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iam tired of being on this earth…is anyone else?
It doesn’t seem like such a bad thing now. I thought it was. It is not. Suicide is still an option. Not a crazy one. So many other people feel the same way. I don’t feel like it is a bad thing any more. I felt ashamed for it. I probably won’t go screaming it from the roof tops, but it is not abnormal, exactly. Why are so many opposed? The same people that think about it themselves? I have heard that it is selfish. Maybe they just haven’t felt what I feel, what I’ve felt before.
I want to take my life but I am too scared to do it. I’m not scared of what happens after. That part seems more of a comfort than anything else. I am more afraid of the act, of the pain in whatever method I chose or the consequence of failure of the attempt. I’m afraid of ending up a vegetable or worse that the people closest to me actually see me and I have to look them in the eye to answer their questions.
I wish there were clinincs that we could go to. You just walk in, fill out some forms, pass an evaluation […]
I am a hopeless romantic. I see so much beauty in the world, in so many things. I can’t enjoy most of it, but I can see it’s there. One example that may seem a bit odd is jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge. As a jumper in the USA that is the dream. It’s just so perfect. So many people before have done it, and so many more have failed at it. The idea of all of those success’s waiting for you at the bottom. A mere 220 feet to join them. The thought of it is so peaceful. The problem is location. It’s […]
This probably isn’t the best idea, but…
I’ll get straight to the point. I’m doing this because so many people on here don’t have someone they can confide in reliably and honestly, its the same for me. But if you want to, you can email me at misbahq93@gmail.com
I don’t have much of a social life so I’ll try to respond as soon as possible to any emails. Please, if you really need someone, don’t hesitate. I know I’m not much but I’ll try my best to help you out or at least listen to what you have to say…
Helping other people cope with their problems for ages but when it comes to me, they’re never there. I’m a happy person. No I’m not. I don’t know what I am but all I know is that I need help. I can’t go on when I’m this alone. I’ve been strong for too long and now I’m trapped. The happy girl during the day, but crying myself to sleep at night. I just need help… I’m sick of this. I want to go back to being helpful, but when I’m breaking I can’t even stop someone from feeling down? I only want to be happy […]
Everyone in their happy-go-lucky lives ran into me today. “OMG x and I are getting married!”, “I am so excited, I’m going to be a mom in 6 weeks!”, “We’re going away to Rarotonga in a few weeks.” Ugh.
Meanwhile I spent an evening lying on my shower floor crying.
I want to die. All I can think about is that, and how I have no friends (save for a few I have online), how I have never had a boyfriend (except for an online one), how I won’t ever be able to make friends or get a boyfriend in real life, how I’ve been sitting around the house doing basically nothing ever since I dropped out of school in March, how I won’t be able to start some (online) college classes this semester, how my parents have forever been disappointed in me, how I can’t get a job because I can’t drive yet, how I feel completely unmotivated […]
every time my family talk behind my back,it realy hurt so much,
for a long time even now my famil help me,they support me to….
everyone tinks they are lovely,so do i,i can never except that they have talk behind my back… I cannot let them go..
i used to be a huge cheater,i am a big disgrace,i have had sex with many women,many relationship in my 50 pluss year…of my life,,, i have 3 children,my youngest is 16,
my ex wife an i raised our kids for many years,she wouldn’t give me sex anymore,one day i get angry at her, she takes the kids,but i still get […]
Life at home is Sad. My mom is losing it and all I can do is watch. She’s always had health problems but I didn’t notice the mental ones till I got older. Very forgetful, indecisive, and prone to fits of mental break downs. She has a good heart. But she doesn’t have the strength or funds to raise my baby bro. I’m afraid of his future.
I made the choice to join the Corps to better my life, maybe “die for my country” while I’m at it. I made it through training and felt on top of the world. I thought the way my mom […]
First time I tried to kill myself, I was 16. I overdosed and was hospitalised. I was raped and bullied. I left hospital and ignored calls from the police.
