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Already wishing I had died

by Disenchanted7 7/4/2014

written by Disenchanted7

Two nights ago I nearly died from an overdose. Before I took the drug I was suicidal but as I was ODing I freaked out and did everything to survive. The entire next day I was so relieved to be alive and felt that this was the turning point I needed. That night I felt myself change back, and all the depression and insecurities slipped back in. Today I find myself wishing that I did die because I am faced with constant reminders that I am useless and will never live a satisfactory life. I’m sitting here thirsty, starving and unable to go to the […]

7/4/2014 5 comments

Wish I had done it years ago

by imdone123 7/4/2014

written by imdone123

I have been suicidal for over 8 years now. At times it gets better but recently it’s been getting worse. I think about it a lot. The only thing that prevents me from doing it is my son. I don’t want to hurt him but I don’t know how much longer I will be able to keep going for him.

Back story:
I was in the military for almost 10 years when I got divorced. At first it was fun then I started to get lonely, I tried to get my ex wife back but she wanted nothing to do with me unless it dealt with […]

7/4/2014 4 comments

Bye

by ThornsOfParadise 7/4/2014

written by ThornsOfParadise

To all who reviewed and took your time to read my posts, thank you and good bye.

7/4/2014 2 comments

I just need a friend

by godkiller448 7/4/2014

written by godkiller448

I have not had one in so long. I need one more than ever to help me and talk to me. I have gotten more and more sad recently.

7/4/2014 19 comments

She causes me so much pain, so why do I love her?

by godkiller448 7/4/2014

written by godkiller448

I am not a suicidal person, but this does make me sad. I have known this girl for 2 years, and throughout those 2 years I have slowly and slowly fell in love with her. If I were to rate how much I love her on a scale of 1-10 as of today, it would be an eight. Here is the problem though. She pains me and hurts me so much, but she doesn’t mean to. She doesn’t even know show does. She knows how I feel, and she always seems flirtatious, but then some other time she makes it seem like she’s doing it […]

7/4/2014 3 comments

new beginnings??

by Mary Love 7/4/2014

written by Mary Love

my friend introduced wicca to me and i’m soooo interested in it…we even did a séance to my dad…it was soooo emotional. I would like to start practicing but I have no idea where to start and me and her have lost connection….any ideas or references???

7/4/2014 7 comments

Suicidal Ideation and Knives

by P03T3SS 7/4/2014

written by P03T3SS

Whenever I wash the dishes, it’s always the knives that get to me. I’m very careful when washing and drying knives by hand. I am particularly careful with chef or butcher knives, especially at my grandfather’s house.

But today, as well as the previous day, I’ve felt suicidal. There are many reasons why I hate knives, and suicide or self-harm is one (or rather two) of those reasons…

Me washing a big knife, drying it, and then putting it into the drawer (with all the other chef knives)… It makes me feel so numb. There I am, standing there, envisioning myself stabbing diagonally, into my chest, from […]

7/4/2014 2 comments

Recovery…

by RealTalk30 7/4/2014

written by RealTalk30

All this fucking shit that has happened to me has played serious hell on my health. My work is extremely exhausting and I’ve been spilling more tears than I’ve been able to drink water. I’m about two metaphorical steps away from an actual emergency room visit. Some of you already understand how bad it is.
But the point is that the choice to recover is eminent! I can’t let myself sink so far off that it takes my life. I’m not done with it, there is still so much to do and see.
I’ve got 3 days off of work.. So I’m getting desperate for […]

7/4/2014 15 comments

cut.

by deadtragedy 7/3/2014

written by deadtragedy

“cut my arm as many times as you would cut yours”

words from my sister, i told her that i would never hurt her the way i hurt myself.

I held her as tight as i could as she cried in my wounded arms. She cleaned the blood and bandaged me up and said never to do it again, and continued crying. Every time i think to cut i remember that, but it still doesn’t stop me. I am so messed up, i don’t hate it anymore. I can tolerate it, i can live with it now. Is that weird? Many think so, even my shrink thinks […]

7/3/2014 0 comment

by broken818 7/3/2014

written by broken818

im really fucked up in the head & i just want to die so i can be at peace but im too afraid to kill myself im extremly miserable that im still here … why dont i have the balls to end it ? death is all i think about i even wish i get sick with cancer or something so i can die cause im too scared to do it myself …. i want to go im tired of being/felling sad,miserable,worthless,unloved,invisible,ugly,unhappy etc IM JUST TIRED & READY TO GO

