When i first started thinking about suicide i told myself id never go on prescriptions. Id never “fake happy” yet here i am at a crossroad. I take one path go on the drugs and maybe just maybe ill be ok. Or i can take the other. Living in hell. Slowly destroying myself with each thought until i finally say enough is enough and end it all. The answer should be obvious. I should just take the drugs and shut up but…its more difficult then that.
Abandoned
i read posts about it and im sure most of you like the idea. thinking that it is easier. you dont have to do it yourself. we have it where i live. have since 2016. i looked into it a few times but quickly realized it wasnt the best option. to start with although people with depression and whatnot are eligible for it. its damn near impossible but thats not the only thing. what really got me was a news story i read. it was about a girl. i dont remember what the problem was but she was eligible. it took doctors, trained professionals, seven […]
i sit alone on my bed. or so i think i’m alone until i hear a faint “hello Claire” i turn my head slightly. “oh its you” i reply casually “i didn’t think you were going to visit me today” i say as i go back to looking at the blank space on the wall. wondering what to put there to fill the emptiness. “why wouldn’t i visit you today. i do every other day don’t i?” my friend asked me. “well. yeah. i guess you do.” i look away from the wall and down at my hands. ever so neatly folded on my lap. […]
I dont deserve him. He derserves so much more then me. For this story lets call him Cooper yeah i kinda like that name we’ll go with that.
Cooper and i met through a friend. His friend. My bf. After a while we broke up. He had treated me poorly. I know i cheated. I know i shouldnt have but thats no reason to control someone. To tell them to not talk to anyone.
So a few more boyfriends went by. All the same. Except they just broke up with me. And one day i asked Cooper. Just like that he was my bf. And […]
(Not sure what to make the title and im not sure that was the best one because i dont want to seem selfcentered because im not but oh well it will work.)
No one here knows my story. Some of you may know bits and peices but no one really knows. I know some of your stories. Ive read them. Ive been wonding if i should share mine but im not sure.
If you all dont mind me asking……how bad are things for you? Do you have anything aside from depression amd anxiety? I havent been here in a few months and things have been…..strange to say the least since then and i believe i am far past the point where i even have a chance at being helped. However the extrememly few friends i have, have been as helpful and understanding as they can be. Im just so tired of things being the way they are now.
i have a question for those of you who are/has planned an attempt.
i read a lot of different posts and im confused about how you can pick a date. you’re going to do it in a week. or in july. i mean if im going to do it i would need to get a few things straight first so i would need a bit of time but i dont know an actual date. not until i was closer to it. like within a couple days.
i would like to know about cannabis for depression. what strains work best for you? ive tried durban posion and jack herer. dont a fan of the jack but i like the durban and they are just heavenly mixed together. but i would like to know about maybe an indica strain that works. or another sativa strain. also how are you using it? every few hours? in the morning and at night? im trying whenever i need it but it feels like i always need it. any help would be awesome.
Ive been using marijuana for drepssion for 3 days. Its alresdy stopped working. It seems no matter how sfoned i get i cant shake the depression. I cant see right. Things look weird, almost distorted. I have cold spots. Just random patches on my body where its cold. And i just keep wanting more. My friend has become very concerned. I tokd him i was calling a therapist today. I havent yet. And im not going to. Anyway the main point if this was to ask if i was alone with how quickly it stopped working. And if there was anything else i can do. […]
Does anyone have any therapy options for someone that doesnt really want therapy? My friends been really concerned and has been asking me about it. Id like to do something to ease his mind considering i messaged him early saying i was holding a bottle of pills. I dont want him to worry anymore.
i keep being told “you can get better” “everything can be ok” but can i? will it really be ok? if i relapse have i really gotten better or has it just been delayed? there really is no such thing as being ok. once youre broken thats it, youre f*cked forever. theres no reversing the effects. and the worse part. you didnt ask for this. its not like you were an idiot drinking and doing drugs all the time. no you then know what can happen and if you do it anyway thats your own problem but depression…..someone gave you this problem. they handed it […]
Just because you care about me you think you know what is best. Take youre geds. You should finish school. Dont talk to a therapist they will just drug you. Talk to a therapist you need some kind of help. Would you two just fuck off and let me live my own life. I am capable of it you know.
I have it all figured out. I’ll need about $100 and 2-5 months. That’s it. Then I can be gone. No more pain. No more suffering. A clearly thought out plan that can’t fail. A bit of time before hand to spend time with a friend and distract myself from the foreseeable future. Kinda like one last good week. Its a matter of starting the plan. And knowing where to start.
Why wont you think about me? What about my emotions? You want me to stay. The other wants me to go to them. I just want to be done with relationships. I can fix it all. Make it so i dont have to choose. Ill take a walk later and im sorry but… i dont plan on coming back from my walk. I know niether of you want this but i just cant anymore.
ever sit there having a conversation with someone and you’re vague. not really saying much. in you’re heart you know you are saying goodbye but they have no idea. they don’t know you are just going to randomly stop talking to them. or that you feel its your time to finally leave everything behind. that nothing matters anymore because life is pointless.
Can they admit you to mental health care after you attempt suicide or just if they feel you are a harm to yourself and/or others?
Am I the only one that finds that once people know what goes on in your brain that you can’t make jokes anymore? Let’s say there’s something you really like, anyone else would say “they are to die for” but if you say it you’re apologizing until your face turns blue trying to explain that’s not really what you meant but it is. Until you decided it’s best to just not mention it. I can’t count how many times I’ve gotten an ‘are you serious’ look from people. It’s almost like because I’m different I can’t have the same thoughts as every one else. Like […]
i want to know im not the only one that hears voices. voices that tell you youre worthless. your fat ect. voices that take control of your actions and make cut and scratch yourself. make you say things that you wouldnt say. i want to know there are others like me.
I woke up and after answering my phone messages my first thought was cut. I grabbed all my blades then I just sat there. It’s cold this morning so I put a sweater on. It’s really the only thing stopping me right now from seeing blood seep out of my limbs. I get addicted easily. I’ve been addicted to cutting for a lot of years. My friend wants me to stop. But I cant. It use to hurt. It use to be just something for depression but recently I find the blades tickle. The pain, rewarding. I’ve become more reckless. It use to just be […]
i was going through an episode. i cut up my leg. i was filled with anger and hatred. there wasnt much i cared about. until he reminded me that i did care. that the monster i was, wasnt me. i told him that, if he tried to stop me it wouldnt end well. and he asked me what exactly id do. i started to think about it and then i felt the numbness melt away from inside of me and i started to feel sad. i wouldnt ever hurt him yet there i was thinking i would. hes never been anything but nice and […]