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One last try before I let it go I guess. I’m going to take a trip in August. Colorado to the Canadian border. I have a nice pack and backcountry skills. I’ll hitch hike north and try to reconnect with life. I don’t know if I have any real friends left and my family is nonexistent. I want this world to show me that it is still alive. I can’t go on if my regular life is all there is. Hopefully I come back here someday.
I’m going to try and give my story the best way I can. I haven’t been on this Earth for a very long time, and I’ve been plagued by problems (but not as much compared to come of the posts I’ve read on here). I started having suicidal thoughts when I was about 10, and I’ve had them ever since. I started having them because I was being bullied very badly at school. My Mother (who is going to appear many times in this story), also picked on me but not as bad. Fast forward 2 years from then, I started getting homeschooled, and my […]
Those of us who can’t get N are left to hang or blow our brains out. Â Is this what the world is all about? Â Fuck everything. Â FUCKKKING FUCK!! Â Lol this life is so fucked up it’s comical.
Every Summer since I was a teenager has been tough for many different reasons.
From being in hospital, to loosing someone to death, to drinking myself awake every morning.
This Summer is full of promise.
This Summer is probably going to be my most memorable Summer yet and maybe ever.
I have no money but so much hope and love that it could fill an entire city.
I’ve one small worry though. This might be the start of the end of me and my bestfriend.
I’ve known this girl Hayley for 13 years of my life and I’m 17 yet.
She is literally my soul mate.
I […]
I’ve been struggling for a while now, it just feels like there’s only so much one person should have to handle. Some days I’m fine, I get up go to work, do what it is normal people are supposed to do. Most days…most days, I just want to die, not because I’m bored or lonely or crying out for attention; but because I’m tired. I’m tired of slogging through bull shit and being told that I just got dealt a shitty hand and if I stick it out it’ll get better. I’m tired of hurting, I’m tired of caring about everyone else and being cared […]
Lover is far away, not sure if she is here to stay.
Work is far from reach, but who am I to preach?
Constant exhaustion, no motivation.
Lonesome, a nobody, within this twisted nation.
Surrounded by “family,” with no liberty.
Bound by these deathly notions, that continues to consume me.
I Run Away From Home 3 weeks Ago Cuz My Mom And Dad They Called Me Stupid cuz I have Cut My Self And It Was NOt Nice so i Run Away And My Sister Cought Me And So i was i Sad And I Ben Talking to This Guy That Ben Helping me and that does not help me that much 🙁 And I want It To Stop Now I Cant TAke It
Im New So I was Thinking Of Killing My Self But I Did Not Cuz Of My Girlfriend That Starts With The S She Was Going to Brake Up With Me cuz Im Jelly All time cuz of what Happen To Me on My Other Relation Ship I was Being Cheat On And So I thought i Might Get Cheat On Agen And I dont Want That So My Girlfriend Gave Me One Last Chance So I Must Not Make A Error On This Cuz i might Lose Her She Means A Lot to me Cuz We Did Some Stuff and She Made me a […]
Here I am walking along a lonely road,
Because there was simply no where else to go.
They told me to just be me.
But when I try to be the best I can be,
I turn around and they then torture me.
With words that will never fade,
As I slowly get out the blade.
With actions that will never tame,
It’s all just the same.
With people that will never leave,
For I will always grieve.
For I will never be,
The person they want me to be.
I’ve tried and failed and I want to do it again i cut everyday and the only one how is stoping me is my friend I have been called a disease a parasite ugly fat and that I should kill myself one of my best friends hung himself and I want to die to every day I think about it and I even find things I would do it with I’ve tried hanging and it dissent work so have any other ideas of how to die
I don’t know what to do any more. Everything I try to do fails, my friends are all starting to give up on me and I don’t fit in with my family, they keep on making my life a living hell and I know that I can’t keep on going on like this.
Every day I think about just ending it all, it would be so much easier. I find my self lying awake at night unable to sleep and imagining how much better off everyone would be if I wasn’t here any more.
I want to get some help, but I’m so scared to go […]
all my life , I’ve been that fat girl, the ugly girl. The girl noone wants to be around. Okay . I’ve had my fights and stuff but I just still don’t get why nooone has ever liked me. I’ve had ftoends and boufroends but I always find out what they really think of me.. its always my personality .. Im numb.. all I do sometimes is cry. My dad used to be an alcoholic now my mom is an abusive alcoholic.. my first love is now gay.. Im 17 years old.. I weigh 200 pounds. I have acne all over my face and body […]
I’ve been feeling some fear lately, and some anxiety too. Â I quit my job recently, I had too, it was only going to get worse. Â I have some savings to live on, but I don’t know where I go from here. Â My brain is damaged, it doesn’t work right, and you can read my first post if you want the details, but basically I did it under the influence of drugs a long time ago and things have gotten progressively worse over the last few years. Â Many hospitalizations, a lot of suicidal times. Â Lately, I haven’t really gone there, I’m much more curious as to […]
i want to move on already.. from all these feelings. But, how can I? All people do is hurt me, just for their own good. What good do you get out of this though? All you’re going to be left with is guilt… Guilt from being the person that made someone want to die and leave behind all their dreams just for something stupid that you said.. You have no idea how badly this hurts… Having to say goodbye to everyone.. one by one.. Its like self harming myself.. one by one.. but it all happens so quickly. Everything is going wrong, at this point […]
When i was about two years old, my mum left me in a small house with an 11 year old babysitter for a whole weekend to get drunk.
I remember people telling me that i would have been in care if it wasn’t for my Dad, although now that i’m growing into my teenage years he doesn’t pay any attention to me. I live with my Nan and Granddad. My Granddad is maybe the only person i appreciate, along with my best friends. I obviously love my family, but i feel awkward around my Dad, and my Nan’s constantly drunk and angry, and she’s spending all […]
And accidentally kill some other people, or end up on life support for a few months, courtesy of the American taxpayers. Â you did a wonderful service removing my post.
Have you ever made a promise you knew you wouldn’t be able to keep ?
Well, I have. A few years ago, I was in a really bad place. As I had ended up in a hospital bed once again, my best friend came to see me. She was crying, and she bugged me until I promised her to take care of myself. To stay alive.
The thing is, it was four years ago, but I’m not any happier than I was back then. I’m in the exact same place, but this time, I can’t let go, I can’t do anything to make the pain stop. […]
I know you are gone, but I keep looking at my phone and checking mail if MABY just maby you didnt kill yourself. I feel like Im going crazy….
Mom lost it yesterday…. For 2 days now she is totally out, she lost contact with reallity. She needs professional help.
And you thought you are the crazy one? Look at all of us now – lost without you.
And you thought nobody loves you…
You were so so so soooooooooooo wrong!!!!!!
Getting up everyday is a hard task just doing that.. I’m just so tired of this.. my pain is 24/7….
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