So a girl I thought had completely forgotten about me messaged me earlier. She wants to get back together with me, as far as I can tell. Thing is, I’m dating another girl right now. I don’t know what to do. I care about them both, but I don’t know what to do anymore. Any ideas? If you want more context I’ll give it as asked, just please, I need advice and the person I’d normally go to died in a car crash seven months ago.
I’m so stupid. So fucking stupid. I graze a car with my truck while I’m pulling into a parking spot at my school. I immediately tell the principal and confess to it. Next thing I know I’m being told it could cost $300 but I have the money to pay that easy so I’m not too worried. I go a few days without worrying about it. I come back from the long weekend and the guy whose truck I grazed (he’s a friend of mine) tells me it could cost 1000$. I’m stressed, but I can pay most of that and handle it without too […]
My baby sister was born today, cute little thing. Maybe she’ll be a reason to keep on living, all I know is that I’m going to do my best to be an okay brother to her. Probably bribe her with kick ass presents when she’s older.
Pretty self explanatory, isn’t it? She died in a car crash. There were two other people in the car, but she’s the only one that died. Now I don’t know what I’ll do. Dying’s out, that’d be a slap in the face to her memory. Right now I’m just broken and listening to songs that remind me of her. If you have any suggestions I’ll be happy to take them.
Her head rises and falls with each breath I take, and perhaps it’s fitting considering the fact that without her I might never have taken those breaths. Her long, dirty blonde hair is pulled back in a simple braid, and I’m eternally grateful. It allows me an uninterrupted view of her beautiful face, which I have grown to so adore. I feel I am unworthy of having this beauty at such close hand, and to have it all to myself is incomprehensible. Her lips draw my eyes and I remember the feeling of pressing mine against them. The way that it felt as though the […]
In the beginning there was darkness, and that seemed like all there would ever be. Then something amazing happened. A massive burst of light lit up all of existence while simultaneously creating it. In my case, the darkness would be my life. Not chaos, and there was no pain, but there was nothing to light it up, nothing to justify its existence. Then she came into my life, and it all became clear. I no longer feared the depths of myself, and I felt like the invisible hand that seemed to crush me from all sides loosened its grip. It was pure randomness, chaos that […]
I know, I know, big fuckin’ surprise coming from me. Not like I’ve posted stuff about a few different girls a few billion times the past year or so. Honestly it’s getting stale isn’t it? ‘Course I spice it up with a bit of shitty writing chucked in there too, but mostly it’s girls, girls, girls. Where’s the depression, the suicide, the goddamn anxiety!? If I felt like being a smartass I’d say it’s all in my head, and that’d be true enough, but on the subject of me being slightly off topic of what this site has set out to do, it’s hidden in […]
She’s lying on the bed, her hair fans out from her head. She looks beautiful when seems to not be trying to impress anybody, and is existing and living for her own sake. Those bright blue eyes that I could get lost in for hours are staring intently at her eyelids. They drink in the darkness that surrounds them while light streaks across her vision like miniature shooting stars. A fireworks show for her, and her alone. The hair I touched upon earlier is a dirty blonde color, and when you see it you want nothing more than to see her casually playing with it, […]
I’ve not been the greatest lately, and I haven’t paid nearly enough attention to all you wonderful people on this site. I don’t recognize half of your names, makes me feel old. Nonetheless, this site is for the suicidal, and I guess I can be counted among their number. I want to die, hell, not a day goes by that I don’t want to stick a gun in my mouth and paint the walls around me red. Thing is, I can’t do that. There are people out there that would die if I committed suicide, and I can’t let that happen. I don’t give a […]
Things
I have done terrible things
Things to make you shiver in the dark
Things that make even my own skin crawl
I want them back, to take them away
I hurt others, so badly I cry
It wasn’t me! I scream
It was them! I can’t help it!
Please, you have to believe me
The things that lie in wait
To rip me apart
To make me rend and tear
As they watch
It’s the demons that lurk beneath the skin
The ones only freed by razors
Death is to begin again
Right?
They beg me to stay
I beg them to let me leave
I don’t want to hurt you anymore
I don’t want to make you bleed
No you must stay
You must endure
You […]
Eyes that one could get lost in for hours, they bring warmth to any that look in them, regardless of the glasses she wears. The hazel color comforts you as you drink in her beauty, letting you be somebody that you thought was long gone. Her long, dark hair is manipulated so that it doesn’t interrupt the vision before us, but it is beautiful in its own right. Long and dark, it cascades down her back and moves gracefully with each slight movement of her body. She is tall, which one grows to appreciate, for it gives the eye more to drink in. The eye […]
I’m going to keep this short, sweet, and unrelated to the norm. I want to write, and normally I don’t ask if it’s a good or bad idea. I generally just do it and say fuck the consequences, but this time is a little different. As you all can guess, it’s about a girl, and it’s complicated. First, a little update on how romance has been going in my life. The girl that has caused me so much sorrow and heartache has officially been given up on, and I have moved on. Now that’s out of the way, straight to why this shit be complicated […]
Yours truly: Hey! Everybody shut up for a second!
rocketman: No you shut up!
