General

Wow. I never expected to be here. In the past I’ve never felt this way. I mean, I’ve never wanted to kill myself. But recently, it’s just hit me like a wave of depressing thoughts. It started in the back of my head, and slowly it’s moved forward. Now it’s all I can think about. The worst thing is that I don’t know why I’m thinking these thoughts. People say ‘It’s just your age’ or ‘It’s the hormones’ but I know it’s not (I’m 15 by the way). I can’t eat anymore. I’m just not hungry. I’m not full either. I’m just…. nothing. I pretended to […]

Because of the medication that i take I’m not suppose to have any caffeine. so when i go to college i drink plenty of energy drinks because it’ll boost up my energy to raise my mood til it dies down then its worse. i am always so tired the day after school that  i dont have class cus i cant have them to the point where im falling asleep standing up. i heard the giant monsters cenn kill u if more than 2 are consumed i drank way more then the amount of two nd im still here. they also get so addicting. anyone else have the same […]

Okay, so, I had my first serious relationship last year, he was my best friend and I loved him, anyways, stuff got in the way.. he broke up with me. My self-esteem had been very fragile well up until then, I dealt with an eating disorder throughout middle school and had looked at suicide as an option a few times in my life already. Anyways, he fell in love with my best friend. I felt as if she was the only one left that would listen to me and love me and now I feel like I’ve lost her too, I’ve lost everything. We all […]

Maybe this is just a trial run. It would take about 900 sleeping pills to kill me, according to my calculations and information on the web. I’ve taken only 40 so there ‘s clearly no danger of dying. What I’m hoping for is a deep sleep like death, and maybe I’ll learn if I want to go all the way or if it’s something that frightens me.

I did this a few years ago and found myself struggling for life, hating the feeling of losing control. But a few years of crap piled on me has changed things. This time the creeping unconsciousness feels welcoming. I […]

Yesterday I got into a fight with my parents. What they’re trying to do is sign me up for a summer camp that I don’t want to go. They say that I’m too isolated, and I am isolated. However, I’m isolated because of me having enough of hearing everyone scream at everyone else, and being with anyone becoming increasingly uncomfortable. I mean, though, when you’re brother is having a screaming fit over a computer game can you blame me for avoiding the situation?

Back on the subject of that camp; my parents have been trying to get me out of the house for several months now because my hiding […]

hello

im going to do this evrey day so i know im still alive and to vent all the shit so i dont do this on fb i mostly wight potry on here and been doing the rants on fb but i think i need to stop doing that cos it upsets people and i dont whant to do that so a bit bout me (sorry if i bore you) i have a multude of problems that for some reson have been put on my sholders with the normal 16 year old problems and wile do the pre jone cors for the paras wich i have […]

I should have just listened to my dad when he told me to just go take up business . Im not cut out for this shit… If anyone sees this and is thinking up on going to art school… if you dont have talent right now (im talkin about “still scribbling anime in the back of notebooks” kind of no talent) DONT FUCKING GO FOR IT. sure you learn things, maybe a lot of things but it wont amount to anything and if your real lucky you wont even get to graduate on time giving yourself an extra year or two of learning nothing. but […]

My brother has court Monday. I really hope he gets custody over my nephew he’s a great father. I get so depressed because everything gets blamed on him. The mother has problems, all she does is drink and my nephews always watching. She calls my brother a shitty dad but because she’s the one messing up.

Guys please pray for my brother, give him some luck he’s been fighting for his kid for 5 years now, and she always gets her way.

much love to all the kids out there who are struggling with divorce.

i’m ending my life…..actually right now as i’m writing this…..not as scared as i have been in the past When i’ve Continplated ending it or the few times i tried usually i’d get this terrible feeling in my body making me not be able to really go through with it……..STRANGE IM REALLY AT PEACE!…..i don’t know could be the pills kickin in. Anyway dont know what this site actually is or for? Just came accross it. Anyway just
Didn’t have anybody to say goodbye to so if anyone actually reads this…………..GOODBYE…..
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In a couple words you made me feel like I am nothing. I don’t cry no I don’t even flinch because I can’t let you know the pain you cause me. I love you so much. I don’t want you to see how weak I am. I can’t believe I’m lying to you. I don’t lie anymore. It feels like I changed when I met you. You said forever. You said so much I hope this is all true because I will not be hurt again. I’m ill to ill for you. You think you can do what you want with me because I’m fucked […]

I wonder where I´ll turn out to be following my death if even HE turned me down. Really. Where am I supposed to go? I don´t believe in Paradise or Hell. I don´t understand much of purgatories and sanctuaries. I only know there is some kind of Afterlife out there. There must be something. Something other than just dark void.

I’ve been at a real low for a long time now, and am trying to get back into the things I used to love, such as Youtubers and some of their sketches.

www.youtube.com/user/crabstickz

Just check out some of his sketches or even his vlogs. This man has brought a smile to my face. The first smile in a long time.