to happen.
In a very short time I will get a rental place that it’s secluded. A good day off alcohol and then when I am feeling the effects I will take something that will put me out…. Then it’s all about jumping in a huge hot tub or garden tub…..
Labrat007,
Sorry you got took to the cleaners, i have myself quite a few times 🙂 i’m smiling because i allowed it to happen, i rejected my gut instinct, i sat back time after time seeing and knowing i was getting fucked, but i allowed it to go on giving the benefit of the doubt over and over and then guess what i got fucked, OK my point, this was my fault sure someone else fucked me but i allowed it to happen, i didn’t get fucked in ten minutes it took a long time, but who’s to blame? the person that i allowed to fuck me or myself? OK now whether you kill yourself is your business, but i would never kill myself because of someone else that fucked me, i would learn or at least try to learn from my mistakes and carry on. Suicide to me isn’t really a bad thing i think about it myself, death will come one way or another no matter what, but when i make that choice it won’t be because of what somebody else did to me, it will be because that’s what i want to do, and my last thoughts will not be bitter. i have a thing about that 🙂 i don’t believe in going out bitter. then that means the world took me out! and and nobody takes me out! funny i may write a post about some of your issues here, you will understand what i’m talking about if i do. Good luck!
I’m sorry. So. Very. Sorry. I hear your brokenness and pain through your words. I hope you find a reason to stay.
Again this is not just because of one person. Lots of other reasons. Penny just happened to be the final straw. I look forward to the time this will all be all over