For the next five years, I felt myself losing a sense of who I was. A straight-A, goody two shoes, quit college (UK meaning of the word). I started over, but skipped school a lot. I ended up getting two As and a B at A Level. I got into a good university to study law, but I think they just wanted my money from international fees. I got a 2:1 with honours, but by the scrape […]
Today was the first day of my senior year, and I’m already having problems. Freshman and sophomore year were so rough for me, all cause of a stupid boy who ruined everything for me. As a result of our rocky breakup and all the drama that came with it, I started cutting. Then I started taking pills at night at first just anything for me to pass out, but that just progressed to taking as much as I can for a more lasting affect.. I was put on a 51/50 and stayed in a mental facility for 3 days. A few months after that I […]
Coming up on that date, August 30th, that night last year when I should have (and maybe actually did) die.
I still go back there often not to remember that night but for other reasons unrelated.
So what has happened in a year? I believe I am here for a reason. I found out some people care, some don’t. Overall, I could still be happy leaving this world,, although I have found someone to love, and someone I know loves me, which makes things different in a […]
I love you
But I cannot be with you
I love you
But I cannot hold you
I love you
But I am so far away
I love you
But I am not strong enough to stay
I love you
But it’s been so long since I’ve seen you
I love you
But you seen to be attempting to elude my mind
I love you
But my memories are fading
I love you
But the day has turned to night
I love you
But the sunlight’s hidden behind the moons shadow
I love you
But I can no longer linger amongst the living
I love […]
Death has been on my mind for quite some time now. a few years ago I never would have utter the words wanting to die, just let me be able to kill myself. now the words just come so easy and i just feel like I am getting so close to the edge. I think it is a possibility that I will have the strength to do it. Everyday is something new that just keeps adding to the pile of shit that is already on top of me. I feel so worthless like nothing I do matters. Nobody has time for me when I need […]
I am 18 years old, I am a recovering intervenes drug addict , I was shooting up morphine and oxy cotton when I was 16 resulting in shooting up heroine at 17 , just months ago I came to Nova Scotia to become sober , in all honesty I travelled from one province to another to make some money selling my ass for some cash, it turned bad and I ended up showing on my Aunts doorstep , strung out begging not to send me back to newfoundland. where the depth of my addiction began , Eventually things began to change around here , I would […]
So g-ma was batshit crazy mommy is batshit crazy now turns out the star child is batshit crazy too but I’m too smart to try and die like mommy and too many people know my name for me to disappear like mommy wanted me to. I got left twice before daddy stepped in and at least I have a room to be left in. Lucky for me another she came along and we ended up going to the same schools. I used to cut a lot and it felt so good but she hates it so I got on my knees and promised her I […]
I’m a Monster, I’m a Machine.
Do I absorb the souls of the animals whose flesh I feast upon daily?
Do I suffer for what I made them suffer?
Do they drag me down for the horror they endured so bravely?
They were all victims, now I am another.
I tell them I’m but a factory and they are my fossil fuel.
Their response tells me they’re not amused.
When I chew their flesh, I know I’m being cruel.
Hello everybody. I really hate alot of things about myself. I recently discovered that I’m transsexual. I’m an 18 year old attending college to get a mechanical engineering degree. I feel like if I transition I’m going to destroy everything I worked for because I heard that workplaces just hate hiring transgender people. I also feel like if I transition I’m going to end up still looking manly due to being fat, acne ridden and hairy. I am also half black and from what I researched and understand black male to female transgender people don’t transition well. And to make things worse I’m not able […]
so i burned myself the other day feel like doing it again cause im not satisfied with the amount of damage.school is also tommorow dont know why im trying again at something im bound to fail at.I want to do good but you cant live in the world if you dont want to live in the world.
I do have good reasons for wanting to leave.My whole family is alive and i dont want to watch them die in the next ten years.I want things to like pause forever and the only way i can do that is by dying.this world is crazy nobody is […]