For general topics related to the site.
It’s all over now. I think i’m happy!
I’ve done my first youtube video. Feel free to watch it if you have nothing else to do.
Sincerely,
Nobody915
Category:
General
Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And the worst part is there’s no one else to blame
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me
Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
I’ve lost myself again and I feel unsafe
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold […]
So I turned to this blog last June in the hope of relieving myself of some my bottled up stories and emotions. It helped for all of 10 seconds. I’m still a closet gay (by my family’s demand and not my choice). My family would have me locked in a cage if they could, they have recently told me I’m the biggest problem my family has. I’m at university now so I’ve had a little bit of free time to experiment and be me. But being me has come at the price of my family and their respect. When I came out they took it […]
In december of 2012 i tried to overdose myself. it obviously didn’t work because I’m typing this now. I’ve had some really serious problems with my mom but i mean most teenage girls do too… we haven’t fought in so long, but now here it is happening again the same way it used too, and here i am again just feeling more and more alone. I guess this is me just reaching out for help before i get completely hopeless. comment if you would like too.
I’m scared. I’m scared of feeling stuck, of being tormented not only the past, but my own thoughts. I’m scared of moving on, of trusting people who will only abandon me when they find out that I’m not as perfect as they foolishly believed. I’m scared of the possibility of being stuck in stasis for the rest of my life, not accomplishing anything, while everything else moves forward at the speed of light. I’m scared to live with the pain caused by living.
Yet I’m afraid to die. I’m scared that maybe I could have made a difference in someone’s life, maybe even reached my full […]
On Thursday night after you didn’t reply I felt alone
On Thursday night it was the first time in a few months that I sobbed myself to sleep
On Thursday night I felt so suicidal
On Thursday night I felt the lowest of low
On Thursday night it was going to be the second time I cut
On Thursday night I was so frustrated with myself I threw my scissors across the room
On Thursday night I was so so so so so close to the edge
On Thursday night I felt very very very worthless
On Thursday night I felt very very very useless
Anyone see him arround here recently?
So here is my story. About a year ago,, I was diagnosed as being cancer free and returned to work. Ever since this has happened, my life has been very difficult when it comes to work. At work, Â my supervisor has been giving me a hard time about a lot of things. Â My supervisor put me on two final warnings. Â Then I work through three months of worry, high levels of anxiety, and feeling suicidal for days, weeks on end. Last week, after I got out of being on the warning for these two things by meeting goal for three months, they put me […]
I dont know how it will be finished. all depend on a phon call that i will make after tomorrow.any way i had enough bad expriences in my life to conferm that the main problem in my life is me .
Ok so it has been really hard for me to admit this but I’m a bad person! I do not care about anyone or anything?! I’m always and only worried about me! Its like I know im this evil person but I don’t do anything! I fear everything! I fear driving and dying I fear people not liking me when why should they I’m a fuck up and it’s like I know im a fuck up but I don’t do anything , I’ve been on this site before and read others posts but im so concerned with myself that I can’t even care and isn’t […]
some say it’s all hard work.
I say “willingness to work hard is part of genes”
Human species are just some random combinations of chemicals. No one knows the parameters considered in that combination ( may be the time your parents did “it” or mental state of your parents while doing “it” or the food your mom eaten in her earlier days or the pollution rate in the country,  perhaps combination of infinite parameters)
I call that combination as luck.
The set of problems we have are not real, they all part of chemical reactions in brain
Ex:
if you throw an apple iphone it broke and it remain broken: that is […]
the past few days have just been the worst I am seriously in so much emotional and mental pain. I havent ever felt more empty or hopeless than I do now and sometimes I just wanna say fuck it and grab my fucken gun and just try to end it and hope that i’ll be lucky enough to die. I swear it feels like a shitload of misery and sadness and hopelessness just fell out of the sky and landed right on me. I feel so alone right now so empty i’m sitting here just bawling me eyes out and I can’t stop I just […]
Is he just teasing me??? What should I do when I meet him next time???
by snowflake
written by snowflake
Last weekend my family and I went to visit my grandma at hometown. I saw all of my cousins who I haven’t seen for a year or more than we greeted each other but one of my cousins, started to show signs that he maybe is interested in me?
I just want to know if it’s just family love or that he likes me. When I was eating and talking to my mom and sister, and he was on the other side of the room talking to his mom. I occasionally would look to direction he was in and he would be looking at me. A while […]
First of all respect for the people who got to roam this site. I myself did it for more than one year. Sometimes I tried giving advices, yet it s hard to interfere with other people s thoughts, so for the most time I refrained from doing so. I can say I succeeded to prolong someone s life here, with one week. Yes only one week. I cried when that person gave up. I cried as much as when I lost my mother. Our lives cannot be lived in reverse and unfortunately many people are going backwards instead of moving forward. It is the mind […]
I panic so much because of how I feel inside. My girlfriend wants me to get better but I cant right now. I know I should be happy with where I am in my life but everything that’s going on in my mind won’t let me.
I want her to get mad at me and tell me im wrong for not wanting to be here because if i leave this world ill be leaving her behind. one of my only reasons for being here is her because she wants me to. if she told me to kill myself tonight i would think about it for two […]
I served in the Civil Air Patrol. And I was proud of it. Around December, my life dried up. I was around an Airman then. I was angry with myself. I was a total slacker, and was so lazy it infuriated me. I was a disgrace to my squadron, who was often considered the best in the state. The  Disappointment in my own actions made me angry. I was alone. I have been since then. I. am. Dying on the inside. My stress limit has officially been destroyed. Help. Me.
I never asked to be here, nor did I ask to be a burden. You can only give so much of yourself before nothing left. I cant scream or clinch my fists anymore, you wanna talk bout it no one listens, or cares think its a joke. They say theirs light at the end of the tunnel but always stuck in reverse. Maybe finally get the balls to eat the bullet until then more waiting and wondering…
I just miss and crave the not so occasional drinks that would lead to reckless behavior because at this moment when I want to feel something I can’t bring myself to do anything about it. I’m not suicidal but I know that what I am feeling leads up to it. And no one can know. Everyone had their life together again but me. I feel so alone. I literally don’t feel like I belong in my own skin. I don’t like anything that I am right now or have become these past few months.
Ever since I was five my family and I have been hit with some bad karma. It all started when my dad went to jail for forty years. He got a year for every time he raped my sister. When he went to jail my mom got a boyfriend immediately. He was really nice for a year. Then he asked my mom to marry him. We were all very happy for them. Except my dad refused to divorce my mom. Which i am very grateful for or we would still be in that hell hole. When she started dating him she started doing cocaine with […]