i’m fucken sad period. i could never pin point the cause of my sadness but i think it might be a series of things.
example:
1) I got disqualified
2) i keep failing my exams from all of my classes because i cant seem to really input my self into my studying time.
3) i don’t have a path or any direction on what path i want to take for my future.
4) i don’t have friends
5) i feel ugly
6) i feel like a loser
7) My family hates me
8) Nobody likes me
9) i have the same routine every single day
I haven’t been on for awhile but today made me want to tell someone about my day.
In my family i’m the outcast. everyone always tells me i’m doing something wrong or i’m just “to much”. They think i’m incompetent. Yet i’m the only one in college, the only one who didn’t have a child at a young age and brought they’re unemployed boyfriends to live here and feed of my fathers hard earned money, the only one who works hard, and yet i’m the irrational one?
why is it that outsiders seem to notice my hard-work and why is it that outsiders really enjoy my presence […]
i don’t want to live this life anymore. It’s so fucken frustrating to live a life you don’t want. I try so hard to be happy or just content with my life but I can’t. I hate my life. Sometimes when I’m walking in a crowd of people I wonder if someone feels as lonely as I do. Like you don’t belong among society. No one understands me. So why talk about it again to ppl that say care about me if they don’t understand me? I can’t connect with “normal” people anymore. It seems like I keep losing friends and breaking up with partners […]
A dominant theme in our society is that you should be happy, and if you’re not, there’s something wrong with you. Life can be difficult at times. It is in the labeling of people as depressed that the greatest injustice is done. I’m not suggesting that there aren’t people who are indeed clinically depressed, but simply that the indiscriminate manner in which diagnoses are meted out to people without proper discrimination is grossly absurd. When clinical diagnosis of depression is made in the astronomical numbers we witness in American culture, it speaks to something much larger: A […]
Hello Vinnie (panda)
You know when you feel like you are in the right place at the right time? well, thats how i felt every moment i spend with you. logic cant explain why i feel that you and i where meant to be as one- even beyond after i leave this world… i still love you and feel so close to you, even-though you are so far away. its been awhile since ive seen you but its been everyday that i feel you deep within me. You are my soulmate, even if all odds are against us. There was not a moment that i stopped […]
I just finished my college classes and I’m in vacation now.
I called up my old friends but none of them wanted to hangout.. So I’m not going to insist.
I just wanted to have some sort of fun before I start classes again this summer. Which is in like 13 days.
It just sucks that I have no friends to hangout with or share my interest with.
And I constantly ask myself, is there something wrong with me? Because it seems like I just can’t keep friends or make them.
Anyways people aren’t What they used to be.
I remember having so many friends that actually cared about me but […]
Everyone at my home attacked me today.
Why? well lets just start with my mother.
So lately she’s been really mean to me for no reason. You’re probably thinking that it must of been for something, but no no reason at all. She says things to me like “i wish i never had you”, “you are pathetic and worthless”, “you’re a female dog” etc…
And what i do is walk away or ignore her.
Ok lets move on to my father. if i try to emotionally connect with anyone is my dad but he always pushes me away. example, “i don’t want to hear it”, […]
The only two friends that i have in college do not speak to me anymore.
I really liked them as my friends and i build a great friendly relationship with them but I’ve been noticing some strange behavior from them.
My two friends are guys and i’m a girl.
Anyways, we are all in the same class and I’ve been noticing that when i have a conversation with one of them- the other walks away.
And For example- we wrote a script individually for the class we are in and i asked both of them to be in it and one of them ask me […]
so I don’t know but I think I’m going insane.
I can’t sleep well at night; I have terrors and wake up tired.
And today I got and F on my test; which is so so weird because I studied hard and when I took it I felt really good about it. I thought I aced it.
And on top of that my ex is sending me horrible emails. ( I’ve been not responding because I just don’t want him in my life). He’s saying horrible mean things to me. Which is really random and just plain mean. Idk why he’s doing that.
I don’t […]
ive been working my ass off day and night, 7 days a week non stop. It has lead me to a place of isolation from my friends and family. So i get up today and go to this school thing for a project and I came home at 5pm- and at this time i hvent ate anything and was feeling sick from exhaustion . so im in the kitchen and theres nothing to eat. i ask my dad for 5 bucks to got get a sandwich or something and this is where i get confused.
-He tells me, why the fuck would i give you […]
can i talk to someone?
I feel like shit. I went out on a date with a man 13 years older than me and all he wanted to do was touch me and kiss me. I didnt let him, as a matter of fact I walked away from him and went home. He treated me like an object. Anyway, I come home and my sister tells me “please dont get upset but our sister in law was flirting with your ex fiance”. I didnt say much i just brushed it off. but my ex fiance was my first love, and i have always loved him till this day and its […]
i was accepted to Stanford.
everyone is happy.
So why not me?
pressure pressure pressure
I don’t want to go to medical school.
I don’t want to live other people’s expectations, dreams, morals.
So
i
left.
Heading towards Oregon and I’ve never felt so free.
Ive been suicidal my whole life.
All I wanted was freedom and it was waiting for me right outside my door this whole time.
I finally listened to my instincts and went against odds.
The only thing I want to say to people who are unhappy- is just to do what’s makes you happy on your our own means.
follow your instincts.
Im free
and so the adventure begins.
I was hanging in the bathroom by my neck 20 min ago and my legs went numb. I wasnt strong enough, so I let my self down. I’m a 23 year old women and I’m in college. I am very alone. I don’t like to express myself emotionally because I tried it before but no one understood me. Sometimes I wonder if there’s anyone out there who feels like no one in the world understands you- who feels alone. I don’t know where to go or where to turn. I feel suffocate- stuck in a corner- always pretending everything is alright. But I’m tired and […]