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…does that mean you fall out of love as soon as you feel something different?
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I don’t know what to do. I feel empty inside, I’ve suffered depression for years, I also have anger & anxiety problems. I push everybody away & that’s why I have barely any friends. I just feel like I can’t go on anymore. I cry every single day thinking about my sad, pathetic life.
Sometimes, things get better.. Then something happens to mess it up again. It’s like a vicious circle. I fell suicidal all the time, but I also think about the effect it would have on my family. I feel like no one will ever love me & I’ll be alone forever. The doctor […]
After 26 years of loneliness and heart-break. I think the time has come, for me to finally end my life. I have been trying to fight it. Trying to hold everything together, all by myself. In spite of the attempts of others to help me, it never does, because at the end of the day, I am truly alone. They constantly try to convince me I am not alone, or will not be alone forever, but they do it from a position where they aren’t with me, so I am still left alone. No one will ever take a chance on me. Not truly. I […]
At this point I just don’t know. Im 15. only have a couple friends, that could easily get along without me, contrary to me towards them. all I want is to leave. not my home, not this continent. just somewhere new. death intrigues me. seems reasonable enough… Im getting a gun in October. seems like things just always seem to work out for me. I don’t want someone telling me how its going to get better, or that I need to stop and think. I just want to talk to someone in the same situation. age is barely acknowledged with me. im looked at more […]
So I called an old friend to tell them I was planning on killing myself Monday. They didn’t answer.
I felt like I had to post this: words of encouragement for anyone who has hit rock bottom and is determined to leave his/her pit of misery. I’m going to list what worked for me and hopefully it can inspire some
Books: the ‘right’ books can uplift your spirit. The further I got into certain books, the less I felt tempted to return to good ole negative thinking. Some authors really make you want to change your way of thinking. Books I recommend: awaken the giant within (by Anthony Robbins, self-help genre); the vibrational universe (by Kenneth JM MacLean, very interesting if you enjoy outside the […]
I’ve gotten everything in order. My will is made, all my affairs are in order. Made my last projects I wanted to do or said I would do. I’ve no regret. Tomorrow morning they will find out the truth. I’m mad I’m alone. Upset that I couldn’t get the help I needed. Scared because I don’t want to over do it and I just end up throwing up and still be alive. Exhausted because all these migraines are getting worse. I just wanted my friends to understand. I’m sick. There finally I’ve said it.
God please forgive. My life is a patch work of mistakes […]
ms 1
looks like im back to this place again
i hate the feeling when everyone is all happy and excited and i feel all alone in my corner and im the only one that feels differently about it. like i feel like no one even thinks about how i feel, maybe im just thinking too much or whatever. you’re still here but you’re not. i’m starting to feel alone. not the alone i used to feel when i didnt give a shit when i was single type of alone. that alone feeling like someones there but they’re not. people in general are better off without me. […]
I knoe how it feels to feel lonely with no one to talk to , no one to give u advice , to give u there shoulder , attention , that’s why im gonna use my time to talk to the ppl that need a friend to turn to when there feeling down , feel free to email me : princessmonseS13@gmail.com or kik me at : baby_bear1342 , btw im 13 , yea im young but trust me I give good advice , YOUR NOT ALONE ^_^
Strangers were nice to me today. The guy at the store gave me parts and fixed my computer for free. The man in the parking lot complimented my dog. The lady at the other store let me exchange stuff no hassle even though I didn’t have a receipt. I was nice right back. I helped 2 kids broken down at a gas station.
Strangers lulled me into a false sense of security that I can actually exist among them. That I am accepted. That I have a place in the cosmos.
And then I re-entered my world, the un-strange world, full of people who know me. Instantly […]
I’m going to kill myself, because I’ve realized that if I do, the money used on me can be used to save many other people’s lives. That’s all. Is this crazy?
Birthday looming. Shouldn’t have happened. Dreamed I asked mom why she had me. It was too late to abort, she said. Felt so so sad for her. But relieved that my dis-ease with this life-thing finally made sense.
Just a dream. Woke up as usual. Wished I hadn’t, as usual
it took a lot of work but finally i found the ********, it is just a matter of time to me and some things i want to finish before my travel, i dont feel scared to be honest i´m really excited, its like im finally returning home, i can not tell this to anyone just this blog, thanks
look at me
look what you did
you forst my in to a black cold pit and here im keept
you vile act
the liys you told
how you got me drunk at 12 years fucking old
how you came in to my room you then you mate
cant you see the pane the memorey
was i the only one
well you broke me
im the damigd goods of this erth
no one will know and i know if i got in to something
i would hafe to liy
cos no one would have me
no one would see me
id be alone
damigd goods is what the label says
the one stuck in my mind
the one that thay’ll put on me if […]
up up down
all the time falling falling
calling for help
life is like a broken record and poetey
the only thing that keeps me still
wile the world falls down arownd me
if iv still got something to hold on to
if thers something worth it
worth evrey thing i do
i live on a island of pece when i have a pen in my hand and a thort in my head
i dont care what you think you will neve be abel to explane how it feels
and people think we wight about soft things
but no its raw and gritey and pure all at the same time
how it makes us fell well as i […]
How do you go on living,
when depression’s already won,
how do you go on walking,
when your feet weigh half a ton,
how do you just ignore.
the fact that your life is done,
when everyone around you,
passes by like you’re not there,
when even your best friend,
turns and doesn’t care,
how do you go on breathing,
when the pain is pushing down,
when your whole life around you,
breaks and crashes around.
If there’s anything I truly hate, it’s drama. I hate the drama that girls cause, I hate the drama boys cause, and I especially hate the drama grown ups cause. The summer usually is a time that I can get away from most of that drama. I think almost everyone loves summer.
I FINALLY get to leave St. Louis. I’m staying with my cousins during summer, like I always do. This year though, I don’t think it’ll be the same. I usually would bike to my friends house and we’d go to the pool, or get ice cream, or go to the rec. center. But this […]
I would say, “Fuck my life!”
…but I don’t find my life sexually attractive, so I would prefer not to do so.
whats worong oh its a long storey… that gos on to this day and befor and after the pane is like a monalog from a play or a poim
“is this a dagger i see befor me” yes the same one that is going to kill you and has cut your arms
“if i shuod diy think only this of me” that no one cared
“love me sweet rosalind” cos no one els will
“he liys slane” by his own hads lets leve the bodey
the resons go on
love xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
How do you deal with anger. Anger is an incredible understatement how do you deal with life when you have a constant flow of hatred in your veins. It gets bad like stabbing pain in the gut bad. You just want to scream and yell and savagely hit everything around you. But that’s not right there are rules if you don’t follow them they just cage you agin……FUCK YOU EDDY YOU BALD PAIN IN THE ASS.
I want forget I want to forget everything. But I can’t