I can see why you’re torn between never wanting to reach senior status and wanting to reach it. I have had similar internal turmoils myself. When I was a kid, all my friends were listening to KISS, REO, STYX, etc., while I was listening to John Lee Hooker, Son House, and Honeyboy Edwards. I was the outcast. There I was, a 10 year old white kid that saw himself as a 70 year old black bluesman. Haha! Funny, I know. Yes, I have battled for over 30 years with thoughts of suicide mainly because I don’t feel I belong here on earth. But for some reason, I’ve never acted on those thoughts. Came close a few times, and by all means, I’m not out of the woods yet. But now I’m 50… and still playing the blues… still living the blues… so, damn, if I can endure this shit for another 20 years, maybe I’ll finally get to catch up to the life image that I had for myself when I was 10? Nothing fancy! Just sitting on the porch of a little shack near the Mississippi playing my guitar for no one at all but me.
You know Alan, I know that existence is pointless, that there’s no purpose or meaning to any of this. But maybe, just maybe, the meaning to life is to give life meaning? If so, each of us has the power to do just that. It won’t be easy, I know. All we can do is try.
1 comment
This rocks! I love it.
I can see why you’re torn between never wanting to reach senior status and wanting to reach it. I have had similar internal turmoils myself. When I was a kid, all my friends were listening to KISS, REO, STYX, etc., while I was listening to John Lee Hooker, Son House, and Honeyboy Edwards. I was the outcast. There I was, a 10 year old white kid that saw himself as a 70 year old black bluesman. Haha! Funny, I know. Yes, I have battled for over 30 years with thoughts of suicide mainly because I don’t feel I belong here on earth. But for some reason, I’ve never acted on those thoughts. Came close a few times, and by all means, I’m not out of the woods yet. But now I’m 50… and still playing the blues… still living the blues… so, damn, if I can endure this shit for another 20 years, maybe I’ll finally get to catch up to the life image that I had for myself when I was 10? Nothing fancy! Just sitting on the porch of a little shack near the Mississippi playing my guitar for no one at all but me.
You know Alan, I know that existence is pointless, that there’s no purpose or meaning to any of this. But maybe, just maybe, the meaning to life is to give life meaning? If so, each of us has the power to do just that. It won’t be easy, I know. All we can do is try.
Thanks for this video. It was cool.
Jack