Home Chronic Pain I feel so alone that nobody cares even if I die
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My name is Niki Wonoto. I am from Jakarta, Indonesia.
I am severely depressed & suicidal. I feel so alone, nobody cares, even if I die.
I’m 38 years old loser & failure. Maybe better to just die.


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i_am_kin 12/10/2020 - 12:52 am

What if I told you I cared?

bluefairy 12/10/2020 - 3:06 am

That isn’t true. I have been stuck in my space station for many years.

If I could I’d try all the treatments out there. I’m afraid of the battle i’m facing just to afford healthcare.

I found a small amount of solace studying piezoelectricity and also static electricity on Wikipedia.

I think negative ions in static electricity explains why a body of running water or cloudy day out on the ocean is healing.

Once I saw The King and I and the blue ribbons the actors used to represent a river across the stage was even soothing. Maybe it’s just me.

Have you found anything that helps?

Yoges 12/10/2020 - 12:24 pm

Hi, Niki. I envy people’s guts who reveal their identity here. I’m too weakassed to ever be able to do that.

All I can say is sometimes it’s a mercy that nobody cares. It can give you freedom to choose both life and death on your own terms and your own time.

Jack 12/10/2020 - 12:49 pm

You’re right

eternaldarkness 12/10/2020 - 7:40 pm

i feel the same way, Niki

Robert77 12/15/2020 - 10:59 pm

There are people that do care like me because we have suffered like you so we understand. People that haven’t suffered will not care. 38 is still young in my book so don’t give up hope. I was a meth junkie at 38 lol. My ex-wife thought it would be nice for me to join her in her destruction at the time so I did. Good times until I ODed and should have died and today I wish that I did back then. Still I bounced back at the time and actually had some fun for awhile in life. I hope you make better choices than I did.

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