The act of eating too much because you think that maybe it will help you ease the emptiness inside you.
The act of sleeping too much thinking that maybe somehow things will change the moment you wake up from your every sleep.
Do you feel the same?
It feels really empty, no matter how many people talk to me, be friends with me, laugh with me still at the end of the day I still feel crap and depressed. And I dont even know the fucking reason.
4 comments
I feel like that daily, that is why I’m here to know I’m not alone
hey there, well, to answer your question – “do you feel the same?”, YES. and, forgive me if this offends you, but is that all you’re going through? seriously? (i’m not trying to insult you). if that’s all, then you are one of the luckiest people in this spinning space rock. you want to know why you’re lucky? because, believe it or not, there are millions out there (if not 100’s of millions), who are going through things worst than yours. again, i’m not ridiculing you. i’m here to help you. why? because i know what you’re going through. i’m 29 now, have severe OCD & phobia since childhood, been on meds for 10yrs now. my parents hated me, my three “best friends” betrayed me, i really don’t have friends, and this year i’ve developed depression & severe panic disorder (about 100+ panic attacks in the past seven months, i’m not bluffing). i was always filled with fear and restlessness, and inside my head i’m tortured with continuous suffering. my life has been profusely bleeding for the past 15-20 years or so, but no one was there for me (not even my family). every moment of each and every single day of life is a fierce battle of hopelessness, anger, fear, confusion and torment. and, chances are, it will continue like this for a longer time from now.
i know it is really hurting you right now with what you are going through, and a lot of questions are popping in your head all the time with no answers , but with just more and more confusion. it really pains me to see people going through like that, and there’s no magic pill for it no matter how much you want it. my honest suggestion to your problem is this:
never lose hope. never tell yourself anything different about yourself which you genuinely know is not true. you may feel down and alone all the time, but in such times you need to remind yourself all over again that you are not responsible for it. these kinds of things come and go as they like- nothing controls them, not your actions, nor anything you’ve done or you didn’t do. they will hurt you only if you give your time and mind to them. they will not go away overnight. you need to take control over your life, and that can be done not through brute force, but by something very counter-intuitive, i.e., “no force” at all. just let it pass through you like something that does not actually exist (because they really do not exist).
ok, i’ll stop here. (getting too lengthy, but absolutely necessary)
take care, friend…
Chemicals in the brain. Plain and simple.
I’d consider checking out the studies by The Center On The Developing Child At Harvard University.
One thing that they’ve studied that I like a lot is how early childhood experience creates connectors in the brain that make it easier and easier until it’s nature for us to feel depressed or suicidal all the time. Even if life is good, maybe even great. Think of it as a single generation evolution.
This is why it’s common for mental disorders to run in a family. It’s not necessarily always a genetic feature (although this is possible.) but sometimes childhood experiences are similar and create the same chemical patterns in the brain.
So, I wouldn’t stress about it. It’s not that you want to be depressed, it’s just your base level. So just work around it. Try to make sure that it doesn’t trick you into unhealthy lifestyle choices. That will only create a new type of depression for you.
But I got your back. It’s conquerable.
Thanks