Honestly, I don’t drink much at all, and I haven’t had anything in years because it’s not really my favorite thing, but lately I feel like I want to have just one night of drunken misery/celebration/reveling.
Just one.
I’m in the middle of coming to terms with certain issues, certain people, and certain unsavory truths, so dammit, I would like to drink myself stupid for one night.
When I do this, I will post on SP throughout the evening so you can all see me at my weirdest. (Because what are friends for, right?)
In the interests of good manners, I will try to keep most of it contained on one post instead of splattering my boozy breath everywhere on the screen.
(You’re welcome.)
But who knows what will actually end up happening.
When I drink in a good mood, then I’m usually the happy giggly one. Stupidly fun and willing to laugh at almost anything.
When I’m in a bad mood, that’s when I’m either (1) sullen and dark and angry or (2) Saying WAAAY too many things I should probably have kept my mouth shut about.
I’ll let you know when I’ve started.
There’s a possibility it might be tomorrow evening, if I can get the laptop to connect like it should.
So feel free to peek in and see me make a complete ass of myself.
If it’s too god-awful-embarrassing, maybe I’ll delete it the next day.
Or not.
I promise nothing!
Bwa ha haaa.
UPDATE: As you can see from the comment section, I felt compelled to prove my nerdiness by reciting Pi out to 197 digits… singing them. (The next three digits are 555, so just count me as knowing 200 digits. That would be great.)
Please forgive my singing voice, it was almost three in the morning when I recorded it. Also pardon the fact that I consistently say “Oh” instead of “Zero”.
.
73 comments
we have been warned.
LOL. Exactly! 🙂
Sounds great! Id like to see some posts from ya in a drunken state.
Yeah I don’t advocate getting drunk all the time. But once in a while it can actually be a good thing to do. I get a little more expressive when I am drinking and almost always I am kind towards others…. but maybe hard on myself. So I am more willing to open up and tell people how much they mean to me and stuff like that > but when I talk about myself when I am drinking I usually will poke fun at myself and cut myself down. Maybe even share an embarrassing story about myself to make others get a laugh. lol I got drunk just a couple days ago and it was a good time. LOL
It’s rare for me to drink.
Every couple years I decide to try something new, and I have fun with it until the bottle is empty, and then it’s a few more years before I try something else.
Last time it was Limoncello, which was ok.
This time it will be mango-pineapple vodka.
The store also had grapefruit-jalapeno vodka (seriously), and I plan to try that one of these days too.
Then it’ll probably be a few more years before I try the next thing.
“alcohol is the drug of the defeated”
is an old saying, from the old country
with that said, I am completely shirtfaced right now yo
Sounds good.
Have one for me too.
OMG dopeless, that made my night. God bless you friend.
Yay. We’ll get to see your drunk posts!
I hope they’re entertaining and soul-searching and thought-provoking, instead of just some crap like “HHHHHhhEEEyyyyy, THe FLOOoooor is moooving! And I thinnk I jUSt PeeEED!!”
Haha, well, I imagine that either way it will be entertaining. 😉
you’re very welcome
it’s a good line to make a toast: TO ALCOHOL: THE DRUG OF THE DEFEATED
*clink clink*
lets everyone know immediately “whoa, this guy/gal has some problems”
Yay!
Here’s to being temporarily defeated.
Don’t use alcohol as a crutch…
I can’t, crutches HELP you walk, alcohol is more like a step I didn’t see. -Mitch Hedberg
I’d love to get trashed with you Cordless. Instead, I’ll be driving hazardous, and following along. I actually have a huge callus on my pinky finger. Just noticed today. From the way I hold my phone while I drive.
If I was to pop over and have an adult beverage of sorts, I’d preferably have Fireball and cream soda. Just leave it outside near the bush by the window.
Yay for following along.
I hope it’s tomorrow. It will depend on
(1) whether I can get an internet connection,
and
(2) whether SP lets me post things. (Sometimes there’s a weird glitch where the site doesn’t let me post anything or update any drafts. So far it’s only been temporary, but it’s still annoying.)
If I DO get to have it be tomorrow, I might start around 7:00 or so… I want it to be when the biggest percentage of the “evening group” is here. If I start at 7, I might be flying high by 7:45ish. I can make a complete utter fool of myself for about 3 hours, then back off and start drinking a giant ton of water to keep the hangover from happening the next morning.
That’s gotta be the epitome of nerdom.
An itinerary for drunken escapades and shenanigans with considerations and accounting for variables.
