… It goes on and on, with every new dawn bringing more sorrow than the dawn before it…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0DF41cOkII
… Or, if you can’t afford the bus ticket to hell, just do it in your basement.
It’s so very simple. Fill the place with gas(but make sure it is sealed off from the outside if you choose this), or pour gasoline or any other highly imflamable substance all over. That’s how I plan on going down… Going down in fucking flames. The life of a damned soul I had, and the same death shall I have. I imagine everything so clearly… The flames surprisingly lighting as high as the ceiling when I drop the burning match on the floor… The extreme heat of the inferno […]
Death.
You heard me. All I want from this life, all I’m asking, is to just fucking die. I don’t want no well-paid job, no expensive car(s), no bank accounts full of money… I just want to be exterminated from this world, and return to my place of origin, the place I was before being born, wherever that is…
The thing holding me back? My parents. They might not feel very close to me (well, at least one of them may not), but I love them more than anything, even though they walk on my fucking nerves sometimes and don’t give a fuck about how I feel…
My […]
How wonderful!
About a couple months ago, my dad tried to kill my mom. I stopped him, then he tried to kill himself by drinking the acid he wanted to throw in her face…
To make things even better, ever since my dad returned home from the hospital (a month and a week ago), there’s been constant fighting between my parents.
And for some reason, I ”need” to get counselling for this ”traumatic” event… As if this was the first time my parents try to murder each-other, or to my dad tries to kill himself…
Oh well, life is good, ain’t it? Fuckin’ tired of this shit…
Well,I guess we’ll soon find out if I’ll live or die through this…
I just made a suicide pact with myself.I’m going in vacation back to my homecountry of Romania and,if things don’t change for the better until the end of the summer,then that’s it.It will never change for the better.It’s now or never.
I’m not even hoping that things will get better,because I know that every time I put my hopes in something,it turns into a huge and painful disappointment.Sometimes I really want something very bad to happen so I have a ”reason” to kill myself,as if I don’t already have one…
Haha,anyway,if I do commit suicide […]
I really hoped I wouldn’t get into this state ever again…
Last time I had these very violent urges,I almost killed someone…over a damn simple insult!Ever since,I hoped that I could control myself,as to prevent these urges from ever coming back again…They’re back now,despite of all my efforts to keep the violent thoughts away from my mind…
The worst part is that,when suffering from these urges,I almost totally lose control of myself.Just the smallest trigger of an insult can make something in my brain just snap,and then I lose control,attacking the individual(s),regardless of their size or number of people in the group.I believe that it this aggressiveness […]
Hey…I don’t think I ever mentioned this on this website,so here we go: I have a band.I am a musician.Yep,yep,I know that I am a schizoid idiot with anger management issues,but hey,that doesn’t stop me from singing,right?
Anyway,we’re approaching the completion of our last song and the release of our first album.Working on this album was the only thing keeping me motivated to hold on a little longer for the last 3 months.So yeah,after the album is released,I think I’ll just hang myself.
I only posted this so I could say goodbye to anyone…You see,I got no one.No (caring) family,no friends…no one…So I thought I might say […]
Problems from both inside and outside are drowning me in an ocean of sorrow…I thought I managed to overcome the drug addiction,but this morning I just couldn’t keep my feelings inside without a little ”outside help”,so I started it again…Taking lots of prescription medication with alcohol in order to achieve that disgusting high feeling and then finally black out,only to wake up in my own puke hours later…
If only I could keep my promise to her that I will keep away from doing this ever again…but if I think about it better,she betrayed me…She just used me to get over her own problems,and then dumped […]
I love it…
I love feeling the sharp pain as the razor slides across my skin and flesh,creating an opening…
I love the euphoric feelings that comes with every new cut…
I love feeling in control of myself…
I love mutilating myself,through cutting or any other way…
Basically,I only live to harm myself.Smoke as much as I can and hope I get lung cancer.Cut as long and deep as I can until I go to the ER to get fixed.Drink as much as I can,until I collapse into an alcoholic blackout and wake up 24 hours later…
I have learned to enjoy physical pain…As I said,it’s the only thing I keep […]
It’s all too fucking much for me…I seem to fail at everything.
I failed in school and high school
I’ve failed in love
I’ve failed at sports
I’ve failed to achieve a normal social life
I’ve failed to continue my musical career because of being a pathetic,self-hating idiot
I’ve failed as a son
I’m only a financial burden on my family,who’s still keeping my useless ass in high school,and for what?I’ll just end up working at a McDonalds for minimum salary and spend all my money on drugs.I know I’ll just disappoint them,like I do with everyone…
I disappointed them when they found out about my mental problems…They wanted a normal son,not this […]
I want to get better,but I got no one to help me…No one to care…No one to even ask me how much more I think I can go…
I want to die and I want to get better at the same time…I’m a nutcase,suffering from various mental problems,so I guess that is the reason most people tend to avoid contact with me…They’re afraid,but they’re wrong…The only person I’m a danger to is myself…I just wish someone was there for me again,like she was…She would always care,and I would do the same…We would support each-other through our struggles with mental disorders…We would fight together to live another […]
Fuck it all.
I tried to make my friends understand what I go through,and the harsh reality hit me:I had no true friends.They were only using me while I was still usable and now that I am going through a hard time,all of them,absolutely all of them,dumped me.
I miss the days when I was together with my ex-girlfriend.We were both struggling with extreme suicidal thoughts and depression,among many other mental illnesses,and we were supporting each-other through this shit.I guess now that she got better she doesn’t give a fuck about me anymore.That’s good…It’s good…It’s all fucking good…Wish you fucking luck with that German guy you are […]
Anyone affected by my death,forgive me…
First of,I want to clear the fact that this is not an impulsive action.
I have been thinking about taking my own life for a long time now.This is NOT an impulsive decision.
I have tried to get better,but I failed…Only choice I got left is to start a new life…in the
afterlife…
I have tried to make people understand how I feel.Nobody cared.I guess I am a pathetic idiot,so there’s
no wonder people would not care.I mean,who would care about someone as pathetic as me?
I have tried to be a better person,and I failed.I failed as a son,I […]
The title describes me completely…I’m a worthless idiot,a pathetic piece of shit…
I fail at everything I do.I do nothing right.Everyone who trusted in me ended up being disappointed by my worthlessness.My parents,my relatives,my friends,my ex girlfriend…And the list of people who I’ve disappointed continues…
Just to show you how much more I can fail,I’ve even failed at dying.Yes,I failed at dying.Two weeks ago I have slit my wrists,but I,being the pathetic idiot I am,was afraid that cutting ”too deep” will give me too much pain…See?I can’t even kill myself right.I had to go to the E.R. and I looked like the complete idiot I am when […]
Hi…
I’ve decided to end it all on Friday,as you saw from the title…Been struggling with severe depression and bipolar disorder for 2 years now…Nobody cares now and nobody will care when I’m gone either,so I figured out that I will be happier in the afterlife(if there is one) more than I am now…I don’t want to hear any of that ”it will get better” crap from anyone,since it will not.I also have a serious vision illness that will at some point let me completely blind.Right now I see kind of good,but my vision will at some point just stop,and there is no cure or surgery […]
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