Hi there everyone.
I am a 29 year old guy from India and thanks to the availability of N these days, I am going to die peacefully within a week from now. This will be my first and the last attempt. I’m about to order it in a day or two.
I guess a big part of the reason people can’t kill themselves is that they can’t find a suitably quick and painless method to do so. Well, I can’t give anyone a vendor name here either because of the obvious reason that law-enforcement agencies will be knocking on his door soon if I do so, and I have no intention to spoil the very rare 1-2 such genuine outlets that help people like me out. So, no queries on that from me please. Go do your own research elsewhere.
Anyways, 30 years weren’t exactly hell for me, but I guess after having a disturbed childhood, after suffering from health problems from last 5 years, having low self-esteem about appearance and being sexually frustrated and lonely (btw, I’m a virgin :), not that I want any bitches now) for long enough, I think its time to end it now.
The only thing that worries me is that there has been some paranormal activity in my bedroom for last few months, and it makes me wonder if maybe a wandering spirit is contributing to my negativity and wants me to join it in its suffering. But anyways….I guess too much is too much already, and I will die nonetheless. I ain’t a ***** like many here. I’ll teach you guys how to man up to killing yourselves 🙂
My last advice: Guys, don’t hurt anyone in your life, at least not out of envy, unjustifiable hatred, or simply because you can do so. Be kind. Donate to the helpless. Don’t give your bullshit to someone who hasn’t wronged you at all.
Cheers and high-fives!!!
PS: Maybe I’ll post my last moments on N here too
Will be something for you guys to enjoy 🙂
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21 comments
Why do you refer to females as ‘bitches’ yet talk of the need to be kind and respectful to others ?
Being kind and respectful has a lot more to it than using the word ‘*****’ on the internet, and I’m not here to explain it.
You are an interesting indian. You are deep and speak in an intelligent manner. Usually indians seem to me as “more superficial”. I respect your decision to end your life. I think you are already aware of the consequences it might have in the afterlife.
Anyway, I have to admit it, life is really empty and pointless for some people.
Hey, thanks for the complements. Appreciate it.
Yes, I have contemplated the afterlife MANY times. And I’ll be honest, I think it could turn out to be not so good. My dad killed himself by cutting wrists and maybe still haunts my house. He kind of ‘communicates’ every now and then. Either that or its some other spirit.
But what the hell, I’m an intrinsically ‘good guy’. I struggled with depression, bullying, abusive parents, inferiority, etc for a long time, and I still fought through that without hurting anyone, and so I think that I’ve done my bit and have only good karma to bank on. I sort of feel like I ‘deserve’ a ‘nice holiday’.
And from what I’ve heard, death through N is Ssssweet 🙂
As an indian you live in a culture based on beliefs such as karma which doesen’t see suicide as something very wrong. Here in Europe, christians see suicide as eternal punishment and eternal hell…
Nope, suicide is a bad thing here too, religion almost treats it as a crime here !
But I think that it depends on the suicidal person’s last mental state, the painfulness of the method, the kind of person he has been in his life, etc. All of these factors have a say in where he might end up.
But all said and done, I agree that everything can end fucked up.
I wish I could find N like you.. I don’t want to live anymore either. I think I will have to make N myself. Don’t know how I will do that though.
Btw, you seem pretty intelligent man.
@madhurgupta thank you 🙂 but what made you think that? Everyone irl tells me I am stupid. BTW I am from Bangladesh. You are from india, right?
Good luck. Send you peace….
Thanks.
Some of us have reliable methods on hand already. We hesitate for different reasons. Almost as many reasons as there are people.
Anyway, I hope you go out peacefully. And I hope you don’t join whatever negative spiritual presence it is that’s been pestering you lately.
Thanks a lot
Good speed. You sound like a really smart person 🙂
If you are suicidal, those demons do come. I know b/c I have my own paranormal activity. I think your life is worth a lot more than this macho bravado you display. You must have a lot of anger at women to call us bitches and to refer to pussies and manning up and calling women “guys”. Maybe seeing a counselor could help you sort it out, rather than throwing away your one and only precious life. You weren’t taught to respect your own life b/c abuse always negates that respect. Trust me I know. Yet you have much more to give. I respect your choice but I don’t really think you want to die, I think you want someone to respect that you lived at all.
Appreciate your concerns. Thanks.
I know, it sounds like I’m disrespectful towards myself, maybe I am too….but who cares, I’ve reached a stage where not caring about what happens to me or world is so much fun indeed! 🙂 I like this feeling very much, I feel SO powerful! Neither did I anticipate it.
Everybody’s life, not just mine, is pointless no matter what they say. It’s just that people fear death due to evolution and therefore keep living, and INVENT reasons to live. Even a cockroach fears death…you understand what I’m saying here?
If the world didn’t then 99% of the world would be dead.
Its like I’m in a free fall from the sky and instead of dreading the death, I’ve instead started enjoying the adrenaline rush from it.
Its amazing!
Ok guys, made the order! Yayy!!!!!
Can you PLEASE leave us an email address where we can contact you in private to get your vendor?! It’s almost selfish not to. And to say “do your own research” well I have been for months! It’s damn near impossible to find!
Hey there.
What is N?