7/3/2014 4 comments

Stress Builds Character

by infinite 7/3/2014

written by infinite

I am so tired, sometimes I feel so tired, I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. So tired. The pressure builds and builds. Seems like theres no release. The things I see go unnoticed by some. Fills my eyes with horror. Anger and guilt and frustration, and depression makes waking up every day harder and harder. I work my fingers to the bone just to survive. I got to get money so I can have a home. So I can breathe, eat and live in this society. I don’t even like money, and I got to work everyday just to feed myself. God it makes me sick. […]

7/3/2014 1 comment

He

by hellblau 7/3/2014

written by hellblau

He makes me weak, He makes me smile, He makes me cry, He makes me love him, He makes me hate him, He makes me happy, He makes me sad. And still, I can’t get him out of my fucking mind.

7/3/2014 12 comments

Here

by ub001 7/3/2014

written by ub001

Laid here on my bed thinking about you all, I don’t even know you but I feel for you. I thought hurting others would maker happy but that didn’t help and now I feel no emotion for people. No guilt, no sorrow, no happiness and Just nothing. I can understand anyone and anything at all. I’m literally nothing you’ve met before. Talk people xx

7/3/2014 3 comments

No problems or solutions, Pain Redundancy Killing Myself

by dbrowmm 7/3/2014

written by dbrowmm

All my problems have been fixed, I’m making friends I’m talking to people but I’m still a fucking basket case. There’s only a few weeks left until I decide whether or not I’m going through with this… Even when I’ve had my best days theres still loneliness and isolation lurking in the background, I’m tired of false fronts and pretenses and feeling like an outcast even when I’m not one. I’m tired of feeling so fucking angsty and so fucking shitty and being a ***** about things, I’m just really tired and only if I end it all can I rest

7/3/2014 3 comments

…..

by Remnant The Unbroken 7/3/2014

written by Remnant The Unbroken

Well, I’m starting Prozac.

Can you OD on it? Maybe that’ll be a good thing to stack up with my Klonopin, Zoloft, Seroquel, and capsule full of Benadryl/whatever other kind of headache medicine I found in the kitchen (if I do decide to OD…I’m iffy about that type of exit). Although since I’m stopping those two drugs and only taking Klonopin as needed, if I were to take a bunch at once maybe it’ll be a complete shocker to my system. Then again, I seem to be unaffected by meds half the time so I’m probably going to fail in an OD attempt.

I’m so frustrated with my […]

7/3/2014 39 comments

I’m Free, out and back

by LifeafterDeath 7/3/2014

written by LifeafterDeath

2 months lost Inside a few small rooms, surrounded by rabid humans claiming they were helping me. Bastards, it was hell, but i’m finally free. Last thing i remember doing before was networking with you fine folk 🙂

….. But it’s been a while so i imagine everyone i spoke to on here is dead now 🙁

Still, How you guys doing ?????????

108 – 23- 815

7/3/2014 5 comments

16 & ready to die

by hk23 7/3/2014

written by hk23

When I pray, I pray for death. The scars on my arm cry for recognition. Recognition of a cause, recognition of a solution. They draw attention, but never a consolidation. One would have to care to consolidate. They never cared about me or my pain. The pain that draws me from sleep, the pain that crushes my soul. The pain of never knowing a real family. A family to call my own. A family who’s veins run with the same blood . A family begot from love and trust. I never knew a family. I never knew a mother. I never knew a father. She’s […]

7/3/2014 1 comment

Postponing my exit

by Counting Down the Years 7/3/2014

written by Counting Down the Years

I had court today for my divorce proceedings. We reached an agreement whereby I will keep the house and my daughter will not be uprooted. I am willing to postpone my departure date of August 8 to see how things pan out.

7/3/2014 13 comments

Starset – My Demons

by marine105 7/3/2014

written by marine105

1. Listen

2. Eargasm

3. You’re welcome

7/3/2014 3 comments

End this now…. please

by Pdog 7/3/2014

written by Pdog

I’m sure my story isn’t unique. I started off strong and passionate. Now it’s just physical and emotional pain. Both equally disable my ability to love, converse, work, and sleep. My heart pounds every day like the annoying construction workers outside my window.
I’ve tried meds and nothing helps. The anxiety is just too much to handle. I live in San Francisco and see the golden gate bridge on a daily basis. If only I had the balls to jump off. Everyday is worse than the last. I guess I’ll just try and OD on morphine again, but it never works. I’ve taken over 1000 […]

7/3/2014 22 comments

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