i dont feel good i dont feel good at all. I want to throw up till the point i will throw up my insides. Why dont i feel good? I barely ate much today and i already sick. I got over a cold a week or two ago and look at me. A complete failure at my own health. God… can you please do me the honors of killing me. As a birthday and christmas present can you please kill me. Im stressing, im depressing, and im tired of living this life. :L I just dont wanna be here much longer than i have. I […]
SuicideKillMe
Next month i want to do it cause well it supposed to be my birthday then and thats how i want to die on my birthday. Lets just say, its a little personal gift for myself. But anyways i have pently of time to do it although my birthday is on fucking fall break i might just do it ealier. But that someonthing that one thing that seems to be holding me back from doing it. That is i die then they will be left here all alone. The reason why im still here is because of him. Although we been together for three months […]
Depression is what i feel right now. Who knew people cant see through my fake mask and emotions. Even when i tell them it seems like its not important. Im just going to hide hide deep into my emotions. I wish my sister wasnt home so i can go hang from a tree. I dont care who i break. Although this wont slove anything at least i wont be here anymore. At least i dont have to go to school much longer. See anyone whom i have gracefully hurt. I dont hav to worry about anything anymore. My life is pointless. I dont deserve anyone […]
I dont find it weird
that i post my personal thoughts
to complete strangers.
I dont find it weird
that i have the urge to cut
Slice or even hang by rope.
I dont find it tragic
that i am willing to be selfish
and finally put my needs first
and take it through my own actions.
Is it strange…
that i am willing to cry
hide from my past
and talk about my suicide.
That i can take a knife
and jab it deep into my arm.
Feeling the pain
and blood slide down my arm.
I dont find it weird
that i am […]
I feel dead. Stab. Caedo even. He change he really change. He hurt me tothe point i was near tears(very very sensitive). All i wanted was an answer but all i got was a stab in the back and a slap against my cheek. I want to hate him. I feel i hate him. But do i truely hate him? I help him through a lot. I never ask for anything in return. He would come to me for anything. I even trust him. But not trust him a lot for things to tell him( never really had any problems back then.) but know he […]
Hello… Are you okay? Do you need some cheering up. Or you just having a difficult time right now? Its okay if you ask me to leave i understand. Why do you always put yourself down? Is your self esteem that low? Do you not like the way you look? Is this the way you always feel? The way you are you look so alone. So empty. So not full of life. Do you want a smile on your face or am i just asking you to much questions. Its okay if your quiet annoy with me. I find myself pretty annoying too. Does it […]
When you become so happy when you meet your favorite person in the world whom you love. On your special three month. Or when the next day you are still happy from that experiences you couldnt help but smile so much. People around you ignoring you but you dont care at all cause you kept thinking about your happy moment. People out there hating you… even though you did nothing wrong. But as the day goes on your happiness was just a memory of what happen in the past. That your emotional feeling you had just died completely with everything else. I guess… thats how […]
So why am i depress? Why do i act like this? I hate life. I fucking hate it. I know i didnt expericen a lot about it but i have enough of it. The people i have see everyday. The bullying that always seem to come around. The stress so much stress. Frustration to the problem i have. What could be possibly better than that. One dead best friend. Invisble to others. The concent question” are you okay?” If i already said im fine why do you need to ask more questions. You dont have to deal or put up with me. I never ask […]
Do you have this feeling where you have to hold everything inside yourself? That you have to keep everything that is uneeded to say with you in your silence. Feeling trap with everything slumping over you shoulders. I dont want to walk with this weight carrying me down. Do i must scream to the world whats weighing me down. Or should i write it down and show my mom how i really feel? Do i feel safe here? who knows i guess not. All day i wanted my pen. I lost my pen. I cant find my pen. I really need my pen. Have i […]
Slowly…
i had to crawl.
My weak arms
the sounding of alarms.
The hot ground
burning my hands.
I can feel the fan
as i reach for it.
The blisters
are like horrible sores.
I can see the people
stare me down.
I can see…
no hands reaching for me.
The sounds of whispering
the sounds of the alarms.
They are loud
against my fragile ears.
I cant crawl faster
i can feel the blood
dripping from my knees.
