Chronic Pain


Life painfully worse than death seems like hell

  July 31st, 2015 by Lifeahell


There are endless problems in my life and my life really seems like hell. I am tired of my life.

The problems are physically, mentally and socially troubling me continuously, all the time. Earlier I was a simple person living an ordinary life. I was physically somewhat less healthy. But rest things were going normal. But then chronically painful things happened later. Once during my holidays, I joined a swimming pool. It was only after a few days that I felt something wrong in my ears, as if they were blocked, perhaps water got trapped into them. There was a serious ear infection which painfully lasted …

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Coping Resources…what coping resources??

So, hi all, I’m new here.  That sentence in itself sounds whack enough to qualify me to be here, eh?  I was reading the Read This First – Actively Suicidal subsection & noted how well it applied to me.  I feel that my coping resources are next to nil.  Never had good ones, but with […]


It was going to be today…

  July 30th, 2015 by disgusting

Last weekend I decided on today to be the best day to kill myself. It made a lot more sense than 7/2/15 because I didn’t see a connection in those numbers. But I like, and do like, how 11/30/77 to 7/30/15 looks and sounds. I’m a bit of a numbers freak, so dying on the same day of the month is appealing, along with the connection between my birth year (two 7’s) and it being the 7th month. Close enough. Like I said, I’m a numbers freak and I pay crazy attention to numbers. But what stopped me???? ….

I was (and do still) feel so …

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Protected: How will I know when I’m not here anymore?

  July 29th, 2015 by Tristeza

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Onision – Now very Unsure

  July 28th, 2015 by lulereign

I really don’t know what to feel about myself at the moment. I’m not sure how to word this, but I just go ahead anyway. I’ve recently been watching Onision videos since he popped out on my Recommended List.

I checked out his videos on cutting on a whim, and frankly speaking, he’s super blunt. I’m not going to lie, the way he says it all, about how cutting is ‘attention whoring’, and that cutters are ‘stupid, and crazy’ kinda hit me hard. He says that I should be grateful that I have a roof over my head and a good education and all the opportunities …


Desperate for Exit

  July 27th, 2015 by gillybuff

Please can someone let me know (even privately) of the reputable suppliers of ******** given in PPH? I have very little money, have been in chronic pain, and feel it’s time to go. Please someone out there give me the advice I need. I don’t have the time or money for Dignitas.


Gill x



  July 25th, 2015 by XxNameGoesHerexX

A Poem Written by Myself.

The Itch


I have this itch.

It lives inside me

and I don’t know

why it stays.


I have this itch.

It burns my skin,

and I don’t know

how it stops.

I have this itch.

It sheds my blood,

and I don’t know

why  I’m doing this.


I have this itch.

It’s around my neck,

and I know exactly

how I got here.



I wish i was good enough

  July 25th, 2015 by disgusting

I wish being good to him was enough. I wish giving everything I have to give was enough. I wish loving and adoring him were enough. I wish it wasnt all about looks and money. I wish I could be the one to worship him. I wish I counted. I wish he believed my love was real instead of desperation as he thinks it is. I wish he weren’t superficial at all. I wish I didn’t have to be without him. He thinks it’s unhealthy to love just one person… and I don’t think it’s anything close to love to want a dozen or more …


Sometimes YOU have to be the “Change” …

  July 22nd, 2015 by Dawg

… and it’s true.

I was just told this by my GF after she ran through the checklist of all my failures and shortcomings. As if I was completely unaware and aloof of how utterly fucked I am and have been for the last few years. Now, I’m sure she means to somehow motivate me or in some other way try to light a fire under my ass to somehow ferret my way to at least a treading water type of existence in some clever way – she’d be ecstatic if I could manage that.

What’s funny (ironic/weird type funny … and in a twisted way funny ha …


Empaths. a Blessing or a Curse. a Gift or a Burden.

  July 21st, 2015 by Nova

I consider myself to be an Empath. You might be one too.  It’s been extremely difficult to live and function in a society where people don’t really have empathy so it’s hard for them to really feel what somebody else is going through. And that’s why so many people are ruthless and cutthroat, you know. Being and Empath is like having a finely tuned ‘Bullshit’ Lie-Detector.  It’s really strange to have the ability to really feel what other people are feeling because I don’t know how to handle and cope with it. Now, staying away from strangers is easy enough; I just don’t go outside …


Idk what to do.

