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I dream

by thecount
written by thecount

I have suffered from depression for decades along with addictions etc. In the early 90’s, at my last re-hab
without any warning I began to write poetry. It just came to me. It seemed effortless. Fast forward to Robin Williams suicide, the medias response, such as what did he have to be depressed about? That is such a selfish act, prompted me to jump into the fray. I KNOW what the feeling is like that killing yourself is the only way to stop the unbearable pain. So I posted one of my poems on Facebook. Last night I spoke with my sister, who told me […]

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I’m 20 years old. This is my goodbye letter.

by deadford34
written by deadford34

if you’re reading this it’s because I finally found the strength to do what I have threatened and wanted for so long. Think what you want, that I’m a coward or I’m weak. I can’t handle the thoughts or the pain of this. She was my entire world and my savior. I fucked it all up. I can’t forgive myself. I can’t forget. I can’t move on. I can never love someone else and now the only one who truly loved, accepted, and knew me is gone because of me. I don’t understand how she can move on. I can’t stand the thought of her […]

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my early years

by heliumhood
written by heliumhood

There is always one moment in childhood, when the door opens and lets the future in. – Graham Green.
I can remember a moment such as this occurring many times in my own life. Whether it was the kindness of strangers, or in some cases the complete opposite, the cruelness of my family or peers, I can remember so many milestones in my life where I have come to the point where enough is enough, and I have opened that door, seen the future, and attempted to embrace it.
I have always considered myself to be an all or nothing kind of person. Whether […]

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by Namelessqueer
written by Namelessqueer

Feeling overwhelmed, meds are working perhaps but not really. I don’t believe in meds, I’ll take em so i feel like I’m doing something but moving has helped.  I’m in my own place now.  nervous at the cost, nervous at the waste of space that it is to be in a one bedroom or for me to exist.  Anxious that i will fail, always on the verge, always begging for death to pre-empt that so that folks can smile and admire how hard i worked and not how hard i fell.  Nerves getting the best of me. I can’t focus, don’t want to focus. I’m […]

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What do you guys think?

by bornfordying123
written by bornfordying123

I believe life is essentially pointless.

I say this not necessarily because I feel our everyday experiences are void of meaning, but because we are going to inevitably forget all of our experiences, we will have no way of knowing we ever existed; in essence, nothing will have mattered.

It is to my understanding, that this this belief is what fundamentally causes me to be such a calm and reserved individual. Very seldomly does something really get to me, in the back of my mind, I know the clock is ticking to my death, I […]

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To Whomever May Understand

by depressednihilist95
written by depressednihilist95

It seems like all of my life has been predetermined, as if my thoughts and actions are actually beyond my control. It’s like existing without really existing. It sucks because no matter what I do, I feel that I am not doing it. I sometimes feel like life is just a movie with sentience included. That’s depressing, because all of the pain that I feel is much like an illusion. Perhaps I’m not feeling pain, but I am experiencing a set of physiochemical processes taking place that make me think that I am feeling something, when ultimately, I am no more alive than a rock. […]

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Young age…

by Anonymous9320
written by Anonymous9320

Im not lying when I am saying I was a young age. I was in a grade between 1st and 3rd. Living in a trailer park with a few younger siblings, one being an infant. My dad and mom broke up a while back, and the boyfriend she had at the time is scary and mean that is also the father of my 2 sisters and brother. I remember when I was a kid my dad used to make me go to church.  With me brainwashed into the religion every night before I went to bed I cried to god praying that he would take […]

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She didn’t exist

by TishToshTash89
written by TishToshTash89

When I was about 12 – 13 years old (I’m now 24) thought I was gay. I started going on a forum where I met a girl called Serena. I spoke to her every single day, eventually we decided to be girlfriends. Being that age I really felt like I was in love, I loved speaking to her over the net and by text. She’d get me to leave voicemails too, I’d do anything for her. It was so nice finally having someone to talk to, I didn’t have any friends and was always bullied… She made everything so much better.

This carried on for months, […]

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Still Alive Today Unfortunately

by boots95843
written by boots95843

God, Please help me!  I want to leave this life and its hardships and burdens.  I have planned and stopped many times and think about killing myself every day.  I wrote my notes and instructions yesterday. Today I am trying to have new hope and do something to not give in to the end of me. I am 68 years old and extremely depressed, financially bereft and hate my life. I do not want to hurt my children and siblings, but life is so hopeless. I feel humiliated and worthless.  I cannot find work and my husband will not help. We lost our home and […]

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What am I meant to do?

