Let the ocean take me
Crazy how you can stand by someone through everything and no matter what they do or say to you, yet once you begin to go through your darkest hours, it’s “I don’t want to talk to you when you’re like this” or “can’t do this right now”.
But I did it for you, I stayed by you when you were “like this” too. Don’t tell me you care about me if that’s what you can say to me.
Fresh snow today covered everything. Wiped away all the bad energy replaced it with a fresh, clean feeling. At least for a little while. Hopefully the lonely thoughts won’t visit me in my sleep. I could use a good rest.
all of your posts are gone, I hope you’re okay….take your time but please comment when you’re ready to talk, I’m worried about you! sending you my love <3
Death should come naturally after a long life with good and bad times. It’s a natural process: birth, life and death. We shouldn’t think too much about it. It’s a play of consciousness: sometimes you feel more alive, sometimes you feel like dying.
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I’m killing myself as soon as my parents are gone long enough. Or try to at least. Take a bunch of sleeping pills, fill my tub with cold water and ice cubes, and try to catch hypothermia, or freeze to death. Funny how I cut but I’m afraid of pain…. I just want it to stop. My wrists are scarred, and I blame it on a cat I don’t even have. If you actually read this, I don’t want any sympathy, like “Don’t do it! You’re worth it!” Tired of that bullshit. 11 years old and already planning to die. I’m a failure.
I have those strong deja-vu moments where I’m certain the situation happened exactly the same a while back or even a year. Do you experience it too?
Tired of this boring life yet I can’t do something to change it and make it more exciting.
I woke up this morning covered in hives. I still feel an oncoming fever and my lymph nodes are swollen. It hurts to breath. I also have had years of reoccurring tonsilitis and stones and they are back too. I spent 7 hours last night trying to clean and reorganize my moldy, dusty, shared basement in an attempt to de litter my life and combat stress. But, it seems to have been a bad idea because now I’m soooo sick.
I was saying two days ago if I have to live in my awful house with this shitty life much longer, I think I’m going to […]
I’m going to starve myself again today
I remembered again. I’m a student officer in our department in college actually. I was going to the office to get some things. Before I open the door, I heard them inside. “She’s useful here cause she has her pen tab.” that really broke my heart… It stopped me from drawing for about a month. I put my pen tab in a box and I can’t even look at it. I hate seeing it. It became a burden. Then I started again, because they’re right! […]
What do you think? Are people really listening, paying attention, immersed in reality, wanting to know what is going on? My opinion is that no, they’re not. Why?
I have a not so good life and if death is infront of me, I’ll take it. But what scares me is that even if my life is bad right now, many years from now, I’m living my dream. Like everything from the past is gone and I’m the new and happy me and I can do all the things that makes me happy but suddenly dying of an accident…
I was just sitting, drying my hair infront of the fan when suddenly my future pops in my head like me living alone, working then lying on my death bed and it scared me. I panicked inside knowing that time is faster than I think and the me who’s still in college right now will soon end
Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined that I would be writing here about my depression. I honestly never knew the impact of depression before I had it.
It all started when I joined college. During my school days, I was one of the most popular students and held various leadership titles. But now when I look at myself in the mirror, all I can do is regret about myself. I’ve joined college in a foreign country miles away from my family and friends. Plus this is also where my brother studied. I was really excited about everything and did pretty well for a […]
I never should have revealed my age.
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Oh, and don’t answer I would like to just see 0 everyday.
I used to bottle up all my emotions, and stuffed it in a “box.” I was like Dr. Spock, all logic no feelings. But at some point I broke. I experienced my first heartache and now I can’t get back to the way I used to be. I am now all emotional and sensitive. Before I could at least deal with life by shutting off all emotions and go through life via logic. But now that the emotions have seeped out, I can’t stuff it back in.
Has anyone gone through this? Did you go through life suppressing all […]
Can I have a normal relationship with people anymore? A large part of me still wants to shut everyone out. But a human cannot live with no companionship. Or at least live sanely with no one to talk to or be with. And I have so much pent up anger for people…