General

Even full of t3s, citalopram, and weed I still sleep only a couple hrs a night
and its usually not until the sun is up…

I lost my job last week and have hardy eaten..
I’ve just kept myself numb ever since..
I’ve had so much shitty luck lately!!

I think about ending it with all of the above while drunk
With co posioning. I’ve done my homework.
If co levels rise above 60 death occures within minutes
only symtoms being nausea and headache..
Dizzyness and a few otthers..
However failier can cause brain damage…
I’m positive it would work tho..
As long as I’m not […]

lately i wanna die over everything. one little thing pisses me instantly i think I NEED THE GUN. so far most stupidest stuff besides abuse from my sister..god that pisses me off. but as lame as i have to all chores now cuz my sis got her way and now has to do nothing. if shes asked to do something i have to do it. she wont leave my room now its a mess that i have to clean.someone opens my bedroom door…I SCREAM! im losin my mind everything sets me off. i feel horrible, i didnt think i hurt my best friend that much […]

I hate living,waking up everyday,my job,people EVERYTHING!!!!! if it wasnt for my 9 year old daughter i would of killed myself a long time ago,I will wait till shes at least 18 then ill blow my brains out!!!

So my parents aredivorced and for the past 6-8+ months my dad hasn’t been oaying child support.So this past week my mom filed for a contemptive court order which means in 60 days they will go to a court hearing and either my dad starts paying child support or he will go to jail. I don’t want to see my dad anymore but I also don’t want my dad to be in jail. I’m not sure whether I’m hurt or what. I’m so confused and just numb to it

i found a box that i had put all my things that i had found important in my life. i don’t like looking back and seeing everything because it reminds me that none of that stuff is important anymore and i should not hold onto it because i have nothing to look forward to and i’m too afraid of looking back on all my painful memories… i can’t remember a time when i was extemely happy….

Well I’m struggiling to find motivation again, for anything.
I’ve missed two tafe days simply because I cannot be fuckEd going or doing anything I hate sitting infront of computers so I do not want to get involved with that industry.
I think I might ring and tell them I’m out and I’ll still get most of my money back, but we will see.

Hm you know the last boy I was talking about in my last post, well hes bullying me now, apparantly whenever my back is turned “everyone laughs” at me and teases me and that’s okay but I can’t be fucked with these […]

It’s wonderful to hear from the ones we love.  Truly inspirational.  It makes me proud to know that you’re okay.  I know you feel alone at times, but you are always thought of.  I won’t risk getting you into more drama.  People are capable of far worse than I give them credit for.  It’s okay, they have less than three years to “set you straight” and get you on the path to righteousness:)  I am doing great and I will divulge more in time.  I am planning on publishing a blog on Nolen’s facebook and website that will explain my current thoughts.  It will be […]

How can you feel wrong, when you are trying to feel right?

I really recommend you watch the movie Bang Bang You’re Dead. It is about a high school student who is bullied so much that he threatens to bomb the school, and sets up a real (but non-working) bomb in his school. Among other things, it is a movie that addresses bullying, suicide, depression, and it really helped me a lot.

Here is the 1st link to the movie on youtube, you have to watch it in 9 parts /:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDkNIPI3YaY

My therapist finally thinks i need to confront my fasther for the past. Jump?

hello 1st post im in pain severe pain that will never get better only worse iwant to die desperately want away from this pain . how many on here the same. been in mental pain on and off for years but would have it all back at its worst to swop for this physical pain. like to chat on these sites

No friends….

Almost impossible love connection…

No inspiration to write…

Family can do without me…

Ignored…

So whats the point?

Technically these can all be attributed to J.K Rowling, but I was surprised to see so many meaningful quotes coming from just Dumbledore, so he got his own list. I thought these would be interesting to read.

“Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike.”

“Do not pity the dead Harry.  Pity the living, and, above all, those who live without love.”

“It is important to fight and fight again, and keep fighting, for only then can evil be kept at bay though never quite eradicated.”

“Ah,music, a magic beyond all we do here!”

“People find it far easier to forgive others for being wrong than being […]

Finally, i am not unpredictable. I am stable because of my meds. I take 15 mg or g of abilify for bipolar disorder( i dont remember what the dose is its either mg or g). I dont feel like i could explode at any moment in time. This is all kind of new to me.. being stable. I have for my whole life been used to being unstable and psychotic. I almost think that the meds are working almost too well because i dont really feel anything anymore. I dont feel happy or sad or anything. what do you guys think i should do.. enjoy […]

Guys,

Checking back in to say – to my utter astonishment – that meds have turned my depression around. For the first time in years, I feel “normal” – or at least what was normal for me when I was 30. A decade of trying assorted meds with minimal effect had sapped me of hope that my depression could actually be medicated.

It’s my birthday today, usually a time of depression and self loathing. Except this year it’s fun and heart warming and  happy.

I was told by many people that “it’s a matter of finding the right meds” but I was never sure that a pill could […]

Recently, I went for a visit to my psychiatrist and after I had plans to go visit my xgf afterwords. You will never guess what happened…

He decided he does not want to play “russian roulette” with my life… I concur, I would like to try and win that game. Anyways, so he asks me how I would feel about staying at the hospital for a bit… I said I would rather not. He then said he was going to take me for a walk around and show me the place (mental health ward). So he shows me around, and next thing I know I am […]