General

Been fighting for this boy for so long, now I’ve got him it feels so wrong.
Like its getting way to serious way to quick.
And I don’t even feel like I’m in a relationship, even though I am.
I felt like he was going to make my happy but now, I’ve lost that.
It’s an uncomfortable feeling and its getting bullshit.
I don’t know what to feel anymore.
One minute he’s the best thing ever and now he’s just a boy.
A clingy over protective boy.
I don’t know what I’m doing anymore.
What’s wrong with me?
How can I be head over heals […]

First I’m Skinny ,

Then I’m Fat.

First  You’re  This

And Now Your that.

Second Im stupid,

After I’m Dead.

But  Did You See Me?

When I put this gun to my head?

Give me your dreams.

Give me your hopes.

All is forgotten

When I hang myself with this rope.

I’d dreamed of this day

For years and years.

You’ve held me back,

But brought my tears.

As many as this world’s hills,

I’ll take these pills.

Deep in my sorrow.

Deep in […]

Since most people here are around half my age (I’m 30), I thought I might share a little wisdom about living with a chronic mental illness, as I’m sure most of you do.

First off, two things (Please read both comments before leaping to conclusions; I’m not trying to patronize you):

You are probably well aware of this, but it bears being said: you are most likely not going to kill yourself. You are more likely than not going to live another 60 to 70 years, if not longer.

Secondly:

If you don’t die early due to suicide or other causes, you are going to have to live with […]

As protected as a human being to a mob
As important as a mob to a King
As weak  as a king to a god
As existent as a god to a non believer who doesnt believe in anything

Im in the eigth grade, and already so many things have made me lose hope for my life. I dont want to be here. Nobody wants me to be here. My friends dont even like me. My parents hate me, im so depressed, ive started doing drugs and smoking pot, now they hate me. Even though they smoke pot too. They hate having to deal with me. I know it. They wish they had a normal daughter. One that doesnt ask to go get checked if she has depression.  No kid of theirs should be on pills for depression.  Even though they are on pills […]

You know somethings not okay when you dont feel safe on SP

I am new to this site, and submitted two posts this evening (Europe), which were pending for at least 1 or 2 hours, and now I find them in the trash. Why were they not posted? I don’t get it. I find lots of other posts in the trash that don’t seem to violate any reasonable rules there might be. Can someone explain? Thanks.

I moved to a new city this month. New place, New school. New people… New Me…

I was pretty much forced to change my appearance and i was forced to hide my sexuality. I feel like a little doll made to please everyone, but  i don`t. That school is a living hell for me. So many people that i don`t like so many people that ignore me… i try talking and try to make friendships, but everyone ignores me. It`s a huge school and i get very nervous around crowds and it terrifies me, the only thing that keeps me from having a breakdown is my […]

I’ve wanted to die for awhile but i’ve always been afraid of suicide. The thought of what i’d leave behind… I always worried about other people… what they would think, if they would blame themselves, and if I would in turn ruin their lives. I thought of it as selfish, but that didn’t stop the undying want i had to give up, to surrender.

But today, in the hour and a half i spent crying over all my problems and all my feelings, i decided im not afraid. I’m exhausted, worn out, tired… call it what you will but i’m just done… my sorrow has […]

So Im kind of tired of talking to girls and then them saying how much they like me and stuff and then them saying well Im talking to someone else. Im a girl, I like girls. I wish I was straight though because all these girls don’t know what they want or get jealous of my best friend who is a gay guy. It’s just aggravating, I guess. Am I doing something wrong?

If you’re serious about it, and it’s pure and not some bullshit reason then I think it makes you a better person. It’s all wrong inside my head, but if that is the case I think it’s because that I’m all wrong because the world isn’t right.And suicide is the ultimate way of saying I can’t exist here because I can’t say that I’m okay with this being the world we live in. And in my heart of hearts, I really can’t think of a better reason to choose this path. Given I’ve had this darkness since I was about 14, you could say I’ve […]

You guys would be happy to know that after a joking and laughing talk with my family about suicide, they found out today what I eventually want to do! Well, now a certain person won’t allow me anywhere near his guns, even if it means not letting me stay at his house for any length of time till I’m over wanting to die over this current situation, and my horrible grandparents. And nobody will get me a rope or help me make a make-shift gallows. Most other methods are hard so I’m not interested at this stage. A plastic bag would be easy enough if […]

I came back from the dead
I have so many scars embedded in my skin
Remind me of days gone by
Remind me of the years that have passed
I stood my ground to come out better off
I take it in, every breath, it could be the fucking last

I come from a town that will always be home
So many memories that will die with me

Try and cut me down to my knees
I will stand back up to fight
Try and cut me down to my knees
Nine lives I just won’t die