I think the fact that I was raped and nobody (friends) believe me or support me is what’s going to make me pull the trigger. I told one of my close friends about it yesterday but I made it seem like it was a friend who got raped and not me. And he said “well was she flirting with him.” That pissed me off. Then I said does it matter, she said no and kept trying to push him off. Then he continues to say “Well I know how guys think. He probably thought she was playing hard to get.” “maybe in her mind it was rape, but to him it wasn’t. I don”t know, that’s how I play with my girl.” And he was pissing me off so bad that I started to cry.
A day before that my other friend decided to make a joke before dropping me off the bust station. “Are you sure you want me to drop you off? I don’t want you to get robbed……or raped.” And she began laughing. She doesn’t take it seriously. She says it’s not rape because I didn’t try hard enough to fight him off. So she never took my situation serious.
After these two conversations, I’m starting to think maybe it is my fault. Because why else would friends say and think this. I’m going to die before this month is over. I cannot think like this anymore.
5 comments
Ignorant folks, your friends are. Rape is rape, there shouldn’t be a gray area. You didn’t want it, and now you’re broken because of it. Even IF you were playing hard to get, even IF you were flirting with him, those things should NOT matter. It’s NOT your fault, and your friends think so because they’re disgusting assholes. Having friends you can’t even go to for support really fucking sucks. Hang in there.
It’s not uncommon that rape victims think it’s their fault, which it’s not. Find someone who you can talk to. The people who call themselves your friends are supposedly not the right people to talk to about it. When someone forcefully violates you while you fight back and keep telling him to back off, it’s NOT “playing hard to get.” Some people don’t have boundaries and someone who never was in such situation can hardly understand what you gone through or even just imagine it.
Don’t start blaming yourself for it and don’t close yourself up. Find some help, do it for yourself and to save next victim. Your life shouldn’t end in ruins, it’s him who should suffer consequences. Be strong and find someone to talk to. It can be a relative, a doctor, an anonymous hotline, a school counselor if you are at school, anyone who can listen and maybe provide a proper help.
It is not your fault, and just because someone is your friend, they can still be profoundly ignorant in some area. They also sound insensitive, however, which makes me think you should reassess your friendship with them. It is one thing to not be able to relate to the experience or understand the severity, but to not support you when they can see you are hurting, that… really sucks.
This is important: you should respect yourself.
Some years back, I betrayed myself, because someone I love very much disagreed with aspects of me and pressured me to change. I changed for them, because I love them. And it hurt me, really, really, really bad. I wish I had never done that. Never ever.
Don’t sacrifice who you are to gain the approval of others. It is not worth it.
“Don’t sacrifice who you are to gain the approval of others. It is not worth it.”
Excellent advice man!
Came here to say sth but your comments guys were so complete that I ended adding nthg.
no means no…stop means stop…you dont have to fight at all…and it can even be dangerous…if you said no or stop then it’s rape…and then to be betrayed by people who supposedly care about you…that is heartbreaking…it’s not you…faery wishes to you…