For general topics related to the site.
Note to self- remember always the eternal aspect of the universe and it may just lighten some of the weight of this world off my heart.
F#ck 2025 and all that follows.
Massacre in New Orleans on NY Day- 15 killed
This comes after a woman was set on fire and burned alive in a NYC subway. Then a few days later, there was another person (man) set on fire on the NYC subway.
5 young teens (~13yo) gang beat an elderly man to death. And filmed it (gen z, ofc). Good thing these POS’s filmed their crimes (not only them but tons of other criminals), bc otherwise, police would never do anything.
One of the posters here on SP said there’s all sorts of craziness going on in Europe- well- America has […]
i’m intensely embarrassed that i don’t know how to kill myself, even after so much searching on the internet, if i told someone i’d turn red from the shame. kids have accidentally strangled themselves to death with only their hands for a stupid challenge. this must mean that i’m not motivated enough to attempt, i’m relatively fine if i don’t think about it. another thing i’m trying to ignore. it’s been 6 years since i’ve shared happiness with people, laughed genuinely with someone i could call a friend. i really need to die before i go insane and maybe hurt someone. it’s my worst nightmare, […]
I got some emotional news today. My cousin who is three years older than me is still alive. I had been living for the last year or two on equal understanding that she might be dead. I didn’t want her dead, but it’s a hazard of how she’s living her life.
Her being alive though, that’s shocking. Turns out she had syphilis and smoked some fentynyl along the way, see what I mean? Her being alive is a rather amazing thing. She’s turning 40 this year. I wonder if I’ll see her again.
Sometimes I wonder if my whole family is under some sort of supernatural pact […]
Well I screwed myself again. I don’t have access to the lab anymore. Great. I already submitted the form for my access to be extended to June, but it seems I can’t get in today. Don’t know if it’s for the holiday or what. I submitted the form again and realized what screwed my. My fucking advisor needs to approve it. When I submitted the form before, it was just after the semester ended. The fucking guy can’t be bothered to read his email during the semester most of the time, he aint going to read it […]
In the lab. Been in the lab these past 3 weeks (I’ve lost track) except for a handful of break days (Christmas and all that). Just staring at the thing. I’ve dissembled and re-assembled at least maybe a half dozen times? I’ve lost count. I count any sort of disassembly of the inner modules and threading cables through the origami as disassembled. I’ve thought about it, but it would have probably saved more time to take it apart piece by piece and slowly and carefully put it back together. It would save me from having to reopen it […]
Every year I dive ever deeper into the wonders of our wide scope of Christmas media and add a few more movies to the pile. I don’t like to repeat all of my past discoveries, because some of them are bad and others have already done their job. I have a complicated relationship with the season, this year being unemployed I’m medium cranky. I have a strong love for Christmas horror and bad movies though, and this year like every year delivered both.
I guess that’s where I’ll start,
The Mean One (2022)
Some years ago I was in South America, I was not getting on with the party I was with, that’s no reflection on her and no reflection on me either. I had been experimenting with ‘Paid ladies’, I didn’t think she would find out, it’s hard to say how she found out but in the end she found out. She waited until it was late one night and moved against me ” get the fuck out of this apartment you fucking ****, I know what you did, you’re obsessed with your dick, you make me sick, get out of my sight” she said. You might […]
at 3:52pm on august 15, 2024, i attempted to commit suicide to flee from the foul words that escape the mouths of vile people, to flee from the troubles i must push through every day, to flee my imperfect body and personality affected by my severe depression so i can transform into another being. i, however, failed thanks to leaving my computer on. the pleading messages of my best friend were left on read, plainly on the screen of my computer. his words stunned me. he desperately wanted to know if i was okay. he cared to know if i was okay. tears fell from […]
If you wanna feel sad, then laugh at the end of this clip, watch this:
Apparently, it’s an old ad from back in the day.
Hell, some of y’all weren’t even born yet O_o
~45s
Hearing this song for the 1st time tonight/this early morning.
Intense Anger and Hatred Against This World?
I’m sick of this sick world- and by sick- I mean the whole “normal” population are also fucked up. They are just able to keep a job- but doesn’t mean the rest of the people in the world aren’t fucked up. Hell, maybe they are MORE fucked up- so apathetic toward humans and human suffering.
Like how many ppl don’t give AF about any of the wars, dead men, women and children, don’t even flinch when hearing all the stories of sick parents who had their daughter melt into the couch, or the parent/guy who stapled the kid to the wall, […]
even bothered to text me “Merry Christmas?” Well, if you said NO ONE, you’d be right.
That’s exactly how I feel.
What’s so “wonderful” about Christmas anyway? Especially for those that don’t have loving supportive families? -_-
It’s been a long time since I’ve been in here but I honestly didn’t know where else to go to get these thoughts out of my head. I’ve been doing better, been in therapy for nearly a year now, been on meds ( I really don’t think they do much but it helps others believe I’m better), we just got a cat last week and honestly that cat is the only thing keeping me going right now. I have a loving boyfriend I’ve had for nearly 6 years who told me he is going to propose within the next year. But tonight my brain just […]
I’m wondering if most of us here feel like we’re failures/losers/lagging behind everyone else?
It sure is the case for me- I was on the up and up- did everything I needed to- and then…lost my confidence, reeled into depression, lost more confidence, reeled into worse depression, leading to losing more confidence, leading to a bottomless pit of depression.
I fucked up- I shouldn’t have quit back then- I haven’t been able to pick myself up since. And I had a slew of shit happen since then, which wouldn’t have happened had I not made the fateful mistake/decision.
Yes I know, none of us have […]
I have an overall plan.
Things overall are better, probably doing the best I’ve ever done monetarily, which helps, but I have a ways to go.
I tried to stop playing video games, that did not last. However, I’m finding I’m not enjoying them like I used to. I react to them and certain other things, but at some point I just feel a bit indifferent, like I’m playing some of them out of obligation.
I don’t care for wrestling either, one of the things I enjoyed since I was a child. Haven’t watched any of it in over a year now. I keep up with storylines here […]
When I was 13 I was sleeping over one night at a friend of a friend’s house. I took one look at the mother and fancied her. She was of a slim figure, good genetics, hair tied back in a ponytail and wearing stilettos, the stilettos would feature prominently later on. The friend of a friend had a brother who was a bit older than us about 17. The hot mother came into were we were and said “Don’t make too much noise, don’t wake up the baby, if you wake up the baby….” This was a threat, I knew from my own mother who […]
After decades of being screwed in life, and especially by shitty people, I now HATE 90% of all humans. Well, mainly all the people I’ve encountered and interacted with IRL.
BUT- random strangers like annoying fucking kids screaming or running wild all over the place also annoy TF out of me, and ESPECIALLY the shitty parents who don’t give AF.
I get easily annoyed by random strangers like above, or ppl yapping loudly on their phone while on the bus/train and you can’t escape it.
The whole world annoys TF out of me. I wonder what % of ppl are like me, like this? […]