If alcohol is X, internet is Y, then web hosting is V. So XY/V with each drink equal to a .002 alcohol level. Super drunk is .100. So our target is 10 drinks, within time or T. So to determine shenanigans levels or S , then
S=10X/T(Y+V) times pie.. oh pie… hey let’s make a cheeseburger with bacon, and cake…
Just a moment…. I’m plotting all that on a graph…
I just saw a bunch of variables and I went to fucking town! HOLY SHIT. We got threee dimensions up in this ***** omg..
I’m gonna recite pie now.
pi = 3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971
Go look that shit up. Yes, I know that many digits of pi.
It scares me that I still fucking remember this. I memorized 60 digits in 2007. I remember this to a t. it’s 2016 people.
Lord, Trey is free! WOOP!
OMG, omg, I memorized Pi to an unreasonable number of digits too!!!
I did it for “Pi Day” (March 14) two years ago.
I spent the whole week trying to impress friends and loved ones and general acquaintances and fast food employees with my Pi-Abilities, and came away from it all crushed when I realized that in the world, NOBODY CARES.
Isn’t that rotten?
I’m so glad you understand my turmoil.
I memorized it by assigning the digits to music, that way all I had to do was remember the songs.
First: (sung to “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star”
3 point 1, 415 926 535 8979 323 8462643 3832795 0288419
Next: (sung to theme from Indiana Jones movies)
716 939 937 5105 8209 74 9445 923 0781
Next: (sung to theme from Jurassic Park)
640 628 620 8998 62803 48253 42117 06
Next: (Sung to Bach’s Minuet in G Major)
youtube.com/watch?v=IzbJiz_DO7E
7982 14 80865 13 2823 066 470 93844 609 5505 8223 17 2 535
Next: (Sung to a bit of “I Am Iron Man” by Black Sabbath)
94 081 28 48 111
That’s what I had done back then.
I’m working on memorizing the next part along with “Mary Had A Little Lamb”:
74502 841 02 7019 385 2110.
It’s possible that I might record myself singing all that at some drunken point in my future.
I got second place that year and I memorized 60 (all like phone numbers XXX-XXXX), but first place got up to 200. two fucking hundred?! Like HOLY SHIT, are you for real?
Ok… I just recorded myself singing the Pi Digits.
And I didn’t even have to get drunk beforehand.
Now… to find that site I use to convert it from WMA to Mp3…
Oh dear. Here we go. lol
Indeed! There it is; go listen. 😉
One thing I haven’t decided yet is what to do with my meds.
Obviously I’m not supposed to take them with alcohol.
So, do I throw caution to the winds by
(1) Taking them with alcohol anyway,
or
(2) Skipping them for one day?
Leave it to me to nerdily pre-plan a night of drunken revelry.
OR maybe it’s “Dealing responsibly with pharmaceutical interactions.”
Yeah…
Go with whichever one you’d rather believe.
Most meds build up in your system, so skipping a day probably won’t make any difference on interaction
WooHoo!!
9
4
081
28
48
111
yeah- Iron Man. You’re right. Holy moses.
Yes!
That’s it! 🙂
what are you working with? ^^^
SSRI, SNRI, SSNRI? SSNRIII?….. methadone?
Amitryptaline and Tramadol.
I got a SNES
Always cover your mouth when you SNES.
Old trick, eat some bread and butter before you drink. Less chance of puking and reduces hangovers
That actually makes a lot of sense.
If it works for you, that’s great! 🙂
The water thing has worked for me every time I’ve tried it so far.
I know that things like bread and crackers help prevent general nausea…
It’s because they are dry…
Something like that.
Healthy living is a myth promoted by the “well adjusted”. Why would anyone want to be “well adjusted” in a sick society?
Sobriety is seriously over-rated. I don’t know how sober people get through life.
Sobriety is fun. Since I’ve been sober…. I uhh.. well there’s….hmm…
Hi there.
I don’t drink, smoke (weed or cigs), or do any of that stuff.
I’m perfectly fine with that.
Sorry to rain on your parade.
It’s my choice not to do those things, just like it’s your choice to do it.
I don’t smoke (tried cigarette once, didn’t care for it.)
I haven’t tried weed but I have been in a whole room full of people smoking it, and OMFG they are hilarious.
I do enjoy getting solidly hammered on an alcoholic beverage of choice every great once in a while, so at least there’s that.
Idk I got so fucking mad with the way morris said that.
I have a fucking life.
I can have a life without any of that shit.
God…
I’m an angry fucking mess. I’m usually quite reserved with how I speak, but it’s 2 am and I don’t give a damn! hahaha
It’s ok.
