For general topics related to the site.
I am lost under the weight of my own insignificance and impotence (not sexually speaking, mind you).
Life is some kind of joke.
I am the punchline.
Category:
General
I don’t even know if I am posting this in the right spot or if anyone will even see it. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m a normal kid. Early 20’s.. apparently decent life. But I seriously wish I were dead. I may not struggle financially thanks to my parents (I do not live at home, but they financially support me. pay my rent, etc.) I do work, though. I have never posted about this stuff online and I don’t even know how to word whats going on in my head. I may not struggle financially and sometimes I feel like god gave […]
I find my self made cuts/scrapes on my arm to be beautiful. I like looking at them.
I actually feel really proud of myself for making them. (even though I’m proud of them I still try to hide them from my family)
Is that weird? ..
Sigh, although I  like them, I still feel like I’m crazy because I did that to myself. I feel like I am not okay in the head now because I was willing to do this … I don’t know, I’m thinking that was my first and last time though. Overall, I love these healing cuts. Love them
you know its intresting.I start to think more about what if i do succede what my death will mean if it actually happens.and a little bit o topic okay ive heard a lot of people saying barbiturates are the only medication that will kill you not you.Ive overdosed a lot in the past when im not cutting or burning or drinking nasal spray.I almost died from the use of sleeping pills and lithium which i was taken off of right after.Now i find there are different types of suicide.Some people i wouldnt consider suicidal cause there just bored with life its not really emotion.Some people […]
Considering abortion is making me think the only way out of this is death.
I had a day. A date. It was planned. I knew how I was going to do it. I didn’t care. did never knew it was possible to feel so dead and empty and feel so much pain all at once. I didn’t know how much a few simple words could hurt. I didn’t know how good cutting felt. I just didn’t know. I don’t know how I got here, to this position. I look down and see the cold blade slide across my wrist.
I had a day. I didn’t care. I was hurting. Nothing else mattered. I needed a way out.
Then, I got a […]
I wear a smile well, it’s my best accessory
I do it because I know it’s necessary
Behind the smile it’s revealed I’m dying inside
And it’s amazing the world buys all the lies.
Nobody will ever know
That the pain doesn’t let me go
It will haunt me until the day I die
I don’t want my tears to stain the world outside.
Trapped in a world I’m not good enough for
What am I still doing here?
Only in death will I find some of bliss
I know that I won’t be missed.
Rumors are such a terrible thing. Wether its something that is a result of Chinese whispers, or wether it’s done intentionally, I don’t know. Now i’m not someone who is bothered by rumors, because most of the time they’re things that have not even a single brush of truth and they actually are quite humoros when it comes to the stupidity.
But this last rumor really got me.
The rumor going round (at the only boys school which my boyfriend attends – I think boys are more gossipy than girls!) was that I only go out with my boyfriend because I wanted a boyfriend, not because I […]
I’m not one of those girls who get depressed by a boy dumping them. I’m one of those people who have very low self esteem, hates their mom, and friends who don’t understand/ ignore the problem. I am only 15 and I am having a lot of problems with myself, nobody knows (well now you do) but in my life just two of my friends one, Rebecca but it seems like she doesn’t really care or just ignores it, and my friend who lives in florida i met him in the internet he actually seems like he cares (i think) hes been really nice to […]
Last year at this time I was high on life ad thought nothing could go worn(I wasn’t ACtually high just like happy high) and now this year I’m so close to sucide and it sucks. I can feel myself being dragged I to a hole I want to escape but I know I have to go into this dark tunnel. I want to give up dance I loved being called a good dance but with that Ryle every one expects u to be a amazing or they want to bet you or your friends don’t talk to you anymore because they think your being snotty […]
I have an overwelming desire to end it all I have a two hour window oftime to plan how Ireally dont know what to Itryed many times before I’m a failiar
This website has been so beneficial for me these past several months. About 6 months ago i was on Google looking for things such as “why should i not kill myself? There is no one that is going through what i’m going through.” Finally, I stumbled onto this website. After reading several articles, I figured out that I am not alone with the pain and loneliness. Last year at school was so hard for me. My best friend for a long time asked a girl out and she said yes. He barely knew her, only for that year. I was thinking that when i did […]
I’m going to start off by saying that my life itself isn’t horrible. I was not molested as a child, my parents don’t hit me. From a distance, it must look pretty great. Which is why it makes it so incredibly difficult to make it through the day.
No, my parents may not hit me, but they’re never here and it hurts. People called me a spoiled ***** and get mad when I complain about no one ever being home, because my life is ‘perfect’, right? I would trade all of my useless, meaningless shit to have my parents be home one night when I fall […]
Um hey everyone my name is Bri I’m 14. I’ve been through some things We all have I guess this is why we are on this website. I’m not the prettiest or the skinniest girl out their I know that… Getting made fun of every day at school you know really gets to you. Getting pushed in to lockers and people bumping into you on purpose. Or having some one call you out in front of everybody getting called names like ugly, fat, loser, stupid, spit, Mexican, border jumper, immigrant, ect. It really got to me I remember the first time I cut I was […]
Once again, a long stream of depression has hit. Went to sleep crying last night, and woke up crying.
So I cut. It’s almost been a month, and my parents finally are letting me sleep in my room since the last time that they saw my cuts.
I decided my wrists and hands made things too obvious. So I would go on my thighs. That small area that is hidden by the sides of a bikini bottom. I lost my glass that I use to cut, so I used a needle, which doesn’t really cut. It just takes off a later of skin 🙁 I heard my […]
well it has been a long time since I didn’t write… And thanks to that and all the stress of school I realised my unimportance. Everyday that passes keeps making me just want to die. They can’t notice. Obviously they can’t I seem  to be so much better. They think I have overcome DSH and ED, but I haven’t. I just feel alone, hopeless, without someone to count on. Literally I just want to finish everything. This week has been the hardest, since my last day of school I can’t stop remembering everything, I went through with him**Long story, if you want to know ask** I wish everything was as it used to be a year ago, it just […]
Hi, im new here, i dont know exactly what to do, but ill tell my story. Im 16 years old and currently been in america for 7 years. For 9 years i lived in spain with my biological father.He was an alcoholic, went out every night and got drunk. He abused me, my mum and my brother every night when he came home. Â When i was about 6, both of my parents were at work, and my nanny was asleep. My brother sexually abused me. I thought it was a game,and he made me promise not to tell anyone. I kept it. and i forgave […]
I’ve never been on any type of website like this.. i just kind of needed some people to talk to that actually can relate and understand how i feel. I thought I was moving forward.. i really did… I tried to commit suicide about 2months ago and it honestly scared the hell out of me.. After that night of almost having my stomach pumped i knew i had to get better…. but now.. I am starting to feel the same as before I committed suicide.. i have the urge to cut the hell out of my wrists and I’m always holding back tears.. i feel […]
It’s sad when the people who are suppose to love you are the ones that hurt you the most. I try and confide my feelings to them and I’m left feeling worse than I originally did. Thanks Mom for ignoring who I am and pretending my problem doesn’t exist. Thanks Dad for dismissing my feelings and treating me as your verbal punching bag. Thanks sister for being a constant reminder of what I missed out on.