Author

kupo95

I like moogels

by kupo95 6/1/2016

written by kupo95

So as you know I’m home in Chicago with my parents because my mother is making her own problems …. had stoke she said it all lie …migrains yes that’s all….but whatever .

Anyway I kind of left my husband being away from them I realized (well I always knew ) I’m alone I told my husband I been cutting yesterday …and that he has been leaving me alone and in pain emotionally and physically it not that I can hide the the cuts that well my sleeves are short and so are my night gowns . You could of noticed them easily but he chose […]

6/1/2016 0 comment

On my way home

by kupo95 5/27/2016

written by kupo95

So I’m sitting in a airport eating McDonald’s I wish O could say I ‘m happy but I’m not I am leaving from people who make me want to die to the original people who made me want to die . I forgot my razor blade and I’m really upset about it . I can hear the words that my mother and father will yell at me already . The brain damage I am Getting should be used on terrorist .

P.s every body is look as my feet and give me a weird look …I know there jello on my Iron Man socks .

5/27/2016 1 comment

Everybody is insane !!!!!!!!!!

by kupo95 5/26/2016

written by kupo95

OK so I’m going home for a week because my parents are fucking nuts I am going by myself. Enough days in a week to brain wash my husband that my family is Satan minions.the in laws are acting like y family will chain my down to ground so I don’t come back …not like O want to. But what am I gonna do nothing becuase I am a worthless piece of shit .

I all ready yelled at the top of my lungs to stop saying my family will hold me captive .they didn’t care my mother in law is already in her head looking […]

5/26/2016 0 comment

I want to kill myself

by kupo95 5/25/2016

written by kupo95

The same problems from my family are the same , problems with my in laws are the same . I want to cut but I want to cut so deep I bleed out I know my wrist won’t work I want to slit my throat. my phone is a jinx and broke again so my husband went to get me a new one he asked me if I want to go I can’t my in laws are coming back in town so I have to clean . while he walked out my head said no don’t go if you do I will kill my self […]

5/25/2016 2 comments

I would give anything to go back

by kupo95 5/23/2016

written by kupo95

When I was 10 or 11 and my mom just got sick at the time and I was sent to live with my grandmother. Normally no big problem except my grand mother is a ***** and has favorite grand childen Im not one of them. Now the time I spent my grandmother I appreciated now she taught me how to make money cook clean. Problem I slept on the floor was not allowed on her orange suede couch.

But I do have good memories despite the the hours of drilling of being a good wife for the future. Like stay up late listing to music choice […]

5/23/2016 1 comment

It was a secret

by kupo95 5/16/2016

written by kupo95

mother has been in the hospital for the last three days they thought she had a stroke or a heart attack . my mother has had paraplegic migraines and sist on the center of her brain . She was been sick since I was 10 or 11. ..now if she has relapased She will be like she was before was really bad I dont remember much becuase I shut those memories away.

Now the doctor said he found scaring on the brain the was scaring from the past but it might be new or if the sist grew that will be brain surgery.

There was no heart […]

5/16/2016 4 comments

Dose anyone know?

by kupo95 5/16/2016

written by kupo95

I need help to shut off every emotion In my body so I can be manipulated and feel nothing so I can go on with life with brain damage and not care I hope I die some one kill .

I want to bleed I want to becomw a pcyco path .

5/16/2016 2 comments

I cant stop

by kupo95 5/14/2016

written by kupo95

I been cutting again I dont know why I thought I stoped but all of a sudden the razor blade was in my hand and I mad three small cuts no biggie. but becuase my body was acting before my brain I cut deep I was wearing a cardigan and I soaked the inside of it with blood . today I woke up to the devil yelling again Im shit Im lazy worthless I using her for money I am taking advantage her ……..I dont want me kids to be them wich I never said out of my mouth only on sp so What the […]

5/14/2016 2 comments

Hi

by kupo95 5/7/2016

written by kupo95

Hi been a while Im still horrible and want to die but cant

Fond out my sister in law had to get rid of her pregnancy I have be a mess since I found out i was there on the phone when she was given the good news now im sick over it . I cant talk to my brother beacuse I know I will cry on the phone with himand I dont want to put Him threw that .

I hust hate my life Im traped And i wanna die really just drop dead .

Im gonna see captain America tonight that about it .

