Is there ever really a perfect time to do it? I think we all wait till things get so bad that we completely run out of resources and patience – and then we do it. I always thought that’s how things are. That’s what I learned suicide is – running out of the resources to cope.
But what if I am at that point? All I think about is suicide. All I want is death. I have nothing to live for. I have recently run out of every reason to live. The one person that gave me hope for a future, gave me reason to believe I will have children with him, a real, good family – left me for his ex. They were only together for 3 months, while we were for 2 years. He told me today he never loved me, that I’m a disgusting human being. I had no dreams but to have a family with him. It’s not a case of need – I didn’t really need him. I just have no purpose in life now. I’m just drifting. I’m completely numb, only my heart hurts. If I jumped at a train in busy London – I would only be viewed as a hassle. I don’t think there is a perfect time. I just think a suitable time is coming for a decided action. I just… don’t know what to tell the people I love.
1 comment
Sometimes, while on SP, I’ll read the posts, but i ONLY reply to the ones that I can relate to. This is so I can offer advice or opinions, thoughts or beliefs, or help.
Sometimes I fall on posts like these.
Where I wish I could relate, but you’re older than I am, because I am pretty young.
Not only is it the story that catches my eyes,
But its the number of replies.
Seeing that no one took their time to reply to you makes me really upset.
I wanted to write back, saying I read your post, and I care.
I hope you find a purpose, I really do.
I’m telling you, you seem like you have a lot to live for.
I think its the breakups that mostly lead people to do this.
If he wasn’t meant for you, then theres someone else.
Look, I’m writing for one reason: there are many people that have their reasons to take their lives. But there are some people, that as I read, I think, they don’t deserve this.
You don’t deserve this.
You’ll get through this.
I really, truly hope that helps.