All i want…
is to stand again.
To see
a helping hand
call out to me.
But all i see…
is the emptiness
of being alone […]
People… some are nice, some are very nosey, some are very complicate and others are back stabbing lying bitches whom i fucking save their lives many times. And what do i get? I stab to the back. After all the times i fucking help them fucking listen to their stupid problems fucking drift them away from suicide and i get two TWO! back stabs to the back. I didnt have to help them if i didnt want to. They could be possiblly be dead right now if i didnt. But what do i see in my eyes right now. FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FUCKING FAKE! […]
I just wat to grab a knife and stab myself repeatly in the chest. Grab a scraper and scrap ever dead flesh i call my skin. Go down into my basement and grab an extension cord go outside(its like dark here btw) and just go hang myself. I am through with life. I am through of feeling this sort of emotional pain. I would go cut right now if i had the oppritunity. But you know what, i will be selfish and take the cowardly way out. I will do some good for the world for once and end my life for good. If its […]
Have you ever feel so depress that you feel like you are dead? That you cant continue on anymore than you have now. That every minute your typing this your just wondering? Does anyone really care what i write how i feel and what i want. That feeling you are just going jump off the edge of never coming back but you end up waking up in a hospital with your family there seeing you in this condition or your friends finding out what you had done. Or be one of the lucky ones that had finally achieve what they wanted and that you just […]
Well yesterday was an horrible day. It was the day i found out my best friend died and i wore all black for him. Got sent to guidence where they knew i was going to commit suicide and they knew my plan. Send my mom to the office telling them everything. Offer calling the criss center and now i had a criss person in my home trying to help me :L. Now its today im stuck at home cause i didnt want to go to school and i sitting here thinking is it worth all the trouble to save my life. I just found out […]
i dont want to be here anymore. im done with everything that comes around the corner. I can’t stand my family more than the next person. I feel so depress and empty. I dont belong in this world much longer. I want to go grab my extension cord and go hang myself outside. Why do i even try? I ask my friend for help and i havent heard a replied over two weeks. Im just done i dont want anyones help anymore. I will just let them wait for me to be dead. They dont need me anymore im just their fucking slavey that has […]
NEW YORK (Reuters) – The Rutgers University freshman who committed suicide after his roommate spied on his encounter with another man said when he revealed he was gay his mother “completely rejected” him, court documents showed.
Arguing the despair that drove Tyler Clementi to jump to his death from the George Washington Bridge started before he arrived at Rutgers, lawyers for his roommate, Dharun Ravi, said in court documents that criminal charges against their client should be dismissed.
Lawyers for Ravi, now 19 and charged with bullying Clementi for being gay by spying on him with a webcam, say prosecutors presented a distorted and misleading account of […]
Like the title said,”Why do i even try?” I try to get help. No fucking used. They just never replied back. I told my mom about the bullying. What do i get? Support. Is that a bad thing? Not really but all i feel is support no care. Why do i care about people? I dont know i just dont know. Do i get any care? Barely! I just cant feel it anymore. Why do i even try? Why do i try so hard? Since yesterday last night i barely can breath. I barely can breath right now? I just want some extension cord and […]
Have you ever hated yourself so much you just want to put a gun to your head?
When someone is talking or trying to stop you that you feel the hurt feeling not from hurting everyone you just feeling really hurt emotionally not phsyically?
Although you just dont want to drop the gun you get closer and closer from pulling the trigger.
Listening to people’s problems but you just dont really care. You don’t care at all so much you just want to get up and leave?
When was the first time you listen to mine problems? Was it when i was about to talk […]
Greatest song ever! Brings tears to my eyes every time i play it. Thought i just might share it with everyone on here. And also i thought it would be better to play it with the lyrics insted of watching the video. ^ -^ Enjoy.
The help from people is very pain emotionally. I dont get why they would even want to try. Its pointless and a waste of time. It pisses me off at times when people do try to help. Although i was looking for it before, but know i just dont want it. Its like a scare emotion inflicted on your skin. I just want to die so i dont have to worry about life anymore. That i dont need people helping me out anymore. Only one thing is holding me back from offinf myself. I dont know what he sees in me anymore. I dont want […]