  July 19th, 2015 by Lostman101

This is my first post so bear with me if i make a mistake. My name is Curtis, Im 14 year old male and this is my story. My parents split when i was 3 and i never thought much about it and when i reached Grade 4 my dad came back into my life. I was so happy i couldn’t believe it i missed him so much. After a year and a bit it was October of my Grade 5 yead and it was my weekend to see my father. When i arrived i went to my room to sleep cuz it was late …


Nope, can’t do it

Nope, can’t do it

  July 18th, 2015 by heragain

I don’t know how or where to start. Suffered from depression as long as I can remember. Meds help, but only to a point. I thought I had found a semi-happy medium. A 13 months ago my husband of 24+ years came out as transgender. No, I didn’t have any clue. Now, I have been to hell and back with this person. They are an alcoholic, they have been mentally abusive to me, and physically a few times. But we raised a wonderful son, who means the world to me. I have had fibromyalgia for a bit more than 20 years now, and it has …


I am done…

  July 17th, 2015 by CarsonS

I have had the worst life so far I am 12 years old my name is Carson I am a smart kid but my parents treat my like complete s**t and I am ready to die I can take any of this anymore my goal was to be a youtuber because that got me of of these thoughts it no longer works my parents got into a divorce and still treat me worse and my brother abuses me 24/7 I also did not mention I am bullied all the time. I have no Clue what should I do guys?




I have a lot of things that run through my mind. Things I can not explain. My dreams haunt me. My goals are just false hopes. My life is a mess. I hate my life even though, I know others have it worse. This makes me feel guilty. The guilt I have always lived with. […]


So many beautiful souls here

  July 15th, 2015 by Dorothy Gale

and it’s so painful to see you in such despair.

That this must be our cross to bear, what brings us together as perfect strangers. The black dog on our shoulder. Wish it could be anything else for all of us.

I spent all night last night reading through posts and comments. When I came in I was crying for myself, hoping not to feel the end of my rope once more. I went to bed crying for others, hoping they can somehow find their way back up their rope, and if not, that they can find in death the peace they so crave and deserve. I …


When One Was Desolate

  July 15th, 2015 by theunknownxx

I’m getting tired of seeing people writing down that they are going to commit suicides and look at the comments and seeing people say “good luck” “hope everything works” “never apologize, wish you luck”
Do you guys have any compassion or sympathy or even care about these guys??? Come on! It doesn’t matter if you know them or not. Stop them! Save a life for once, their life had meaning and you know it! Don’t just look away, they are hurting and are empty, be that person to encourage them to stop, don’t just read their suicide plan and leave as that, have a heart for …


What I wished I Never Had…

  July 15th, 2015 by theunknownxx

So I guess on this post ill tell you about something that has been wrong me for years. I was diagnosed with cancer at age 7, for about two years I was on radiation and it was hell. I puked alot, I stunted my growth, made me really skinny, and I’m small in body size and it stopped me from doing things I wanted to do. I got picked on for having cancer through my life up until now (18yrs)
Each time I think of it an how it affected me makes me cry so much because I wish I was normal. It’s even hard for …


I just

  July 14th, 2015 by Chandelier203

Wanna cut my arms. Probably not gonna do it though.


All alone

  July 13th, 2015 by disgusting

The guy I love has his life and a ton of friends. I can see how we’re not as close already. I have no one and he doesn’t understand. He honestly thinks he’s been rejected more than I have but I call bullshit because I’m rejected from every damn thing for my looks even for a place to stay! I’ve been told I don’t look human and shouldn’t be allowed outside. I literally am homeless because I’m too ugly for anyone to accept my money as payment for rent. I’m laying on the floor at work for fuck’s sake and it’s the first time I’ve …



  July 13th, 2015 by Polar Bear

Im so scared I dont know what to do……I’ve been in chronic pain now for 10yrs after a car accident made me have to have spine surgery. My life was great until that point……I was in college getting ready to graduate next quarter and I was working for a doctors office doing the work that I was in college for.

After the surgey I was unable to continue with class/work since it was excruciating to sit or stand for long periods of time and I would get horrible spasms and nerve damage caused a lightning type pain to run from my buttox down to my foot.

Well …