I don’t feel like myself anymore. Any way I say it sounds stupid, but why am I expected to love myself when I cant even recall who i am?
There is so much I hate about myself and I cant see through it anymore. Ive been trying for years to be better. So many years. I cant do this anymore, I just cant. Im wearing thin.
When I look at myself, I don’t see me, I see someone else. She’s so familiar now. I know her more than I know myself.
She despises who i am, she’s hateful and deceiving, she’s scared and hurt. She’s the worst part of me. She’s almost all of me now.
Lets just call her LostKat. Oh, how ironic that is.
If anyone can find RealKat please let me know. Ive been waiting a very long time to see her.
I miss you RKat, Love,
LostKat Forever <3
4 comments
“When I look at myself, I don’t see me, I see someone else.”
So don’t call her LostKat.
Call her.. I don’t know… a name you like. And than you love this girl, she’s wonderful, pretty. You love her as much as you can.
Some day you can change her name again ‘LostKat’ you!
It’s the same person, the same girl, you love so much. Just an other name.
Not she’s wonderful, no, YOU, you’re wonderful!
Is that too complicated?
Its not that complicated, just a different kind of complicated. How can I love her if I already hate her? I’ve tried loving her, I really have, for years now. I guess I’m just getting tired.
LostKat,
What bnwB said! 🙂 and if i may add a little more! instead of answering your post further i’m going to make a post this Friday or Saturday on this subject. because of you! 🙂
I can really relate to this. You expressed it perfectly.
A wise man once said that “[L]ove is a verb. Love – the feeling – is a fruit of love, the verb.”