by TishToshTash89
written by TishToshTash89

So… I really don’t know where to start or what I’m even meant to say… My head is so full of racing thoughts that I can’t even work out what the thoughts are, they’re just a complete mess. I don’t want this anymore, I don’t want to live like this. I’ve tried so hard to beat it but I can’t fight anymore, I’m pretty sure fighting with your own mind is impossible anyway? I feel like there’s nothing left to do… I just desperately need to end this, I need to hurry up and do it. I just wish that this guilt wouldn’t stop me/ […]

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is superhero real exist ? are superheroes real exist ? is superpower or magic real exist ? (like in those cool movies, games, comics, novels, books, anime / manga, etc) ? fuck this boring reality / real world / real life !!

by niki
written by niki

is superhero real exist ?
are superheroes real exist ?
is superpower or magic real exist ? (like in those cool movies, games, comics, novels, books, anime / manga, etc) ?
you know, like in those ‘cool’ superhero movies : X-Men (X Men), Superman, Thor, Spiderman, Iron man, Captain America, or in those ‘cool’ fantasy / sci-fi (sci fi, science fiction) movies : Harry Potter, Narnia, Lord of the Rings, Avatar, TRON, or games like Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, etc etc ..

otherwise, fuck this boring reality / real world / real life !!

I hate reality, I hate life , I hate this very *LIMITED* & […]

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The Rope

by KissOfDeath
written by KissOfDeath

I don’t understand what you’re expecting of me,

your needs a bottomless pit.

Just because you don’t understand these feelings,

doesn’t make me a misfit.

I don’t wish you to understand,

this mind, it’s my own personal hell.

I’m scribbling down my note written in my own twisted fate,

hoping no one remembers to tell.

The rope, hung ever so delicately,

my last and final hope.

The knocking on my door loudens,

as my body begins to mope. 

 

 

 

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New Member: New Confession

by Avalanche
written by Avalanche

You ignorant fool
Why do I love someone like you so much?
Why so long?
I just can’t be around you anymore
Because I know there’s someone you care about
More than I
You don’t love me anymore

And yet those moments when I can touch you
And hold you
You still hold my hand
In those moments
You’re mine again

And I suppose it’s sad
That the moments I feel the most loved by you
Are those times when you hit me around
And choke me
And call me names
That’s when I feel your affection most
Like maybe nothing has changed
When I know it […]

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I don’t know

by hopeisontheway
written by hopeisontheway

I honestly believe I live a privileged life. My parents have wealthy paying jobs, and I am able to go to a very nice high school. Nothing awful besides the deaths of my loved ones, and regular crappy teenage drama has happened in my life. I’m lucky. I’ve never been abused or assaulted, but I’m still sad. I was briefly bullied in middle school, but who hasn’t been in their own way? No matter how many incredible things happen in my life, I somehow fall back into a dark place. I have periods where I am so happy, and then I have times where I […]

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Session 20: The noise they call life

by R3T31D
written by R3T31D

The more you look back at it, the more it becomes clear.  The chaos in the way everything around you moves, breathes, exists and ultimately vanishes into the void.  I’m sort of glad I found this place, I wasn’t sure a thing like this would exist.  I’ve been cutting so many ties lately, well, is still tough to linger as you start the preparations.  I think it was a good idea to set a counter, so I’ll start with 20.  I’ll post 20 things in here before I can manage to successfully be one with the nothingness and have the sweet embrace of everlasting silence.

I […]

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my story

by midobarca
written by midobarca

One day i was thinking to kill myself because i was feeling so bad.

I had a failure love story ,she is engaged now.One day was attending her sister’s wedding then i saw her dancing with her fiance .. i felt so sad 🙁 when i saw them.these days my father was facing problems in his work and his financial situation wasn’t good.I’m a student and i don’t have a job to help him.I felt like a loser in this life i lost my girl and i can’t help my father.I was feeling i’m useless so i had an idea to stop my suffering it was […]

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Anyone else committing suicide to be escape the world

by cookietherookie
written by cookietherookie

I’m afraid of life and all the terrible things that can happen to me. My two worst fears right now are (1)being raped and getting pregnant and (2)being paralyzed from the neck down. I don’t really get that much satisfaction from living anyway. I love the guarantee of peace that death brings. Honestly, i jaunt want to escape the world. I don’t see the point in going through the motions of life when I can just end my miserable existence as soon as possible.

I plan on ending my own life as soon as I get my hands on some sleeping pills and have the house […]

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my early life 1

by heliumhood
written by heliumhood

There is always one moment in childhood, when the door opens and lets the future in. – Graham Green.
I can remember a moment such as this occurring many times in my own life. Whether it was the kindness of strangers, or in some cases the complete opposite, the cruelness of my family or peers, I can remember so many milestones in my life where I have come to the point where enough is enough, and I have opened that door, seen the future, and attempted to embrace it.
I have always considered myself to be an all or nothing kind of person. Whether […]

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