Well, It’s been a long 26 years that I’ve been alive… I have accomplished nothing of value. I do not contribute to the betterment of society. I am selfish and I know it. I lie and manipulate the people I care about most. I’ve lost every love I’ve ever had due to my mental illnesses.. I’ve been trying to get better, I really have, but it’s just too much. I go to group 3 days a week, then I have my ACT team 4 days a week, my psychiatrist every 2 weeks, one on one therapy once a week. My body is filled with prescription drugs that do nothing to make me feel better. When I’m not seeing a therapist or going to group or whatever, I’m always drunk or high or both. I’m not doing anything with my life and I don’t see a future with me in it anymore.
So here I am, writing this suicide note…
I don’t know how I got this far down the dark hole of depression, but I’m here and there seems to be only one way out. I’ve made up my mind and there’s no changing it. I’m going to kill myself very soon. It would take a lot to convince me not to do it. I suggest you don’t try and stop me, but accept that I will finally be at peace. I’ve been down so long…I no longer see the bright light at the end of the tunnel, it’s just all darkness.
I know that none of you know me, and that’s why I am able to post this now. Please don’t hate me, I try so hard to be good.
4 comments
Hey sweetheart. I understand you. And honestly, I was in your position no more than two weeks ago. Unfortunately, my attempt failed…I know you want to leave, and by no means am I holding you by your will right now, I just wanted to be selfish as well in your last moments and say thank you for staying here so long doing what you do and I love you. No matter what you’ve done, how you feel, what you say, or who you might be, I love and care for you from the bottom of my heart; and it breaks to hear you are in such an awful place. But I love you. And soon, whether you decide to stay or leave, things will be better. Godspeed, my dear.
everyone has their own breaking point.
Hello friend. If you are willing to talk to someone, I’m here. I’d like to talk with you. My email is mcarlson938@yahoo.com and kik is mightybison88 (haha). Shoot me an email or chat 🙂
I dont hate you. I love you. I understand how you feel we all do. I wish the best for you even with out knowing you.