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Looking for easy way out

by mike123

can’t handle this bipolar struggle and loneliness. Been looking for the easiest, most effective, quick, and most painless way out. Found pathologies in autopsy reports w/bag w/helium. Bag w/******** more promising but access is tougher. Any other suggesstions? I cant handle the pain.


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October_rain 3/24/2016 - 8:23 pm

Hang in there, bro. You still have at least one person who believes in you. I know that does not sound very practical, but keep on fighting, keep on seeking and searching, keep on striving and growing/developing. I have faith that you will make something of your life.

sportsnut 3/24/2016 - 8:26 pm

we can talk methods here.. but we can love you . .

sportsnut 3/24/2016 - 8:34 pm

oops cant

mike123 3/24/2016 - 8:33 pm

Sorry, just read the three rules. No methods, check. Still feel stuck here

sportsnut 3/24/2016 - 8:35 pm

it’s ok buddy.. I feel same.. wanna talk

mike123 3/24/2016 - 8:43 pm

I just want out. I’ve been talking for too long. I need help getting out clean.

sportsnut 3/24/2016 - 8:54 pm

well it can be done.. my gf did it last week

mike123 3/24/2016 - 8:54 pm

Sorry sportsnut

sportsnut 3/24/2016 - 9:06 pm

it’s ok..she’s happy now

mike123 3/24/2016 - 9:18 pm

thats what i want. Leaving means no more pain/struggle. No more loneliness. Those are my struggles, like bugs crawling under my skin. This bipolar, psychological pain. No more can be found in ending. Loves bliss becomes unfound, unkown, the lonely wander in the desert ends. To undo stops this itch, this bleeding that never ends that i do in the dark always alone and forever will be.

sportsnut 3/24/2016 - 9:19 pm

r u New here

mike123 3/24/2016 - 9:20 pm


sportsnut 3/24/2016 - 9:25 pm

lot of great people here and we love each other..and if there are amazing people here they are out there too

mike123 3/24/2016 - 9:34 pm

if there are i don’t know how to recognize them or connect anymore. I don’t see myself not being alone, connecting intimately again. I cant live without that, i don’t see how anyone could if they also struggled with the psychological pain of untreatable bipolar. That and loneliness is not meant to last

sportsnut 3/24/2016 - 9:40 pm

I exact same thing I understand ..

sportsnut 3/24/2016 - 9:40 pm

what area of world are u in

mike123 3/24/2016 - 9:45 pm

English speaking

sportsnut 3/24/2016 - 9:47 pm

I’m south usa

mike123 3/24/2016 - 9:49 pm

Nice to meet you

sportsnut 3/24/2016 - 9:54 pm

me too…

Hazy Day Sunflower 3/24/2016 - 11:40 pm

We can’t talk m@thods here…

But I am bipolar. I totally understand your pain.

mike123 3/25/2016 - 12:16 am

I just got in bed and felt my body. After how long its been in pain, detached, alone, and struggling it feels like a cold corpse. I don’t feel theres anything left to take from this world but the struggle and be left to recycle in the earth. No more connecting, gone cold.

Hazy Day Sunflower 3/25/2016 - 12:19 am

So are you coming down from a high? Sometimes if I crash too hard and don’t put enough things in place to cushion the fall I become totally numb and feel a lot like what you are describing.

sportsnut 3/25/2016 - 12:26 am

how long

mike123 3/25/2016 - 12:23 am

Been in a depression far too long. Had mixed moods along the way that make the suffering worse but the depression hasnt left in a long time. Tried all forms of treatment. Been alone too long and detachment and agoraphobia are eating me up. Ready to move on.

sportsnut 3/25/2016 - 12:28 am

mike e-mail me bigticketman33 @ gmail .com

mike123 3/25/2016 - 12:28 am

4-5 years since I’ve been detaching, alone, and agoraphobic. Depression has been longer.

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