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General

For general topics related to the site.

i dont matter

by LetItGo 2/1/2014

written by LetItGo

ive decided to bottle things up again. ive decided that it doesnt matter if im breaking, broken, or perfectly fine. it doesnt matter that i want a hug. it doesnt matter that i feel so broken and in pain at times. it doesnt matter. me. i dont matter. my feelings dont matter. everything about me doesnt matter. what matters if you guys are okay. if you are okay good. i dont matter. it doesnt matter. my life. my feelings. my pain. it doesnt matter at all. what so ever.
ive also decided that im going to start lying. if you ask me how i am […]

2/1/2014 8 comments

and ” i am loving it “

by addicted 2/1/2014

written by addicted

Even if I got all the powers in the world

I still feel depressed and addicted to suicideÂ with no reason

2/1/2014 0 comment

Humanity is okay. It’s certain people that ruin a bunch.

by heartcore 2/1/2014

written by heartcore

Kawaii: “Every species pollutes, but only one species tries to stop it. Every species gets sick, but only one can figure out why and stop it. We can’t run very fast, yet we are the fastest living things on the planet. We’re not very strong, yet we can move mountains. We have no wings, yet we’ve flown higher than any animal can imagine. Our voices aren’t very loud, yet we can talk to our brothers on the other side of the planet, even further than that. I have seen more than the keenest of hawks, gone faster than the quickest of all cheetahs, moved more […]

2/1/2014 50 comments

Stefie is dead…

by Sissi 2/1/2014

written by Sissi

As I vowed in the other post… I will die. Without Stefie I cannot live on… goodbye my friends, goodbye my family, goodbye everyone… You’re better off without me anyway.

2/1/2014 19 comments

The impossible question

by SuicidalBilly 2/1/2014

written by SuicidalBilly

Throughout my entire life, I have searched for the answer, the truth to what the purpose of humanity’s existence could be. Being a former Catholic, I believed “god” to be the answer, but the ugly and unpleasant truth is that there WAS no answer from the very beginning. Life never did have a purpose. People tell themselves that there is some cosmic and divine reason for our existence, but that is a false illusion created to hide our fears, and to ease our consciousness, just like how people delude themselves into thinking that they will be reunited with their loved ones in heaven, or […]

2/1/2014 9 comments

Numb

by Jladd 2/1/2014

written by Jladd

I don’t feel like anything if that makes sense. I feel like I’m empty and I been thinking to much. I’m not in love anymore. And I dontnthink no ever will be I sit there and think about the people I’m suppose to love and I feel nothing. I don’t feel anything. I haven’t even cried and my mom just died. Should I? Why do I feel like I have no feelings anymore..?

2/1/2014 3 comments

confused

by Jayykeith3312 2/1/2014

written by Jayykeith3312

I’m at the point where I feel like I’m only living so the people I’ve grown so attached to don’t have to deal with my death. Knowing I’d be missed does feel nice because not all people can feel that. But living for everyone but me is taking it’s toll. I’ve been thinking about suicide everyday for a couple months, each day its becomes more desirable. Even though I know I’ll be missed, I still feel alone. I don’t see my future going anywhere. And I’m okay with dying. But pain is what brought me to this point and my death would cause a lot […]

2/1/2014 0 comment

Change

by eliizabethkaren 2/1/2014

written by eliizabethkaren

Things have changed for the better, I can’t believe that things really do “get better”. That saying has always been bs to me, I never believed that things could just one day be better and the suicidal feelings would fade. Ever since having a mental breakdown and coming so close to suicide, my eyes have opened. It’s barely been a week and things are a whole lot clearer. Things only begin to change when you realize they can. I know most of the time it feels like everything bad possible just happens to us, but most of the time it’s the way we handle the […]

2/1/2014 1 comment

Need of love.

by Jombo 2/1/2014

written by Jombo

At 12 when I did my first depression, I really wanted to die so badly. Then I found that what I really wanted in life was love. Everything I ever did what for that goal and it’s the only thing that makes me happy. The only thing that could keep me alive, the only thing that would make my life worth living. So yea, I needed to be loved and didn’t try to kill myself, it was some kind of a second chance I thought. Second chance… for what? to feel even more miserable, hurt and dead inside? The only thing that keeps me alive […]

2/1/2014 0 comment

Just Too Tired

by TheHours 1/31/2014

written by TheHours

Ever been woken at 3 am? Remember being sooo tired that you can hardly move?

Now imagine you’re cold but too tired to get up to get an extra blanket.
Or maybe you have to go to the bathroom but you’re too tired.
Have you ever fallen asleep in an uncomfortable spot, e.g., your car, the living room floor, etc. but you’re too tired to get up?

That’s how I feel when I’m at my lowest point of depression & when I have my strongest desire to leave.

