Perhaps I’ve been suicidal since I was seven years old, which was ten years ago. I guess the bullying of my friends and peers were the start of it. I saw everyone having at least four friends as I played by myself, I was never the one that anyone thought was fun or cool. I was the freak with the buck teeth.
I was also diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome at that time. I often was in my imagination, being friends with imaginary friends until I was fourteen.
There was only one friend that I knew, and she went to a different school, but each summer, we would meet at a day care and have ideas about making movies and a television.
Over time however she left. As well as many other best friends who did as well. I felt so alone. What made things worse was my mother. She didn’t understand me at all. She would leave me when I’m crying, and stay in a hotel just to stay away from me.
I felt like a broken tool, a broken toy that was too expired to be repaired.
I have a boyfriend who loves me deeply, but I expect him to leave me too.
I honestly don’t expect this stupid stories to have any comments, or even read at all.
I’ve been kicked out of so many groups like this… Give me a reason to feel just a tad better by not blocking me.
5 comments
People usually leave, relationships are mostly temporary. It seems rare to have friends who stay around for decades, and when you do, the friendship might end by their death, so…
It seems that all one can do is try to be good to people when you’re around them. Be kind (and honest, in a courteous way). Treat them the way you’d like to be treated. Don’t get too attached either.
Don’t take your boyfriend for granted; try to have a good time with him. There are many folks who wish they had a significant other (or a romantic p.artner who actually cares) so since you have one, make the most of it and hopefully you’ll bring happiness to each other.
Look forward, not back. Your past doesn’t have to define you. Focus on finding peace for yourself in the present. *hugs*
nepheliad’s comment/advice is solid. Are you broken? We all are in some way or other – some realize it, others never do. Understand that life IS change – it’s fluid, always in motion, always moving – like a river flowing to the sea. Friends and relationships WILL come and go – let them.
While they are in your life, enjoy the people who enter your life and treat you with respect. Don’t blindly trust just anyone, only those who’ve proven they can be trusted and been found worthy.
I don’t see any reason why you’d be block or banned here – seems to me, you fit right in 🙂
Can’t promise that every post you make will be addressed/commented on ( i know plenty of mine are met with silence) but I suggest respectfully joining in the conversations of others and helping other folks here and you’ll get more out of this place.
welcome 🙂
social dawg
Hears a few tips on how to use the website
*You can use poetry and art to vent. (It helps to give others an idea of what you’re going though, and its easier to read a poem then a “vomit vent”).
*You can read other people’s posts and comments to get different ideas on how to handle things.
*Don’t get caught up in the SP matrix. as you can guess things can get pretty depressing and strange here(ignore trolls).
I have aspergers and bi-polar disorder and can say this.
1. You have to adapt to your environment
2. Not everybody’s your friend, a lot of them are though
3. A lot of normal people aren’t actually normal.
4. People will be jealous of your intelligence.
5. Being proactive is the only way to make aspergers better.
Good luck
Alien aspie
You are young and you just experiencing all this. We are all broken here. People in our lifes come and leave. The only person that will remain is yourself. Enjoy each moment. I’ve lost friends, girlfriends, family but yet I’m still here. Love yourself. Btw welcome to sp. I’ve been here over a month and nobody is being kicked out of here. Everyone will treat you with respect and read whatever you post here.
Every broken toy deserves love and don’t ever thing you deserve any less than a life filled with beauty and love joy and warmth I really wish you happiness in endless ways you sound like a magnificent person just a little rough around the edges but life does that to everyone were all broken toys but the incredible thing is we help each other find our lost parts as cheesy as it sounds , I do hope you smile when you read this because I’m sure anyone would be lucky to have an incredible person such as you as their friend or even present in their life ,
Much love spark of hope