Moi: Who gave him alcohol? Goddammit! Was it you Hazy?
Hazy just gives thelost a sly look that clearly admits her guilt
Hazy: Certainly not me!
Myself: Uh-huh, I’m sure. Either way, I have something to say folks! It’s Christmas soon, and it’s a special time for me, even though I may not necessarily be Christian. Christmas is about seeing those you love and miss, and there’s nobody I’d rather spend it with.
rocketman: (slurring slightly) I love you too man!
Me: Good for you buddy! Now, to seal the Christmas spirit I thought we’d have Hazy perform […]
A Beast
A beast with a silver tongue
A heart of fool’s gold
A body covered in scars
A mind full of pain
Lies hidden behind pretty words
Pain hidden behind false smiles
Eternal loneliness
These are what the beast lives with
The darkness questions
Where’s your strength
How dare you feel this way
What gives you the right
The darkness says he deserves it
Maybe he does
After what he has done
Does he deserve forgiveness
His soul cries out
Begs for the darkness to leave
Anything, as long as it will leave
The darkness only digs in deeper
Escape is all he wants
There is only one way
It is to lie down in a coffin
And that’s the way the beast likes it
I Don’t Know How […]
I can’t help but want to scream when the memories of this day flash through my mind, as if they were not memories, but annoyed spirits. They fly around inside of my head, touching every aspect of my mind, looking for the slightest excuse to gain control and make my life a living hell. They seem to be a sentient thing, a personality outside, and yet within, myself. Made specifically to destroy me, and gruesomely efficient at their work. Perhaps, if they truly are sentient, they enjoy their work, and that is where their almost deadly determination and efficiency originates from.
They hurt by reminding […]
Make me hurt
Scratch and tear at my mind
Come on, I actually want it this time
Where are you when I need you?
Rip my heart apart
Why not
WHY NOT
Why not, you bastard
I’m begging for it
I want it
I need it
Give it to me
How dare you abandon me
When you’ve been my faithful companion for so long
You
The one thing that has always been there
You liar
You said you’d never leave
I believe you
You’ll never leave
You Goddamn monster
You’re fucking sick
Does it please you
To watch me bleed on the ground
I loved you once
I think we all do
Then we hate you
We wish you dead
You’re deep inside of me
The only way you’ll die is if I do
And […]
It’s Hard
It’s hard, nearly impossible, to describe the way one feels when they are with her. It cannot be grasped from a single emotion or moment in time, but comes from knowing her. How when you talk to her, you can be honest, but you cannot be ignorant. Or the little jokes and common things that always seem to be there. A humor with the occasional sadistic twist. Difficulty to make her smile, even in the best of times. Her insistence on making everyone wear a seatbelt in her car, no matter what the distance may be. Something that isn’t quite being cold, but isn’t […]
Things
I have done terrible things
Things to make you shiver in the dark
Things that make even my own skin crawl
I want them back, to take them away
I hurt others, so badly I cry
It wasn’t me! I scream
It was them! I can’t help it!
Please, you have to believe me
The things that lie in wait
To rip me apart
To make me rend and tear
As they watch
It’s the demons that lurk beneath the skin
The ones only freed by razors
Death is to begin again
Right?
They beg me to stay
I beg them to let me leave
I don’t want to hurt you anymore
I don’t want to make you bleed
No you must stay
You must endure
You […]
There they are, all of the muses I’ve taken recently. God, what I’d give to not see this. What I’d give to forget them all and move on with life.
Little_Old_Me with her auburn hair, beautiful face, and lips I’d kill to kiss again. Sammi6xoxo, her tall, slender, frame with those eyes I write about so often.
Little_Old_Me.
She’s sitting on the curb. Right now she’s not wearing very heavy clothes, it’s still a warm Iowa summer and there’s no need. The long, auburn, hair I’ve grown to so admire is tied up right now. Beauty embodied. The slight curvature of her jaw, not too sharp, which […]
Hey you! Yeah you! Wanna know something before I continue on with this thing? You don’t? Well piss off, I’m doing it anyways. This is going to include more than just her, it’s going to be myself as well. Maybe a deviation from my usual style, but maybe that’s a good thing.
Her hair is pulled behind her hair in some sort of braid. It rests perfectly behind her neck and trails down the back of her blue shirt. She’s ignoring me right now, but that’s okay. At the moment she’s manning the register and she’s doing something that I’m confused just looking at. This menial […]
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