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Paradox of Friendship

by Shigari
written by Shigari

Hi, SP, this is my first post here.

I wish to share my story. I know that many more people have it worse than me. I know that for most, my reasons seem to be selfish. I know that for most my reasons are not significant enough to give up upon. But, the paradox I can’t escape has led me to try to escape, to pray to never wake, and even to attempt to remove myself from this plane many a times. Here is my story.

If one were to look at me about 3 years ago I would be the genius, the prodigy of an affluent […]

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I don’t want to be here anymore…

by Engeltje
written by Engeltje

I’m done… Just wished I had a gun right now, so I could kill myself. I hate my life. I FUCKING HATE MY LIFE!!!
I’m NOT happy, I never was and I’ll never be. My parents don’t understand me, they only make me feel more worthless and lonely, like I’m a piece of trash, a mistake. Constantly have arguments with them because they don’t understand me. Therapy doesn’t work, medications doesn’t work. I’m just desperate… Don’t know what to do anymore. The only way out I see is killing myself, and actually it’s a pretty good option for me I guess. What’s life worth when […]

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X

by biru
written by biru

The reason I said I’m all right on my own is because I’d rather be alone because I chose to, instead of dealing with desperate attempt of socializing, only to receive rejection.

I feel like a puzzle piece that simply doesn’t fit.

I hate how they are all normal, being happy over happiness and being sad over sadness, and I am an emotional wreck instead. I hate worrying about things people don’t even remember. I hate how at some point they tell you they’ll stay and leave you the next day. I hate how I say how I feel only to get responses of confusion and mocks. I hate […]

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Been thinking about Hart Crane

by Twitch
written by Twitch

Know this guy?  One of the greats.  He offed himself.

http://www.learner.org/catalog/extras/vvspot/Crane.html

 

A Jest from the Speechless Caravan

(To the man who sold me the Brooklyn Bridge)

 

“Out of some subway scuttle, cell or loft

A bedlamite speeds to thy parapets,

Tilting there momently, shrill shirt ballooning,

A jest falls from the speechless caravan.”

 —Heart Crane

 

Raucous prophet of piston and steam,

Of lusty, symphonic gear and wheel;

Steeping the night in jackhammer dreams,

 

Why not the Bifrost road to Brooklyn?

Did water alone remain to love?

Did gravity weigh ostentatious?

 

Sad pilgrim of circular passage,

Seduced to the water nymph’s lethal

Kiss, honored laurite of the deep;

 

All is upon transformation’s edge.

Flesh surrenders to endurance but

What purpose is midwived in the deed?

 

What could […]

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“Friends”, I wish I could tell you this. Mom, dad, you guys too.

by Robiris
written by Robiris

No need to read

 

Who am I? Who should I be?

What am I? What should I be?

Questions that run through my mind daily.

Questions I never manage to answer.

I don’t know! All I can think is fuck this shit!

It’s hard, you know, being the good girl, being the

innocent girl, being the smart girl, being the helpful girl.

Do you guys even know how much I suffer!? Do you

know how hard it is to keep smiling, when there’s no

reason to smile!? Did you know that you are the

ones that destroyed me!?

Every day, I fall deeper into this black, black hole.

Every day I wonder, how to die without it looking […]

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My childhood friend

by telly34
written by telly34

I found out that my childhood friend committed suicide a few years ago. She was the daughter of my mother’s college roommate. I used to play with her when I was about five or six. She had been really overweight and depressed. I wish that I could have re-connected with her or something so that maybe I could have done something to help her.

