All By Myself.

Today I feel lonely and depressed. I woke up and I don’t even know why I’m still here. I overthink about what happened and I can’t help but cry. I still miss that stupid asshole and my baby so much. I’m crying while typing this post. I feel that it’s all my fault. That thought haunts me. Plus, I don’t have friends IRL and therefore no one to talk to. My family doesn’t help me. If anything, they make me feel worse about myself. My mom won’t let me go out or do anything to alleviate the pain I’m feeling or at least distract myself a little. I feel so alone. I was thinking on getting a puppy because somehow I feel it will help to feel better and get through this so I won’t have to turn to committing suicide again, but my mom said I can’t have it. And then she said mean comments about me having a puppy. My sister makes me feel so shitty about myself, I feel less than a dog in my house, not even because maybe they would take care and love the dog.  I honestly don’t know what to do, but as time passes I feel I’m gaining the strength I need to end everything once and for all. I want to go into an endless sleep.