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the month of february has been quite eventful for me. unfortunately none of the events have been good. mentally i am a mess. underneath the usual depression there is a sense of panic stricken terror. something awful is coming but i can’t identify what it is. something is going on with my physical health. bp is way high which is unusual for me. the jitters, dizziness and sense that i am not in control are scaring the shit out of me. it is like one badass panic attack that continues day after day. usually when i am stressed like this i write. but lately i […]