General

I’m not good enough for ANYBODY. Not for family nor friends. NEVER. I can never satisfy anybody. I always do SOMETHING wrong. Fuck man, do you know how frustrating that is?! I just want to die; that way I won’t disappoint anybody. Yup, I should just kill myself! I don’t give 3 shits if that doesn’t make certain people happy. It makes ME happy. The thought of dying brings me so much fucking joy. If someone would go up to me and say “I’m going to kill you”, I would cry of happiness and worship that person. Thats what I want- to stop breathing. I […]

I’m so ready.

I want it over with.  Tonight.

But I’m a coward.

So I’ll slice myself apart, and go to sleep, and wake up and go to school and live my life even though more than anything, I want tonight to be my last.

There are people out there that are suicidal and “normal people” ( as in no depression or anxiety) don’t have a clue. It’s not hard to notice that someone is isolating themselves from the public eye. I myself am isolated, friends ask if I wanna do something and I make up an excuse. They know of my suicidal history but they don’t support. I’ve heard from many suicidal people that their friends do the same. Why do they do that? Friends say “I’m here for you no matter what” and “Don’t try to kill yourself I love you” but yet they don’t bother to ask […]

Been there.
Done that.
Will try.
But fail.
Recover.
And repeat.

Itz kinda funny i just found this out today from this website, I ordered a suicide ribbon three days ago, funny cuz it should be in my mail box tomorrow.. anyway, if u want a magnet ribbon, i can post the website, its 5 or 6 bucks

Ive started taking care of my business, things to do b4 i exit, and its going well, so idk how the fuck im going to die, ive tryed hangging 3 times but guess dont have the ambition for that method, damn, i need my gun bakk, anyway.. mabe charcol gas grill will be the way… Im 26 and i know the way im going, i wont make it till december.. il be dead by then.. but im making the best of my last days and look forward to death like never b4…

Wow. Long title.

Fuck life, right?

I had such a good yet fucked up weekend, And I actually get this feeling that next week might, MIGHT, be okay.

It’s just a shame that not everyone can feel how i’m feeling. It’s sad, this world.

And now family. Yey for family. Who the fuck needs them? Because I don’t think I do… :/

Maybe I should just go? Like runaway, Maybe? I don’t know where I would go.

I don’t know what to do. I really don’t.

Things will be okay, Nat. They will… One way or another.

You can do this.

I …. loneliness hurts everywhere. Its a very interesting type of pain because it is not associated with a neuron receptive interaction. I just don’t have any friends. And not for a long time, I am not too sure why. Its hard because I don’t have money at all. I don’t ever have petrol money or money to phone anyone. I guess im just not a likable person. Oh I also suffer from bipolar disorder and a fairly rare form of demishia, add a dash of paranoia and low self esteem and … well … its not that im even sad , I don’t know […]

I don’t really know what I’m supposed to say here. Or at all really. I just kind of got to this website and…I dunno here I am. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I don’t know what to do. Can anyone really tell me what the point is? We live for 60+ years just to die. That’s really it. We work our asses off and hurt and bleed and for what? We all end up the same in the end. Dead. Why even wake up tomorrow? It means nothing. I just wish I could…evaporate. Just disappear. Cease to exist. Not have to deal with […]

My parents will probably read this, this will be the only thing on my computer because I deleted all my history just not this site. I’m gonna leave my home in an hour with my bike (it’ll be dark by then) and I’m going to jump in front of a train. I really hope I don’t fail or someone saves me. I’m just scared of doing this, but I just got to. I really hope it doesn’t hurt. Mum, dad, little brother I’m gonna miss you all 🙁 it’s not your fault, but mine. I’m so sorry! This is my fav song, just so you […]

I have had a very rough life. I went into foster care at the age of 4. Grew up in group homes and became a runaway at the age of 12.  Never knew what it was like to feel love from a parent and my siblings were separated from me. The feeling of isolation and just not belonging has always been with me.I became a cutter at 7 years old.I always felt suicidal and spent my early teen years in and out of hospitals for cutting. I finally attempted suicide November of 2003. I overdosed on Heroin and pain pills. The odd thing was I […]

My life has been slipping away for a few years now.  My wife of 22 years has just left me and filed for divorce.  My kids want little to do with me now.  My once successful business is starting to fail.  I have no friends anymore because most were driven away by my wife and I let it happen.  My brothers and sisters don’t want anything to do with me because I ignored them for years because my wife hated them too.  My health is detiorating and I just don’t have much will left for anything.  I’m not sure I want to die but I […]

Exhausted and feeling like total hell.

Excuse me while I go puke until I die.

):

My life is a failur ,i feel lost,i think of suicide

this will be my exit song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6g4PouQeoc from 125 meters bridge , I will go there with my bike. First throw my bike then jum after it. I will wear my leather jacket i love so much. And also will listen music on my player during the fall. Last song will be from a favorite movie cool hand luke http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GHf7TD4qwjk. The reason is that im disappointed with myself I have dreams but I don’t move my finger to reach them, I hate that IM SO LAZY, used to go to fitness , read many books etc… Now I don’t even like to go out with my friends, soon they will leave […]

i hav selected a couple of methods one is the hellium hood method wich seems to be painless and sucsessfull and 2 is the bullet in the mouth do the best 2 aim for the brain stem so its just a matter of wich is easiest to carry out i own guns so that is a ready method but theres a party shop not far from were i live and they rent hellium tanks for a good price not that i care how much it costs i wont be needing money were im going i hope to sucssed in killing my self within the week  […]