For general topics related to the site.
I’m just tired of living in sadness I wish it would all just end..
I want to ask your opinion about seeking / talking to a professional. I never go to one. My mother asks me to go to a psychologist / psychiatrist. But I am afraid to pour out my deepest heart to a complete stranger. I feel embarrassed. I am also afraid that he/she will declare me as just an attention seeker. (Am I? I don’t know the answer. I don’t think I am but if a professional says so, who am I to counteract) It has happened before. I opened myself to some people in authority, and they ridiculed me and brushed me off as attention […]
Are you ready to sell it?
How much do you think you can value your life for?
What if so called leaders did a blunder and sold earth for $xyz? —
Hence, I believe humans are stupid because they choose some humans as super humans and call them as leaders
What if newton show-up and say there is nothing called gravity and all 3 rules are bullshit. Same way as Stephen hawking did “all black-hole concept is wrong and there is new thing called grey-holes”
Therefore if you wait for other human to save you, your life worth zero.
Sorry if how I post is a bit unusual, but for me my life is unusual. I am always scared to talk about myself, I find it to be too selfish for me but for others it is fine. I have decided to slowly tell my story in bits and pieces where you don’t need to read any other post to understand what I am talking about but in order to understand my life if it interests you in any way, and I don’t see how it would I just wanted to type something so someone can see how I feel because I hide it […]
Hi Guys,
It’s 8:30 here and I am already exhausted… I haven’t been getting much sleep these past few nights… Maybe 4-5 hours at the most? Maybe less? All I know is I have been going to bed around 1-2 am and waking up at 5-6:30 am… So not much sleep there… But ya know I don’t really care… Well I guess I do because I feel lonely those 3-4 extra hours and I don’t know what to do with myself…. I start overthinking things. I start wondering, questioning, questioning my very own existence. Why am I here for? What am I here for? What is […]
I wanted to come here for a repost, as if once was not enough.
I’m a middle aged woman (55) whose life was wrecked by a cancer diagnosis followed by a divorce. Combo hit hard. Back then, I was tearful and melodramatic, and wrote a tearful and melodramatic post. Happily, that’s over. That is a distinct plus.
Another plus: I’ve lost my faith. I no longer believe in a life after death, and that’s a very freeing thing.
I have, I believe, been a good mother to my kids who are pretty happy, pretty well adjusted, and pretty clueless. This is a major plus 🙂
Meanwhile, I’m as suicidal […]
If I go there will be trouble!
If I stay there will be double!
SO YOU GOT TO LET ME KNOW!
SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO?
Just like everyone else on SP I have problems!! 🙁 but I try to help others, sometimes I’m negative sometimes I’m positive, but I’m so tired it’s hard to try to help others when I constantly want to die myself!
1) I’m not drowning in debt.
2) I have a job; I don’t mooch off others.
3) I have personal freedom due to the fact that I’m single.
4) I graduated from college. I plan on pursuing graduate school in the future.
5) I’m intelligent.
6) I’m experienced when it comes to the negative things in life, i.e., I’m not superficial. I don’t have to rely upon trivial advice and/or criticism from less experienced individuals.
7) I’m a gentleman with respect to the opposite sex, even if it never pays off. In other words, I’m not a loser douchebag.
8) Difficult books.
9) The ability to write.
10) Coffee without sugar.
Last year I was hospitalized (self-admitted) because of severe suicidal ideation. Â I spent a week in an emergency mental health ward and then was released and stayed in a recovery facility.
I’ve been to therapy and still see my therapist. Â I have a psychiatrist and still take my Wellbutrin. Â I’ve had ups and downs, but since I was discharged I haven’t had any more suicidal thoughts…until now.
I’ve worked at CBT, I journal regularly, I don’t isolate, I have a support system. Â My wife is wonderful, and we have a strong relationship. Â I’m close to my two college age daughters. Â I remember how much pain I caused […]
The thing is, I’ve been battling for 3 years now. I let it lie for years before, but now I fight.
