i don’t even want to do anything. nothing seems fun. my games, my art, my music, my writing, the videos i watch. my body won’t even let me sleep the day away. the people above our apartment continuously scream and stomp and body slam into the floor, which is just so awesome. mom and stepdad have been fighting. even better. I can’t even use the normal fucking laundry basket because of it. jokes on them, i haven’t changed out my clothes in days. i’m bored, but there’s nothing fun to do. even my typical things. my comfort things. nothing is fun anymore. everything is so bleak and bland.
had to answer the door for some random guy delivering stuff for my stepdad. he probably thinks i’m a moron the way i talked and acted. i look young enough to pass as a minor so maybe its fine. ahaha. i’ll be overthinking that for days now.
i just deleted her messages… mainly for space on my phone… if i get a new one soon i won’t have them anyway… just… i feel gross for it. i still miss her.
2 comments
When you get to that stage where everything is grey, it becomes harder to pull yourself out. I’m unsure if this will work, but maybe splurge on a game or movie you’ve wanted to see. Just trying to break out of that cycle. Might be hard to get interested in it, but if you really focus on it, it might give you that push you need
I know that was hard to delete her messages. It’s not going to automatically heal, but it’s a step in that direction. All that’s left is time.
I have shorter periods of that, just nothing does anything for me. So what I usually do is do something that I’ll appreciate later like fold laundry, do the dishes, clean something. Sometimes I just sit and wait for boredom to find me, then I do something marginally better like watch a video.
The worst thing is trying to force joy. A game or other thing that I usually enjoy, I try to steer clear of. But, for me it passes in time.