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is it weird that miss the people on this site ???

by noneedforaname

Well I made it out alive once more, not sure how I feel about that. Actually just woke up. After more shit was thrown on my already full plate, I lost it and raged like I tend to do. So after being up for 3 days partying, rippin the scooter down the highway at 120+ enough alcohol and other things that would kill a herd of elephants, sleeping for another day. I woke up, but instead of being pissed off because I did wake like usually do, I woke up and thought of the people that I’ve met here that have showed me love and support. To all of you ( and you know who you are ) that have been here for me from the beginning I’d like to say I’m sorry for my selfishness. My last post was done out of pure and unadulterated anger and I left that post with a sense of uncertainty. I’m guilty of doing things like that, but I continue to work on that still. Unfortunately depending on what’s going on, I have no problem hittin my self destruct button. But I know how it feels not knowing about the well being of someone I care about and having to worry about them, and then finding out I lost them or the anger of finding out that they made it out but made worry anyways, I feel that I’ve done that to some of you, and for that I am truly sorry

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Cordless 5/4/2016 - 12:23 am

Welcome back!

😮

Cordless 5/4/2016 - 12:24 am

Be sure to try the Rice Krispies therapy I mentioned on your previous post.

suicideproject.org/2016/04/sick-and-tired-of-being-sick-and-tired-3/

noneedforaname 5/4/2016 - 2:15 am

Thank you sweetheart, no I didn’t this time, I got all therapeutic with uncle Ron ( Bacardi ) and stuff. Shouldn’t have but that’s how I’ve self medicated since I was about 14 or so. After all this time you’d think I’d have figured out but I haven’t, ( still working on it though ) I read your post earlier too. I just did the same thing your friend did. Just walk away with no certainty of what may have happened and if something would’ve happened to me it wouldn’t have been anybody’s fault but my own. You needed the rest, how can you help anybody else if can’t help yourself. Be good to you cordless, you deserve it.

Wintergirl 5/4/2016 - 6:20 am

I’m glad you are back. Sorry that you’ve been struggling. You’ve been through a lot. Try to be kind to yourself, I know easier said than done. Keep talking here if it helps.

noneedforaname 5/4/2016 - 8:21 am

Thank you wintergirl, I try, every now and then there comes a time when I can’t control me. Like when I was younger, as long as nothing happens in a couple days I can usually reel myself back in. It’s been a little harder lately cause I’ve been alone, but SP does help, and as always, I appreciate the kind words

Hazy Day Sunflower 5/4/2016 - 8:34 am

I read your back posts. They don’t seem hateful. Very well thought out actually. Did you delete something?

noneedforaname 5/4/2016 - 9:08 am

No I didn’t delete anything, what I meant by hatred was that I was angry ( actually beyond angry )and it was my hatred for life. I would never intentionally post anything towards anybody on this site. I’ve gotten nothing but support here, and I’m glad that you guys knew that I was talking about you. It helps to vent here when things are bother me, but I also love being able to give back, it gives me a little sense of worth.

noneedforaname 5/4/2016 - 9:16 am

Hit the wrong button before I could finish. I just wanted to say thank you HDS for always having a kind word when I need it, 🙂

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