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Slowly killing myself

by UZI - SUICIDE
written by UZI - SUICIDE

I am the most toxic person I know.. All I do is get high… All I am to anyone is a ticket to get high.. whether i might give it to you, sell it to you, or just hang out and get high, it is why you called.. No one calls me just to say hi… I want out of the life, I want out of life period… I think about killing myself almost constantly… I couldnt even guess a number of how many times every day I think about it.. practically non-stop… All of my relationships are based […]

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It’s Only A Matter Of Time (part 4)

by mortuarychic
written by mortuarychic

I’ve had it rough, but not as rough as some others. It make me feel bad about telling my story….. things could always be worse. Maybe I am just after the attention. Well the last segment of my story is recent. On April Fool’s the girl from the last segment, made her move toward revenge, as if stealing my “friends” wasn’t enough. She and her new little group decided the best was to make me suffer was by creating a Craigslist account. They posted an ad stating I was a gay man looking for nudes and easy hook ups. They said I was easy, that […]

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There is a life during and after depression…

by unattainable
written by unattainable

And it feels like I’m stuck between transitioning out of it.

I hate this feeling of emptiness, and yet at the same time it is a comfortable feeling. A feeling that I’ve lived with for all my life… Somehow being sad has adapted to a daily thought that is always waiting for me with open arms.

I don’t think I’ll be able to see what my life is like with my depression being resolved, there’s too much pain to go forward…

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down at the bottom again

by aroxx666
written by aroxx666

been awhile havent been here for about a year…tryed counseling and antidepressants shit dousent work dont ever belive that fucking joke its just money for them all you have in this world is yourself everything good goes away everything…nothing is constant and i cant handle that i need a constant someone something anything idk just i cant get thoughts out of my head everyday is living hell everything is a constant reminder of the hellish life ive lived really contimplateing suicide again im not strong enough for this shit anymore all i do id down drugs as a cruthc and it dousent work anymore i just […]

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Maybe it’s time

by dtw569
written by dtw569

I’m pretty sure I am mentally ill. I can’t explain exactly how I feel other than it hurts all the time. I’m just losing my mind. My wife of 11 years left me and I don’t know how to keep going. I know that I’m supposed to want to live for my kids but I can’t help feeling that they would be better off without me.  I have been made out to be a horrible person, and maybe I am.  I don’t know how to deal with how I feel and she didn’t either which is why we are apart.  I just don’t see the […]

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I’m posting these again, if you click on them they get bigger

by butterfly_free
written by butterfly_free

Click on these, they get bigger

 

nonviolentequalitywheel Non Violent Relationshipviolence_cycles_wheel   Cycle of Violencepowewheel1Violence

 

These are called wheels of power, its to help see the bad type of power and control vs. a more healthy relationship. Just ignore the he/she part – abuse can happen from females or males, obviously.  I was shown them at a crisis center. Maybe they can help someone.

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I don’t know anymore…

by BrokenAndDying
written by BrokenAndDying

I don’t know when I’m gonna die. I can probably pick a new date rather quickly, but do you guys have any advice on if I should do it during Summer or Fall? Also it would help if anyone knows really good methods that have more of a chance to work. I don’t want to fail this time. I can’t afford that, I need it to work and I just want to make sure my method will for sure work.

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Lonely and alone

by Jhardy
written by Jhardy

I am new here. I attempted suicide about 3 weeks ago, twice in less than 24 hours. The first time I was found by my siblings who got into my house and the second time, I was found by the police. I ended up in the hospital unconscious for two days and spent a further day in a ward with old people, who were bed ridden. I was under constant observation, not even able to go to the toilet unattended. As a psychology student, it was one of the most degrading and humiliating experiences of my life. I felt so ashamed facing my family after […]

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Panic

by exhausted24
written by exhausted24

My mind is racing and I feel out of control. All I think about is hurting myself. I’m scared. I have never felt this severe urge to bleed. I can’t do this. I’m crazy and alone. I’m going to die soon and nobody will notice if they do it will be relief  that I’m gone. I’m at the end. This is it. There’s no more light only darkness

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So much blood… Feels good

by exhausted24
written by exhausted24

Having been a cutter since I was 11 sometimes I have trouble getting blood to satisfy my fucked up mind… So today I put safety pins into the veins in my wrist and breast and it bled a lot. I had hope for a second I would bleed to death but sadly I’m alive. I just  want  to die. I should get a bigger needle

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