I didn’t want to fight, because fighting means risking defeat. If I fight, I might lose. I’m losing.
In the last year, I was hospitalized 5 times and spent a total of 6 months in the hospital. I’ve had two suicide attempts and during the first one, spent 2 days in a coma, only to wake up to delirium and yet another hospitalization.
I have scars on my legs, arms, stomach. I’ve needed countless stitches.
I’ve tried so many medications, I can’t list them all.
I am […]
You. Yes, YOU! You need to blow off steam like an overworked, piston pounding engine about to explode. Do not bottle up your emotions, or they will shatter the container as if it was flung against the wall. You must air out your dirty laundry or it will make the house smell like the inner layer of an angry sumos diaper. Venting. It is a healthy necessary, natural process that everyone should exercise to prevent pent up anger, ulcers, tumors, stress, and a faithul re-enactment of call of duty in the park/office/or school. …Or is the idea of venting just a load of hot air?
It […]
I’m not suicidal, just incredibly bored with life. I think that I’ve played too many video games, watched too many movies, cartoons throughout my life that I expect grand things out of reality. But as we all know, things are pretty mundane on planet Earth(save for wars and terrorist attacks; those are always good for a laugh).
Things are pretty sucky in my life right now. I’m living with an ex-girlfriend that my ego is still very much attached too. She’s an annoying **** but I enjoyed the sex, and like I said, she really knew how to stroke my ego and make me feel […]
Im living this life that isnt even mine. I dont know what im living for anymore..I was once a happy little girl but everything chance for me im not the same person anymore….how do I get my life back?
YOU ask me what i need and WHAT I NEED IS YOU.
I know I cant have you, You tell me i cant have you, you’ve made up your mind. You tell me you love me, you tell me you will still be around but you tell me you’re leaving overseas.. HOW THE FUCK?
You tell me all these things but do you really mean it? Why would you challenge yourself trying to make it overseas when you have a challenge here trying to make this work, make us work and (what i was hoping) start a family. YOU and only you would throw this all […]
its funny how as an adolescent i had many different reasons i wanted to die and they made sense to me.Now im not really sure if dying is the goal as of late.Acually im not sure what the goal is.
I find myself getting depressed over little things such as my aunt wasting away and me not speaking with her.also things like transpportation issues.Money issues despite never having had to pay a bill my whole life.I worry about not having a significant other.i worry about being alone homeless and helpless.Suprisinginly i worry about my own health since ive tried to take my own life so […]
You see that girl? She looks so happy, right? Telling jokes, smiling, having a great time and… Dying inside. She’s hurt, And tired. Tired of the drama, tired of not being good enough, tired of life. But she doesn’t want to look dramatic, weak and attention seeking. So she keeps it all inside. Acts like everything’s perfect but cries at night. So everyone thinks that she’s a happiest person they know. That she has no problems and her life is perfect. If only they knew the trust…  :’(
I can’t do this anymore, I really can’t…
I wish I […]
Hi, I just want to rant here. I am 22 and already tired of life. I have been without friends for a long time. Last time I have some friends in doing things is in my junior high school. I have been told to do everything by myself because that is what adults do: doing everything independently. I have a good role model for that: my mother. She is very reliable and can do everything by herself. I too want to be like her. I have been trying to live on without a friend since junior high. It’s scary and tiring to do everything alone. […]
been in this site about a week readin and readin the stories… i’ve been depressed for 6 months and now i’m runnin out of resources to get my mind out it, since i’ve already failed in everythin n developin panic/anxious attacks isn’t helpin. or might be… actually the attacks are gettin a full mixed of emotions and desperate livin/dyin feelings. i just dont know whats real anymore… takin even more pills to get to sleep but every single minute dreamin about humiliantin/powerfull evil forces (not like ghosts or somethin) comin to me and makin the few people that i love suffer. i wake up with […]