General

People are constantly asking what did they do? REALLY!!! PEOPLE IT IS NOT ABOUT YOU!!! Is it just me or do others see it as well? Sorry for yelling that! Were we that mean? Why are you mad at me? What did I do? People just stop for a second and realize that hello my life and my emotions are not centered around you. Ok?

Sorry just venting, another way that they try to guilt you into feeling better. I just want to be left alone get it?

Had a friend take me to a couple of doctor appts. the other day, and they had […]

After a bad broke down today my day was suprising good … hope my night is good too(please be good)

1000 feet 900 feet going down dont know what to do losing controle no that happund along time ago 500 feet my life is like this all day evrey day i whant to hane on but its harder and harder to do down down down bang crunch the sond of shering metel and bolts brake berst bons braking blood floowing its so hard if i gust had a bath and sleept rest finly all the wate on me gon for good floting…………..

With all my procrastination expunged from my very soul, desire diminished to the very bare requirements unable to muster effort for the simplest of menial corporeal tasks, all hope reduced to infinitesimal proportions the time must finally be at hand. A calm settles the spirit like never before, 2 roads perceived in all probable possibility one swift the other swifter a 3rd emerges to laminate potential by diminishing ones self once more to perpetuate the lucid mare that besieges me still.

Nay be the rallying cry to concede to pestilence not of my own, condemning my struggle to the inevitable I idolize in my sullen ways. […]

I’m so alone. I’m constantly trying to find a reason to stay, a talent, a person who cares, or even a sign. I’m willing to believe anything at this point. There’s something wrong with me, I know there is. I feel as if I’m a compulsive liar who is just hungry for attention. At this point, I don’t want attention. I don’t want pity. I don’t have the problems everyone always assumes you have  to be sad about and I think that’s why I feel like this sadness is all in my head. I have every reason to be happy they say, even though to […]

I’m so angry all the time. Every time I see a person I feel like punching them in the face. I think it’s my minds way of coping with feeling left out and alone. Instead of being sad and feeling miserable, I’m mad and violent. I don’t think it’s a good solution. One of these days I’m going to snap, and hurt someone. Someone innocent. A good person. Someone who isn’t like me.

I wasn’t always like this. Once, I was happy. I was friendly.
But now.. I’m angry. Just so angry.

I honestly did not expect this I had a really bad day yesterday really bad I ended up smoking and drinking again normally I would be mad at myself. I promised my boyfriend I would quit because he thinks it not a good way to cope I know he’s right. I just sometimes don’t care because I hurt really not an excuse just my reasoning. I full of bad ideas but people always tell me I act like there is nothing to lose. I have one thing I could lose and came very close to last night I’m pretty sure he’s the only thing keeping me alive […]

If you could save yourself,
you could save us all.
Go on living, prove us wrong.
Your leap of faith could be a well-timed smile.
Survival never goes out of style.

A simple rule: every day be sure you wake.

It sounds so like school or work, like a task something you have to do! I guess I wouldn’t be here if it was something I didn’t feel I had to do, right? So bravo for aptly naming this sight, lol. Thank you!

Why someone might ask, well maybe, at least for me it is just deserts. To me my whole existence has been a search for significance a reason to exist, and ultimately all I come up with is the ability to push people away thinking if I can remain unattached that I will never hurt. If I can remain aloof and unfeeling no […]

There’s so much pain on this website. I wonder what would happen if we all left our lives to live on some island together, start anew. Would our situations improve? Would many of us find we no longer dream of killing ourselves, surrounded by people who understand? Or would our society end up very similar to this one? Put a bunch of people together, even those that seem similar, and you’re still going to have some friction.

I feel like I’ve been whiny lately. Sorry if I’m annoying. I should probably post less. I do listen to what […]

I’d finally end it, but I’m scared that I’d mess up and live and everyone would resent me more than they already do.

Every where i go i feel embarassed and like im being judged and im probly not but i believe it. My sister always yells at me and gets mad at me for no reason and i have to blow it off cause i get in trouble if i yell back cause shes older. If i go to church then the girls there think i wear to much makeup and think i wear low tank tops. I try and make everybody happy but its like i can never be happy cause im making everybody else happy. Everyday i fight myself when i want to cry and […]

this god damn depression began 1 april 2012 , first it was hypochondria and big stress about health issues but than it evolved into something more sinister than I expected – depression . In june 1st i stopped feeling anything at all I began to feel empty , stopped going out with friends I played all thay long games at the PC , and some of my friends stopped calling me… Than after 2 months playing games 15hr/day I looked at the mirror at my skinny body, pale skin , and thought what the fuck is happened this psychosis destroyed me. I’ve lost some of […]

“Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee?”