i have sat down so many times and contemplated how to end my life how my time i have tried and how scared i have felt and chickend out of it, i was abused at a very young age i just want closure and a way to let it all go….
at a very young age maby 5 or 6 i was molested by my babysitters husband i remeber him putting his hands in my pants every night i stayed over her house and mom worked late. he would wait till everyone was alseep and come to the living room and touch me while lay there i never knew that it was bad and never spoke up because it felt good.this went on till the age of 12 he never penetrated just rubbed. i was raped by a boy whom i trusted with my life and to this day i still see him around were i live this happend to me three summers ago i was 18 years old it happend in his house while we were going to drop off his bike. i always blamed myself it was always my fault. i have also gotten pregnant twice both times condoms were used and i was on the pill i aborted both because i could not raise a child with a jail bird and the second time was a mutual choice with an ex. i hve dropped out worked at a dead end job and smoked weed heavy and tried cutting myself and even tried overdosing on pills i just feel like i should be dead although things have gotten slightly better i am a freshmen in college i still cant let go of my past
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No one would expect you to let go of who you were and what you’ve been through anyway. The past is a constant reminder of times we wish we could let go of, yet they will forever be with us – we live with them in the present, so that they may inform our future. Take this knowledge, these trials of uncertainty and pain – let them guide you forward unto a tomorrow more better informed – and live each day with the notion that yes, not all has been well in my life, but I’m still here and I’m ready to fight this battle all the way through.
Live with your past, exist through today, and shape a new tomorrow. All the best to you, Grace.