Everybody likes different things, and that’s ok with me.
I have a life too!
That is, if memorizing Pi out to over a hundred digits and posting about live drunken revelry on a suicide site counts as “having a life”.
Let’s just pretend it does.
Maybe I can sing the next Pi digits to “Kum Ba Ya” while we all hold hands in a circle.
I’d actually love to do that, just not to the Kum Ba Ya song XD
I also remember the number e = 2.718281828459045
I think he was just joking, Trey…it sounds like he was.
I’m sure he was. I think I’m having one of those internal conflicts with myself….
Sorry there, bud.
Of course he was joking.
After all, he once told me he could personally arrange an introduction to Satan.
Surely he was kidding about THAT, right?
(*pause*)….. right?
(*crickets*)
Oh.
^^^ truth yo ^^^
had a therapist tell me one time that heroin “didn’t really make me happy” (paraphrasing)
I should have savagely raped him, right there, on the spot but I just grit my teeth and smiled
Cordless, I don’t know about the amt but in regards to the Traumadull- I find that my stomach starts to hurt if I drink and take them on the same day
“Trama-dull”.
LOL!
You got that right. 🙂
I guess there are lots of different methods of escape or distraction from the shittiness of life. I like drinking but currently only about once a week on average (though sometimes I go completely sober for a couple months). I TRY to distract myself with other stuff the rest of the time, although I’m not sure I’m doing too well with that considering I visit a suicide forum.
I think though that too much alcohol can stop one from naturally processing emotions, which can lead to more overall stress, and a build-up of negative emotions which might seem like apathy until it results in maybe a panic attack or basically an emotional breakdown, if you get what I’m saying (which could include impulsive behavior, or outbursts of irrational rage, etc).
So essentially, one is setting themselves up to be a ticking time bomb ready to explode (in a bad way) if they consistently depend on alcohol as some kind of mood stabilizer. Just my two cents.
Agreed!
I think I indulge rarely enough to qualify as “balanced” in that respect.
UPDATE: I just posted myself singing 197 digits of Pi, and I’m still sober.
Alcohol is a depressant. Combing a antidepressant with a depressant…. 🙂
I’m with Cordless on this one, sometimes it’s good to let your hair down.
Yay!
I didn’t read the post, who it is by or even the comments. Guys I need help. It was the highest trafficking post I found.
How are you? What’s going on?
Let me rip open my scalp and break my skull. Slapping my brain on the table like a slab of beef.
Straight from my mind.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck. I want to gather everything I have with me at this house, put it away neatly and place my book of letters and papers on it. I want to leave. I need to leave. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I’m wasting my time here on SP. I should be packing my shit. God get out of my head! It won’t fucking stop today. Go away! Get out of my head. I want to rip my hair from my scalp and slam my face into a boulder. Maybe if I smash my face in hard enough it’ll make me lose my memory. I can’t fucking take it! Leave me alone! I fucking hate you. Die, die, die, die, die, die. Don’t touch me! DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME! You ruined me! You ruined my life! You ruined my future! Everything! I have close to nothing left because of fucking you! Go away, go away, go away, go away! God I cant even functoin like a normal human fucking being anymore! Yeah I have a job and a couch to sleep on in a house with my best friend. But what is to great about that? Work that can barely pay me out to be able to live. I’m fucking 22 and I should be a lot farther in life than this! I was more sucessful when I was 16! I’m a fucking child, screaming. I can’t stop screaming. Does anyone even hear me? There’s nothing left of me. What’s the fucking point. Why should I move on. Why should I be normal when in my mind is a totally different senerieo. You cant fucking change my head. I can’t change my head. Wait I could. I could give myself memory loss. Smack my face several times on something solid. Fucking bite the crub and smash my brains out. Im I’m ready to walk to a park and find a tree. Just fucking stop stop stop stop stop. I’m not ok and I need to get it out. I spliced my leg but it’s not enough. I’m screaming. I’m breaking and ive know it was coming. I didnt stop myself and have done little to prevent myself. I want this. But god! Fuck!”
I need someone now and if I post I feel like it will be just skimmed past. So I found the busiest post. I’m not ok.
Is this the house where you were staying with a friend and her boyfriend?
Or someplace else?
Please don’t hit your head on anything.
Please don’t hurt yourself.
I need to be able to understand you.
Hey, relax right? I dunno who or what ruined you. But I’m sorry.
22 with a couch, a job, and a friend. That’s alright you know? We don’t start out with everything. It’s a process. It sucks. Wasn’t long ago, I was in that same exact spot. Around the same age.
