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how much longer do i have to pretend . Pretend that i wanna live on this earth pretend that i M so happy but deep down im dead . I look in the mirror and i dont see the person i was i just see a face with no meanin. I have the knife sittin right next to me me i wanna die i want this to be my last breath but im scared cause i know where i will end up 6 feet buried in the ground alone with regrets . I am weak but i will over come this sooner or later i […]
M done there is nothing left for me so I wanna say f it my ex left me and I do truly care about her I wanna feel darkness I’m done fed up I don’t wanna fight no more and i wanna feel pain that’s it
Reading posts from this sites, I browsed on some websites, trying to figure out what causes feeling to suicide.. One of them is Social Anxiety. Maybe you have no one to talk to, maybe you’re just too shy and confused and nervous and tensed every time there are peoples around you, maybe you spent years of your every single weekends – surfing on the internet, because you have no one to hang out with. The feeling of loneliness is killing you.. You feel different, you feel like no one understands you. You’re depressed, you feel insecure, you feel like you got no purpose in your […]
I guess I can say over the years i’ve never been the lucky one. Starting from my mother. She would always say I was worthless and countless beatings for uttering one word while she was yelling at me. Always saying how I was never born from her but found me right beside a dumpster. It hurts nothing my other 4 siblings never stopped to give me a shoulder to cry one, in fear they would be getting in the line of fire. I overdosed many times but someone always found ways to bring me back. Every night I would pray to god to give me […]
It is sad, when you think for just a little why, that she will be different. Everyone is all the same,though.
I have been hurt, and betrayed, and let down countless times.
I hate fucking life. I had a gun in my mouth last week, but I kept thinking, what if i go to hell, or the place after is worse. But i am in hell. This world is full of nothing good, just evil and ugly things. Would be good if we all died. Fuck happiness, fuck love. It means nothing to anyone. Love, it is a fucking word people use on a whim. […]
I was born disabled. Not your typical disability like being in a wheelchair or something but a very horrible genetic disease that has severe effects on the organs, skin and brain.  I’ve been waiting to die now for three decades and it just hasn’t happened.   I have been too sick to leave home for the last 5 years. I want to hurry up the process.  I wish that I had access to ********. It would make a huge difference just to have that available and know that there’s a way out.  I frequently think about leaping from an upper floor of the hospital. I like the idea […]
i still want to die……..
the realization that i am a burden and a pain is not something easy to live with…. just hope i would die of some natural causes or accidents…. that would save my family from giving explanations
i am tired…. and i still want to die….
I wish I never came into existence. Â Now I have to do the dirty job of killing myself to end this misery.
sometimes i feel
like a lost little girl
in the park.
looking for her mommy
only not really.
she is looking for somebody
who cares that she is
lost.
only nobody does
care.
so i am still lost
still that lost girl
looking for her mommy
in the park.
and all i do
when i can’t find her
i swing.
swing.
get on the swing
let it make me rock,
higher, higher.
and i have to use metaphors for this
because i’m not swinging
because i’m lost
i’m cutting
because i’m lost.
and i just need somebody to find me.
i just need […]
My grandfather is the only solid person I have left in my life. He’s old and can’t leave the house so I run his errands for him. He gave me money the other day to get us breakfast and I forgot to pick him up something else that I said I would get later. I was at a friends house that night and had almost 40 bucks in my wallet that someone stole. I just told my grandfather that my money got stolen and he said “Yeah, nice excuse. You are starting to sound like a dope addict.” LIKE ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! I […]
Ever since my nan died when I was 8 I’ve had anxiety attacks about death. Not about the actual dying more more the idea that I am going to grow old and the world is going to go on and I just won’t exist. Just typing that make my chest tighten and I feel like I’m having a heart attack.
However, recently I just feel like I’m never happy anymore and the world has nothing left to offer me. I have no motivation and all I want to do is sleep or do things that make me feel like I’m part of some fantasy world […]
Like anyone actually gives a fuck about an ugly fat ass 14 year old… I act as if someone actually DOES.. But no one does… Don’t say you fucking do. I’m not an idiot. It’s just an act. Hell. I could’ve hung myself today and my teacher would’ve felt guilty! For what? NOTHING! BECAUSE NOBODY GIVES A FUCK! NOBODY CARES! NOBODY WANTS ME AROUND! I might as well be fucking DEAD. I’m just a fucking ANNOYANCE. Everyone says differently, BUT I KNOW IT’S TRUE BY THE WAY THEY ACT. “Actions speak louder than words” they say. 14 years and I’m JUST now realizing that nobody […]
Will I have the guts tonight to send myself over the edge? Fueled by my hate for life, and my ‘best friend’ calling me spoiled. I’m pampered I guess.. Because I get more than her? I guess so. If I decide yes, why do I keep choosing Thursdays? If I do choose this night to die, I’m going to fill myself with hateful words, everything that’s been said to me, everything I’ve thought, and the fact that I’m a fat ass who deserves to die.
A Cutter’s Lullaby:
Go to sleep and close your eyes,
And dream of broken butterflies
That tore their wings against a thorn.
Sadness and pain. My best friends. Only friends. My only friends that left without me. Lately i have been seeing myself jump off the balcony and i can see myself hitting, releasing, escaping…goodbye goodbye…it feels better than this existence…where noone understands one another or really cares…im tired of life…i want to go away
I can’t do anything right.
I hurt everyone that cares about me.
I’m done.
being the worthless sack of shit,
that is to fucking cowardly to kill himself!
Im done with being nothing.
Soon i will just be a dead body.
and no one will cry.
im only 15
but i have to deal with my entire families shit.
if your reading this im sorry
for wasting your time.
Now I’m sitting here knowing that things are going down hill I’m losing everything and everyone. I am completely done. I have nothing left. I don’t even see the point in trying anymore. I see all these people laughing and smiling and I hate it. There for I don’t like who I am and change will not come because I’m me and that’s it. I can’t change if I tried. My life had been full of bullshit stuff that no one should say they went through. god did not put me here to be sad he put me here to make something of myself and I […]
“In the 1980s a man with severe OCD shot himself in the head in an attempt to commit suicide. Instead of killing him, the bullet destroyed the part of his brain that was responsible for his OCD, and went on to become a straight-A college student five years later.”
-http://wtffunfact.com/post/49304696345/ocd
maybe i should try that to see if i’ll die or get cured from my suicidal thoughts and depression….and other mental problems i have. theres still that possibility that i could end up handicapped or maimed if i survived though
dear mom dad if they take me away for trying to kill myself this time or if get what i want and die your just going to have to deal. Im tired man im just really tired.Sick of never feeling happy no matter what i do sick of relapsing.Sick of medication.sick of therapist always canceling.
well im done know it wasnt your fault but rather all mines cause i didnt try hard enough.maybe ill get my wish this time and regret what i did.Maybe ill back out of this thing monday but i very much doubt it. Theres a lot of bad things happening […]
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