I never felt so much pysical pain in my life. It was terrible. I felt like cutting the pain away. It was horrible i was in tears i couldnt bare the pain much longer. It hurt it really hurt. It felt like i was going insane talking to myself. How could any single being could go through that much. It still hurt now it might get worst tomorrow. But at least now…i dont have to deal with it everyday.
SuicideKillMe
I’m so scary. I am living in fear every single day. I always scary to get out of bed or even out my room. Is this how im supposed to feel? This emotion distress calling out for help. Screaming to my body that it needs to lose more weight or binge once and awhile. I cant even feed myself right anymore. I have lost control of everything. I dont deserve to live much longer. Oh dont let your emotions take over you to fucking late now. I dont know what i can conqure much longer. I have lost my self respect for myself now. I […]
My friend knew that i want to kill myself.And i know he wants to do the same. He made me promise to not kill myself which my stupid self agree too. Today we were talking about birthdays and junk. Then i told him and all the other people who was there;” I want to be like William Shakespeare. Die on my birthday.” One of them laugh thinking it was some kind of joke when i was being serious then i came out and said.”Im thinking of ending my life on my birthday.” He yell and told me to keep my fucking promise. But i just […]
I cant stand my family. Why the fuck would you want to play some fucking music loud in the moring when people are still sleep. They can play music in their rooms or in the basement. Why do they piss me off so much. One of the reason why i want to die so i dont have to deal with them. Why cant they leave me alone by myself so i can sleep. What happen to my freedom? Thats right it fucking die a long time ago. Thanks alot you guys i totally cant wait to die so i dont have to worry about seeing […]
http://teensuicidetalk.com/?p=143
i find this very interesting, It really grab my attenion. I self harm myself by scratching deep into my back till it leaves marks on my back. It may hurt but i dont care.I just though i might share it with you guys.
Binging and Binging And Binging on food. What the fuck is wrong with me. I hate myself. I cant even controll myself.I need to stay away. I need to fade away. I dont want to live like this. But for now… im just a binger.
Thats how i feel right now weak. Im not strong like i used to be. I feel so weak i could be sick. Its not sane. Its not at all. Im starting to give up eating cause i dont have the strength to pick up a fork. I weight 113 pounds and i still feels fat. I probably wont eat tomorrow. Who knows what might enter mine mouth the next day. I dont eat breakfast. I barely eat lunch. And im starting to lose the feeling of eating dinner. What is wrong with me? Why has my eating habits change. I get in trouble for […]
Painful Tears
Hurtful Thoughts
Dying Nights
Killer Victims
Walking Freaks
across the street.
Loud Preachers
screaming in my ears.
Supporting Friends
who dont understand.
It seems like
im being punish
Praying to God
whom i ask for frogiveness.
What words…
will stab me
till i have interal bleeding.
When will the darkness
surround my every being.
Will i have my eyes open
to see another day
Or my eyes close
to see the internal night
forever…
Now… there isnt really anything to say anymore.No words nor emotion.Suicide… you haunt me like an ghost. Moaning and fearing me.I guess these days… there isnt really anything to talk about anymore.
I have this headache. It feels like someone used a huge hammer and hit me as hard as they can against my head. I dont feel to well. I feel like i need to vomit or something. Tears nothing but tears. Not from the pain. Not from the sufferage. Its.. i just dont know. Oh why does this headache not killing me to death. I just have the urge to stab myself repeatly with a knife. I just want to bleed out that red. I dont know when but i really want to die. I just… dont know what to do anymore. Rip out my […]
What happen to me. Where have i gone to. Should i scream it out that i need help. Or shake and coward in fear till i kill myself. Must i hide my problems from everyone. Everyone who doesnt understand. Shaking in fear. Do i need to take a break? Do i need to go somewhere fat away from everyone here. Find somewhere to breath and be happy from my fucking life. What i think of myself: I’m a Screw up. Worthless. Loser Useless. Pathetic. Scum. Why i think these things. Why am i like this. I cant live like this i just can’t. Lets just […]
If these hands
are able to write words
on this simply piece of paper,
it should be able
to end my life easily.
If a murder can kill
with the hands that was created
then maybe my useless hands
can pop pills in my mouth
having my legs drag me
down the hall and into the bathroom.
If my hands can turn things
it should be able
to turn the water on.
I want to be able
to hold a bottle of pain killers
without shaking it out my hand.
Climbing in with no ounce of regret
everything thrown off my shoulders
as my bottle […]
Razors pain you
Rivers are damp
Acids stain you
and drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren’t lawful
Nooses give
Gas smell awful;
You might as well live.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
found that on youtube thought i would share it.
Depression
i can not fight it.
Suicide…
i can not conqure it.
Why dont we go
play in traffic
hopefully get hit by a car.
Lets be like wizards
and mix dangerous household
products together.
Lets drink it
like it’s juice or tea.
We can go outside and jump rope
till we hang ourselves in the trees.
Wouldn’t that be fun
bleeding on the ground
twitching and gaging on the kitchen floor
or just dangle from the trees
letting the neighbors gasp in shock.
Im not a sick person
All i ever wanted to do…
is kill myself.
Lies fucking lies! You don’t know whats going to be okay. You dont know at all. Im getting sick and fucking tired of people say everything is going to be okay. Bullshet its not. Just walk in my shoes and see if everything is okay. Stop trying that you understand cause i find that very unlikely.I dont wanna hear oh just have to wait or oh its just a phase and like oh every will get better. If everything will get better where is it cause i don’t fucking see it. Oh its just takes time. Yea right by the time i see it i […]
What i think about myself. I am a complete screw up. I screw everything up. I am pathetic who has no right to live at all. I dont want people in mine lives. They will end up leaving.I can’t accept it anymore. I don’t want anymore friends. I don’t even want to meet new people either. I sick of your sympathy. You just don’t understand. Why do i even bother trying anymore. Nothing will change. I will always be the same fat pig who doesnt want to be bother with sympathy or friends no longer. I’m planning on drowning, Hyperothermia, or overdoesing. Just as long […]
Led Zeppelin-Stairway to Heaven This is what i want playing at my funeral. Its perfect and i love this song i could play it all day.
“Im sick of your depression its getting on my nerves” The same words my mom said to me. I cant fucking help it mother. If i tell you whats wrong me you wouldn’t understand. You dont know what im going through. I’m sick of life, im sick of fucking church, and im sick of this family. I am ready to go. Im just going to drown myself in cold water or just sit there till i get hypothermia.Which ever gets me dead first i dont really care.
My skin. So fragile and easy to cut up.It covers the nakeness that i feel behind my bones. Suddenly these days. I just dont want it. I just want to tear up every skin cell i got. Every strange noise i here or if something happens i just scratch deep in my back. Just last week i found a black scar behind my shoulder blade. I didn’t know it cause something like that but guess what? i dont care i really dont care. Skin is skin it will repair its own self. Just some of these days i just dont want it. I want it […]
Ugh is suicide driving me to the edge. Did it just tied me up and push me off the cliff. Do i hate myself that bad that suicide is overpowering me. I crave the feeling of death. I crave the feeling that i wouldnt have to be here anymore. I know God wouldnt want this, but God doesnt know what i want. God doesnt understand how i feel. If Gid was so mightly he would had been there to help me conqure this. But where is her? Nowhere he is not here. They say he is everywhere. If he is everywhere he could help me […]