I been thinking […]

5/7/2016 7 comments

I just told mu mother in law i want to killl my self

by kupo95 5/1/2016

written by kupo95

During a nervous breakdown I bulrted out I WANT TO KILL MYSLEF. Instead of an understanding conversation I got an hour lecture by Sandra because she is more un happy than me and she is out 80gs because of this town….only becuase “I TOLD HER TO BUY IT. ” and how everything that happen before November was a figment of my Imagination and How I destroyed my life she told me That she will send me home if I really want to kill myself she dose not know why. So she will call my mother in the morning if the feeling dose not pass……on the […]

5/1/2016 2 comments

Crying again * what a surprise*

by kupo95 4/30/2016

written by kupo95

I think the fact that I been cutting on an unusual amount recently has finally got me. I finally talked to both of my parents they’re both telling me to come home which I’m starting to think they’re right I’ve only been here 1 month the Amount have a Damage made to myself is too much . I think I’m actually might have left a scar so I I haven’t left a scar since I was 17 years old .when I left the the first letter of the words garbage worthless dirt selfish junk and I should kill myself .I seen yesterday those letters are […]

4/30/2016 4 comments

I have to stop putting make up on

by kupo95 4/28/2016

written by kupo95

So like every time I put on make up I end up crying it all off. Why am I crying today well it started off ok. The house was fliped the girl I live with refuses to clean the bathroom properly but whatever. Im crying because it my fucking husband mother fucking birthday and I have barely any money to buy him somthing . but keep in mind I the spouse that makes money. He buys me somthing with my money in his pocket. Or he brought what ever it is on a credit card which I pay …won it at the casino my […]

4/28/2016 19 comments

I feel another lie coming into the works

by kupo95 4/26/2016

written by kupo95

my husband asked me last night if I wanna go home ….when I said yes he did something really shocking and said OK he will talk to his mother and he will try to go home …good right …BUT…..wait for it………I will have to see what mom says OH MY FUCKING GOODNESS he can’t just tell hiss mother were going home after his birthday can’t do it….OHHHH and here’s another good one we might have to go back to FLORIDA because his car is there and its a hassle to get a shipper what dose he wan’t to do drive home in his two person […]

4/26/2016 1 comment

woke up for what?

by kupo95 4/25/2016

written by kupo95

so today I woke up and wondered why should I …nothing for me to do I’m not making any money today I’m gonna cook and clean and get fuck so, I’m upset.. so when my great husband *sarcastically said * ask why I’m so upset I said do I have any reason to be happy… he said * now this was fucking rich * “try harder I’m not happy either i have no car no money you need to WORK HARDER so wipe that look off your face” I can’t even be upset when I want to how can I not be fake with […]

4/25/2016 5 comments

My day

by kupo95 4/25/2016

written by kupo95

I woke up at 5:45 am from a bad dream and couldn’t fall back to sleep I was already exhausted from being up so early the day before and I went to sleep the night at 1:00 am . I ran a fair in Reno NV from 9:00 am till about 3:00 pm we closed up three hours earlier. the past two days I have been on a fair in the freezing temps yesterday snow today it was rain …the fair was packed with people and it was huge . I some how made 80$ today which beat my 35$ from yesterday .once I got […]

4/25/2016 2 comments

WELL I GOT BIG FAT NO

by kupo95 4/22/2016

written by kupo95

so the other day I was thinking about leaving my husband but now I can’t ……WHY?????? BECAUSE MY MOTHERFUCKING PHONE BROKE…. so anyway for me to leave is gone no way to contact my family to get me a plain or get my own tickets no way of calling a cab or anything how why why…… wow so god works in weird ways but really break the only thing that gave me solace…really…..I hate my life really bad…. now if I do still leave I have two wait two weeks . and spend money I don’t have I literally fucked and it’s snowing it April […]

4/22/2016 5 comments

Why am I here?

by kupo95 4/21/2016

written by kupo95

Why am I with people I hate .

Why Am i in a town with no prosperity?

Why am I killing my self for the selfish people?

Staying with a husband….no a llittle boy who is just as selfish.

I am alone

Why did I do this? Why am i here?

Why? can’t I stop crying

Im so sad, so miserable.

I wake up crying ,I go to sleep crying ..

I want to go home there is nothing for me here or go anywhere with these people …I think I should end every thing

4/21/2016 7 comments

Any body live in texes

by kupo95 4/19/2016

written by kupo95

You alive ?

4/19/2016 3 comments

What if?

by kupo95 4/19/2016

written by kupo95

I am sitting here wondering if I cut again what will they do If they see and I told them the fact i did it on purpose…or if I try to kill myself and I fail what on earth will they do?

Before me husband threaten to to tell my dad and brother but he not talking to my family but have to live with his . I really dont give two flying fucks if he tells his parents I would love to see there recations.

they talk about it….it would look bad on there part becuse every one we know ..knows im not like that or […]

4/19/2016 4 comments

How am I always wrong and crazy

by kupo95 4/19/2016

written by kupo95

I am wrong all the time and im stupid and crazy I want to die I cant take it no more . I am ridiculed for not having money but I havr no help..I have been in this motherfucking town for almost one month . my job as I see it get to the office and make money every body eles can go fuck them slefs. I dont need to put a cup of coffe for my father in law or be apart of this family I dont want to play scategory or Monopoly…. And fucking play house I was told I was gonna make […]

4/19/2016 0 comment

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