Probably means nothing during your time of distress, but, it gets better. It gets worse. It gets better again. It’s a roller coaster. Don’t worry about normal. What the fuck is normal? Suppressing emotions? If that’s normal then fuck normal.
All true.
Especially the part about “It gets better, it gets worse, then it gets better again.”
Beaubri? Are you still there?
It’s 3:50 in the morning here, but I’m going to stay up until 4:30 just in case you post something, all right?
I will wait right here and reload the page every minute.
The morning group usually starts coming in around 5:00.
I promise to be here until at least 4:30, if you still need to talk.
I’m shutting down. I took a bit of a sleeping aid to be able to knock myself out. I have been consumed by a snake, like a mouse. Slowly digested. Today a breaking point and I don’t have the time to explain it all to people on SP. It’s ungraspable on what I’m going through unless you knew me and my stories. Im I’m just in a bad place today, shattered. And I shattered myself. I’ve gone close to insane. I cant get away from my mind but sleep. Tonight I will have night terrors. So instead a sleeping aid might help. The next few days are going to be rough. If I make it through the night. I believe the sleeping aid will kick in soon and I will be asleep. Waking up to the harsh reality again. I haven’t been ok for days. Weeks almost. God I cant even type. Everything im sayong is just a big jumble of sentences that dont even flow together I shut down. I got some things out of my system. Then it just went black. God I wonder what is all locked in my mind. Repressed. Repression is the absolute worst. Opening up a world of hurt you thought wasnt there. But surprise! You just remembered a new piece to the puzzle. Good luck pieceing it all together. You’re in for a storm. I think ive gone insane.
A full night’s sleep sounds like a good idea.
When you wake up tomorrow you might be able to fit the puzzle pieces together a little better.
I’m sorry to hear about the night terrors.
The jumble of sentences is perfectly fine; don’t worry about that. I can read everything you said.
It’s how we all write when there is too much on our minds.
Get some sleep.
I can’t promise that things will be better tomorrow, but I can promise you a few things:
1. We will be glad to hear that you made it though the night.
2. Bodies (and minds) tend to heal better during sleep.
3. Whatever you need to say tomorrow, when you’re sorting the puzzle pieces, we will listen.
You mentioned repressed memories.
I found some articles on that.
If, when you wake up tomorrow, you feel like reading them, maybe they can help you put a few pieces together.
http://www.apa.org/topics/trauma/memories.aspx
http://faculty.washington.edu/eloftus/Articles/lof93.htm
https://www.boundless.com/psychology/textbooks/boundless-psychology-textbook/memory-8/memory-distortions-58/repressed-memories-226-12761/
Go to sleep cordelss. night.
I promised to stay up until 4:30, and I will.
Ok. Well, I’ll go to bed now, but I’m still worried about you.
Please post tomorrow so we know you’re all right.
Your voice is Beautiful
🙂
Wow. Impressive. But what I want to know is this: With your incredible musical talent (yes, I’ve heard your amazing arrangements) and a voice like that (I mean, who can sing a string of numbers, a-Capella, and still come off sounding like an angel?) why in the world are you single and suicidal (in your 40’s)? Cordless, you have SO much to live for… SO much to offer the world.
Thank you for your very kind words.
To answer your question… It’s complicated, but I guess the short version is this: In my decades on this planet, I’ve found that men don’t tend to be attracted to women with the kinds of physical disabilities and medical issues I have.
It’s been hard to come to terms with that, yet here I am, single and occasionally suicidal in my 40’s.
Oh you replied here? OK. Yeah, I thought my comment might have slipped your eye, so I started a thread yesterday (For Cordless), but some of your “fans” spammed it instead, and so I just deleted that post. Just in case you were wondering why it’s no longer on this site.
Yeah, I’ve deleted ALL of my original posts. I don’t post/comment here much anymore. I don’t even lurk here much anymore. This site isn’t really what I thought it was when I first found it. Isn’t that pretty much how everything is in life? Ha!
Thanks for your exceedingly honest answer. Yeah, most guys are only interested in the superficial materialism of the physical. I guess most people are as well; not just men. People are plastic and fake. Most of them are anyway. Do I sound cynical? Life has made me that way, I suppose.
Nonetheless, my comment was genuine. I did spend some time reading most of your original posts, trying to get deeper and find the real you. Not sure I was successful. Which is another reason for my comment here. Something about you has touched me. Is that a good thing? I would hope so.
Or am I just grasping at smoke?
Respectfully,
Jack