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Even though I’m not depressed anymore and nothing bad is happening. I still consider suicide, I know for a fact that’s the way I’m going to die. I’m clear headed and everything. I’m most likely going to OD on heroin or drown myself (: And I don’t listen to people saying “Ohhh your going to hell” There’s not 1 verse in the bible that is against suicide, and it’s not the unforgivable sin 😀
My meds probably have me all “happy” and shet, I hate it I’m not really happy, I’m on drugs for christ sake lol. ANYONE ELSE think the way their gunna die is […]
I do not want this. I want to be somewhere else. I understood I can’t deal with love. I can’t love, I can’t love the way you do. The way I love is: I live him/her, that means I should leave him/her alone so that person can be happy. When I feel the “I want to be with you” love it’s pretty weird, because all I want is just run away, I feel like I want to throw up.
My doubts have been confirmed; my dad is an alcoholic. He’s as depressed as I am, and he wants this back to normal. I miss being a […]
I’m feeling so down. All I want to do is laying in my bed, sleeping, crying and cutting. I know I have to go to therapy every monday till friday from 9 am till 3 pm, but I really don’t want to do ANYTHING right now. I’m getting more scared and paranoid every day. Getting scared that someone is following me, or wants to steal my bag or purse. That kind of stupid things. I want to evade them, so I stay inside as much as possible. But the only thing I really want besides wanting to die, is just laying in my bed, sleeping, […]
It’s getting easier and easier to pretend the rest of the world doesn’t exist.
Thinking about suicide used to vaguely panic me somewhere in my brain, whereas now it’s more of a comfort. It feels familiar. I like reminding myself that it is an option.
I’m going to go to the GP and tell him i’m not sleeping. I’ll keep the sleeping tablets in my room just in case. I just need to know I have them there.
Part of me thinks I should try and fix my head while I’m still not immediately wanting to die right now. Most of me can’t see the point. I wish […]
I can’t cope, I feel so hopeless and pained. My friend has just publically humilated me with her boyfriends help and got others to join in, she knows how vunreable i am right now and for her to do this hurts so much to me. I want to die, I want to die so badly, I sat in my living room by my family wishing so much that I could walk upstairs and slit my wrists so deep and just bleed to death. I slowly walked upstairs, picked up my razor crying and cut.
But ofcourse I only did it how i usuall did it, staight horizontal lines […]
I’ve come to the realization that living with these suicidal thoughts will probably never go away. This is my first time trying out an online community for suicide/depression or what have you because I feel I am running out of options. I feel I have no one who I can talk to in my life about these issues due to the deep shame that comes with them. Even though I feel I have a good support system, I don’t like feeling like I’m burdening those I love with all this I go through on a daily basis.
Getting to the point, I’ve realized that I am too scared to actually […]
flashing back into reality
stomped out by the gravity
every situation ways
more or less its all the same
days go by, time flys by
its a repeated cycle
cant never break the cycle
same shit different day
thats the way it always plays
whats one place from another
wheres the love my hateful brother?
i thought i could be made
if only i played the game
i played it to the end
where i learned you never can win
play to be played and stay to be stayed
who stills the hand and bares the water?
where the love in ever after?
what must be done to change the tide?
to turn back the clock and take the time
no one knows but everyone […]
My birthday is on February 1st, this Friday, and I asked my mom
if we were going to do anything, an innocent question, right?
Her car hasn’t had a renewal sticker since November, which means its illegal for her to drive anywhere.
She and I had lost our jobs before the winter started, meaning we’re becoming dirt poor and can barely afford to keep anything we have.
I have a court trial coming up soon because of a statutory rape charge on my ex-boyfriend
I find myself thinking about hurting myself a lot or simply ending my life, but it would just put my family into more of a […]
Today I recall all the times I felt how it all would spin out of control. In my teens it was my grades, my friends, my home life. Nowadays it’s cash flow, job retention and paying the bills.
Today, I found out my wife is carrying a daughter.
I have never wanted to be alive as much as I do today and tomorrow and the day after that.
My wedding day was nice.  But today is the first day my life has felt sweet.
I wish you all feel this. It’s worth the struggle to get here.
Who can point a finger at what’s not understood, when you can’t explain why you don’t know a thing
He’s always got his headphones in and he talks to no one, he has a frown on his face and dresses in dark shadesÂ
He sits by himself, alone all the time, when he tries to talk, you all look with judging eyes, but he’s not dumb, he ain’t blind
And maybe he goes home and thinks suicide
Who can point a finger at what’s not understood, when you can’t explain why you don’t know a thing
She’s always been a slut, always been so fun, but she’s trying […]
i really love her.i don’t know what i should do.she has left me and it has been few days since days.i tried a lot to hate her.but i am not able to do that.oh jesus please i can wait for her my whole life but please tell her to come back to me….i love her.i love you and i really do.
i can’t even talk with her because i know what she is going to tell me.she is just going to tell me that she doesn’t have feelings for me and that is really going to hurt me badly.that is why i have just cut all […]
I was going to post a short story and pose the question whether or not my life has been worthwhile and ask myself if I would be better off never being born or committing suicide as a teenager. (I am a lot older now). It got rather long.
Of late my rants have gotten rather lengthy and I found this one to be getting the same. I am not sure that my condensed life story and my trials and tribulations would help anyone on this list except the elderly. Old people seem to be a great minority at this web site. I decided to sit on […]
Apparently I’m not supposed to post hateful or mean things here. Well , my hate isn’t directed at random people on this site. Am I allowed to hate the people I know? Do I even hate them? I’m sick of them certainly , they bore me. Am I allowed to ramble on like this? I quite like it. So here’s my deal. I don’t like life , I don’t like people , that’s certainly nothing new , everybody’s heard that a billion times I bet. But you see , I really don’t like people . I pity them . Watching all of these little people run around […]
Thinking about suicide everyday…thats where I am in life now. Smoking when I’m not always on the move, smoking when I am on the move, thinking about suicide during it all…. I can’t just sit by and feel this hurt anymore. I can’t let those around me shove me towards progress when I’m just getting worse. They don’t understand how hard it is for me…how hurt I am… All they care about is that in the next month I am better. That’s how its been told to me. I don’t need sympathy or pity. I just want death.
A promise is a promise
No matter how dumb.
A promise is a promise
No matter how strong.
I keep my promises
But this one, no?
I want to die
And this time ill go..
People are so miserable, arrogant, and in most cases, idiotic. Why should I have empathy for any of them?
Jake walked alone after school that day. He walked in silence, his footsteps made no noise against the wet pavement. The sun was blocked out overhead, and the rain began to fall again. Jake didn’t care, he didn’t have anywhere to go anyway, if he went home he would probably get beat by his dad. He didn’t want to become like his dad. An abusive drunk, who was never sober at home. He wanted to be like his uncle. He wanted to go to college and become an engineer. he wanted to go somewhere in life and get out of this city of hell. All […]
It’s a strange feeling, to lay next to someone
someone who is wonderfully good to you
and instead of happiness
the thoughts that race through your head
are how much you miss someone else
and how you wish you’d rather die
because you won’t feel the warmth of being next to that someone else
again
In the dark of the night
hearing his breath in my ear
I tell myself to let the quiet hours wash away
to let slumber kill the loneliness
so that I may live another day
I’m going to get completely fucked off my face and stand in front of a truck.