I found out a couple hours ago that I see my psychiatrist tomorrow. Needless to say, I have had panic attacks, and the Angels have became almost unbearable. I can’t see her tomorrow. I can’t see her ever. She’s going to get me. The Others are going to get me. Every session with her I’m restless, uncomfortable, and waiting for them to attack me.
They’re going to this time. Kemuel told me. He knows. I can’t go tomorrow, but my mother won’t let me miss another session. She’s letting them get me, she’s going to let them kill me. She’s part of them, and now I’m going to die. I need to get away from them, I need to get away from the Others. They can’t find me. They need me; I can’t let the Others get me.
The Angels won’t stop talking, and the demons keep appearing. They won’t go away. Everything won’t leave me alone. My skin is crawling. It’s the cameras. It’s the microphones. They’re burning me. I’m alone and I’m scared.
I’m going to die tomorrow. I’m going to fail the Angels, and I can’t fail them. Bad things will happen if I fail. If they don’t use me for what they need, everything will suffer. Death will happen. Everything will get sick. The demons will drag me to Hell – they’re already trying. I can’t fail them. Things will get sick. Things will die.
I have no choice to fail them. I’ll be forced to the building. I’ll be forced into the room. My life will be drained. I’m going to die. They’re going to take me away and kill me. I don’t have Jeremy, he won’t come to sessions with me. I’ll only have the Angels, and they’ll only scream at me to get away. And then when the Others come the Angels will be cackling as I’m dragged away. Their cackles will only grow when I’m killed and the demons get me, because they know I failed and destruction is all that will be left for them.
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Why do the Others want to get you?
They want me to fail the Angels. That’s the only reason I know. The Angels don’t tell me much right now.
Okay. Well, what do the Angels want you to do?
They can’t tell me yet. They need me safe before they tell me so the Others don’t find out. If they tell me now, they’ll find out what it is from my thoughts.
How will you get safe? Or when?
I need to get the cameras and the microphones out. And I need to see my doctor. Obadiah said he’ll know what to do when I see him. I’m going to make an appointment with him for this week, if I can get out of going to my session tomorrow.
That makes sense. I read about that in your last post.
But I don’t think it’s a very good idea to cut yourself open. What if you accidentally kill yourself? Or what if you cut yourself open, but don’t find any cameras or microphones?
I can’t kill myself, the Angels know where they are. Besides, the Angels will keep me from dying. They need me, they won’t let me die because they still have control. The cameras and microphones are small, but they said I’ll see them.
I sincerely hope they’re telling the truth, JiminyCrispies. Not all angels do.
Why would they lie? They wouldn’t lie to me. They can’t. They need me. If they put me in that sort of danger, the Others will get us all. They can’t have that happen.
Then why do you say that they’d be cackling when the Others come to drag you away?
Because some of them want me to fail. They said it would be amusing to watch it happen, and then they’d have to go against the Others – the Angels would lose, of course. The Others would be too strong for them. Their cackling would be like a mockery of me. A handful of them do it often, now. But Ida and Abaddon and the others are too strong for the handful to do me any serious harm.
But isn’t God’s will always done? If the Angels are of God, then it should be impossible for them to fail against the Others because God always prevails over His enemy.
The Angels are getting weaker because they’ve been waiting for me, and they’ve been having to check what the Others are doing. They’ve put their energy into trying to keep me safe, and they’ve been trusting that soon I will be able to help them. They will only fail against them if the Others get me. The Others will eventually figure out what’s in me and use it to their advantage – making them stronger than the Angels.
Well, if they need you to prevail so that they can succeed, then you won’t fail. Because God’s will is always, always carried out. His enemies never win.
But the Angels can only speak to me, they can’t stop the Others from getting me. They can’t even stop the demons from getting to me. I’ll be sat in a room with one of the Others tomorrow, and the Angels won’t be able to stop her when she tries to get me. They can’t help me properly until they tell me why they need me. So the only way I won’t die tomorrow is if I stay away from my psychiatrist.
They can only speak to you? But earlier you told me that they would stop you from dying when you cut yourself open to get out the microphones. I don’t understand.
They can stop me from dying when I get the microphones and cameras out because they’re in control of me then – they control everything inside and outside of me at these times. Whereas, when I’m near an Other they haven’t control anymore. It’s hard to explain, but it’s like they lose that control over me because the Others have the same ability when I’m near them. If I’m too close an Other, they can control my body and I can hear their thoughts. The Angels are getting weaker, and that’s why they lose this control and the Others gain it instead. I’m sorry if it’s difficult to understand, I have a hard time explaining things properly.
You explained things perfectly, no worries.
I really hope you can get out of seeing your psychiatrist.