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I’m tired of lying. I hate pretending everything is okay. Because pretending everything is okay means lying…
all the time..
I don’t think i can do this anymore.
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General
i wish i could drink to the last drop..just get drunk everynight..to forget everything, to get some sleep..
the hangover..i dont mind, it’s easier to deal than this life.
music and pills are my  best friends.
No one knows, Â i’ve been pretendingt that i’m happy, Â masking things with smiles.
i wish i could vanish, dissapear …even better if i could die in no time.
death somehow is so peaceful, no yesterday, no tomorrow, just a silent stage and place …with no more pain and tears.
So I’m know I’m not the only one who is actively wishing and hoping that my life turns around soon and I magically become happy, or simply find a few real world (offline) friends to ease the feelings of loneliness….and yet while waiting for this to happen, wouldn’t mind if my life would just end.
I do not want to “commit suicide” though, because I know the pain this causes from family experience and I don’t want my family to know I was selfish enough to do that to them. Â But drugs – well an accidental overdose isn’t QUITE the same. If I overdose on pills, […]
This song is my 8th grade year. The year when I made a life time of mistakes. I guess there not mistakes if you keep repeating them. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6t-AgLT-LM
“I dont usually likes saying this to you over facebook mostly how lame it is, however if left unsaid i feel that the truth would just be gone sooner than can pass but im proud of you. im proud of how much youve taken advantage of tops. im proud of how much you bullshit you pushed through in the last while and most of all im proud of the fact that you havent givin up yet” 🙂
my old […]
well iv lost my friends to them calling me a atanchion seeker i was just lookinf for help thats all and james jump off the tamar brig copul weeks ago seems the ones who understand me kill them selfs iv spent mosr of my life all 16 years helping people and noe im looking for help ther trowing me away now that im spent of all my love and careing
its got to get beter right it cant get wors.. thats what i say to my self evrey day the lsd hs stopt working so has the weed and people say to me your still young you dont know […]
I wish everyone saw themselves as beautiful. The world would be a better place. I wouldn’t be anorexic.. I probably would not have social anxiety and depression I know my depression is not just because I think I’m fat and ugly but I think I would have gotten a lot better by now if I did not destroy myself with my own thoughts every day. Why does even matter to me so much. I hate when people give me attention I hate stares so why do I want to be beautiful and thin.
I have dealt with chronic depression and severe anxiety for years. I also have two neurological conditions, fibromyalgia and narcolepsy which give me horrible pain when I’m awake and horrible nightmares when I’m asleep. I feel very alone and there’s a voice in my head who says that it’s not worth it. I have pain pills in my bathroom and I know a handful of them would make all the problems go away, but I don’t take them. My mom lost two out of seven kids plus her husband and I don’t think she would take me dying well. I am not living for me […]
I went to my friends house last night. He told me to try a shot. I have nothing to lose so I did. The night ended with me taking 7 shots of vodka with some fruity stuff and some captain morgan. I have never felt so out of control. I can’t really remember anything that happened. But now I see why people drink. I never thought a fifteen year old girl like myself, would stoop to such a low level to escape the empty feeling even if it was only temporarily. I didn’t feel empty at the time, I felt warm and fuzzy and happy.
Huh? Funny. Not.
As of today I had a taste of that one step of ‘that-edge-of-the-cliff-stairwell’.
Just a taste, I’m still not sure if I’m ready to accept the To be/feel Disregarded step.
I’m not making sense. Because my mind is quite jumble as to what’s happening. I can feel the despair eating my insecurities.
My fingers are part of my emotion not my mind. I keep on typing, typing.
My God, I think I’m getting mad. As in the ‘nutcase’ kind.
This is to fast. Everything’s happening too fast. I’m not ready. I’ll never be ready.
That bottle is just there, a few steps away. 14 paces to be exact.
It […]
i’ve been sitting on the floor of my room for over an hour sobbing with my razors in front of me. i can’t take the pain anymore. i can’t take knowing how disappointing and how much of a failure i am. everything hurts and i just want it to end. i don’t want to have to stay here for anyone else but me. im so trapped and i can’t get rid of this feeling. i’m sick of pretending that i want to be alive
I dont understand, but recently, I hate everyone an everythhing bar a few very personal items. I have facebook and everything on it. I hate all my friends, and I hate my family. I am not sure what started it, but this hatred/disgust, annoyance/pity just fills me when I get around them. Its not one of those hatred that makes me want them to die, but that one where if i had the option to leave I would and never look back. Im just done. Eerything seems like crap nowadays, and I cant bring myself to care about anything bar my parents, my dog and […]
I’ve been trying to discover some meaning in life but keep coming to the conclusion that there isn’t one, because there isn’t. I wish I had a delusion like most people in order to get some fulfillment out of this, but I don’t, I never have, and I can’t lie to myself to create one. I’m too much of a realist, and I see how shitty this world is, and how pointless it all is and I just don’t want to be a part of it. I really hate life. Not mine in particular, although mine does indeed suck in many ways, but life in general. I […]
I’m bad at being a person, I’m bad at being alive. I’m bad at being worth it, heck, I can’t even survive.
I’m good at being a fuck up, i’m good at being sad, i’m good at having no luck, i’m good at being bad.
there are voices, and they yell, all the choices, and stroies they tell. there are demons, In my soul, and they eat me, they eat me whole. there are tears, streaming down, filling an ocean, i hope I drown. There is blood, spilling out, I really pray that, I’m not found.
I’m bad at giving love, I’m bad at giving hope, i’m bad […]
my dad caught on that im bi-sexual…he now hates me. he wants nothing to do with me cuz i defied his religion. and im now a gross psychopath with aids and shit haha ive never had sex but with a guy. and sure i make out with girls and ive had 2 gfs..but really who gives a fuck? thanks to religion my family has more problems.
If you choose one night to watch the stars this year, make it April 21st
by anonalabama
written by anonalabama
Don’t take it from me, take it from NASA!
Hi all,
I notice that a lot of people posting are in the US, and know that you do not have a national health service. So I’m curious, is there no support at all for people who are having mental health problems unless they have private medical insurance? Are there community services available?
im tired of my life. i just give and dont get. my mom needs me my dad needs me. some 16 year old friend of my mom needs me. i like her but turn she will probably never move to where i am even if i wait. she is not stable right now. my sister is always busy and not easy to talk to. my dad cut me out of his life. my mom just doesnt get how i feel. if i killed myself i would just be inconveniencing them. i woyldnt lose anything. yeah they care about me, but isnt every one supposed to? […]
nobody cares. admit it. you guys don’t either.
How the hell do you get a gun if you had a previous stay in a psych ward after a suicide attempt?
written by tupacorbiggie
How the fuck did letmesleep get his shotgun? Â I’d love to have a shotgun to blow my brains out with! Â ^_^