I may want to “get up” but I cannot. I’m just “too tired”. The thought of getting showered, […]

1/31/2014 4 comments

Breaking

by LetItGo 1/31/2014

written by LetItGo

Breaking

I feel broken
I know its not good
To keep feelings bottled up
But I feel if I do tell my feelings
I feel annoying
I donâ€™t know why
And I donâ€™t know how
But I do

I will fake a smile
To make people happy
I will give you a compliment
To make you happy
Sometimes I want to be happy
But sometimes we canâ€™t get what we want

I live a life of lies
I lie
I know I know itâ€™s bad
But its not really lying
More like not telling the WHOLE truth
I want my friends to be happy
I know that in […]

1/31/2014 2 comments

Day 20

by LetItGo 1/31/2014

written by LetItGo

Hi Guys,

Day 20! 20 daily posts!!! Woo… It’s been a rough and sad journey, BUT we are not done xD.

So how are you guys? (Comment below!!! I’ll try to answer…)

How am I? Physically: Drained Mentally: Drained

My physical state… I have a massive headache, I am terribly tired, I feel sick and blech and *sigh*. Right now it’s one of those moods, those depressed suicidal moods, but I will get through it alive… But maybe I won’t I don’t know…. I just need someone there ya know? I just *sigh* it doesn’t really matter how I feel I guess. I mean really does it? Does […]

1/31/2014 20 comments

Zoloft?

by dontknowanymore 1/31/2014

written by dontknowanymore

So i have been diagnosed with postpartum depression and put on zoloft….anybody have experience with this antidepressant? I’m just looking to see any side effects any one experienced and how long it took to kick in? Did it make the suicidal thoughts better or worse? Just any info/real experience is appreciated

1/31/2014 8 comments

im done living in a place called earth.

by keke_ 1/31/2014

written by keke_

1/31/2014 1 comment

Bad weather days…

by PhantomShadow 1/31/2014

written by PhantomShadow

I hate bad weather days…Â I am absolutely useless on days like today.Â My whole body is in pain and I can’t focus.Â I want so much to do things but I can’t…it’s like my hand-brake is on and I am smoking rubber trying to get anywhere.Â Sometimes I just want to curl up into a corner and cry my self to sleep.Â Yesterday, on a post challenging all of us to tell the truth of how we feel, I mentioned that I had a arthritis flair…well this is why…Â I can forecast bad weather days ahead of time.

I wonder sometimes how much my physical […]

1/31/2014 0 comment

Words. Us.

by purplepain 1/31/2014

written by purplepain

“How were things before? Surely there had to have been something positive. Had there been anything that really moved me, anything that really moved anyone? Maybe, but it was all gone now. Lost, perhaps meant to be lost. Nothing I can do about it, got to let it go.”

–Haruki Murakami, A WILD SHEEP CHASE

Why is it that in moments of confusion and hurt everything you read, listen to, etc, everything seems to be reading your mind, seems to be about you? Or is it just our broken mind, twisting and turning every word? Trying to find meanings, related to our thoughts and our life; meanings […]

1/31/2014 0 comment

by Tender 1/31/2014

written by Tender

1/31/2014 5 comments

by msquared 1/31/2014

written by msquared

HE KEEPS TALKING TO ME TRYING TO EXPLAIN WHY I CANT POSSIBLY CARE ABOUT HIM THIS MUCH, WHY I CANT POSSIBLY BE THIS UPSET?! ITS BECAUSE HE TOOK ALL OF MY LOVE, EVERYTHING I HAD, AND I CANT GET IT BACK. I HAVE NOTHING LEFT TO GIVE. I HAVE NOTHING LEFT. ALL I WANT AND CARE ABOUT IS HIM. HE KEEPS TRYING TO TALK, SAYING THINGS THAT ARE MAKING ME FEEL WORSE. THERES NOTHING I CAN DO. HE DOESN’T GET THAT HE COULD HAVE HAD SOMEONE THAT DOESN’T WANT ANYONE ELSE BUT HIM. THATS HIS FEAR. AND HE DOESNT GET IT.
IM ACTUALLY SCARED FOR […]

1/31/2014 3 comments

Advice Please…

by Thesuicidalfreak 1/31/2014

written by Thesuicidalfreak

I am sort of in a conundrum and I would like advice.

I guess Iâ€™ll start at the beginning. I am in a group of friends that are all dating(or at least have someone), and they were trying to set me up with people. They think that me getting a boyfriend would somehow cure my depression. Well I got set up with this guy. He is a lot like me, he is battling depression and is super awkward.

But I donâ€™t know honestly. I donâ€™t know if I am pretending to like him just for my friends sake, or maybe Iâ€™m just overthinking everything. But […]

1/31/2014 11 comments

Bad relationships

by whitewinterhymnal 1/31/2014

written by whitewinterhymnal

It seems to be a lot easier to share things here than it is in real life, so- to mark the fact I have put on half a stone (which makes me feel quite disgusting) I really wanted to share my depression and eating disorder story. There’s definitely a lot more to it than an emotionally abusive relationship, but that’s the shortest, and easiest, explanation. I must have been about 14 when I first started going out with this guy. I was at that awkward age where I was terribly unsure about myself and hopelessly desperate for acceptance. That acceptance came in the form of […]

1/31/2014 11 comments

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