General

A noose tide tight
In a room with no light
I wear my suit of dress blues
Already shined my shoes
Its who I am, it’s how I lived
It’s how I’ll die, and I really am
My mind is so faded I cant tell time
This is the end of the line
Take a step off the bed
Or fill my self with lead
It doesn’t make a difference
as long as I’m dead
Unless someone has a reason why

Oliver, Barnabas,Isabelle,Charlotte,Matthew,Music.
the guilt if hurting my mum. the guilt of hurting everyone. (i did get past that at one point but its back again)
my promise.
my progress.
things i cant put into words, but theres just this pull inside me, to not die.

i will make it through today.i will not cut.i will not OD, i will live. i WILL. if i have to spend the whole day plotting revenge so i can stay alive i will. this day will have a point. this day will not be spent in a haze of numbness. flip if only you could buy a good life […]

I just took over 100 prescription pills. Yay for me… I don’t know if I’m scared or happy. I never thought I would do it, that’s for sure. I was really scared and was going to call someone but I didn’t want to be an attention seeker. Now you say, that’s not attention seeking. But really think about it. I have some pills infront of me and I go whining to someone to tell me not to do it. It just looks like I’ve put them infront of me to, well, seek attention. Iv’e thrown up twice. I took them about 5 minutes ago. I hope this works, […]

Everyone has a fear. Whether it’s spiders, the dark, loneliness or something else, everyone is the same. I’m different though. Yes I have these small fears, but my greatest fears are ones that no one seem to understand, humans and myself. The human fear is quite simple really. Just like having a bad experience with something worth fearing, a large number of humans that I know (including my so called “loved ones”) have all done stuff to make me feel like I can’t trust them and some have even pushed as far as to make me fear all humanity. Sure I go out with people […]

My guilt is running away. My guilt is that I am too late to apologize for my actions.

I’m just too afraid to stand on my own; to stand up towards my fears.

I know that I am a coward.

This time the new surrounds me.

Closing in

Wanting to run

Wanting to fight

Wanting to not cry again.

I pinch myself to wake up

I pinch myself to come out

I even counted

But when I opened my eyes

All I could see are there faces around again.

Calling by my first name

Calling me by my nickname

If mother found out

She would have asked so many questions

And I wouldn’t reply.

I’ll just sit there like a dumb ass again.

Fearing for another history repeat

BTW was sleepying on the bathroom floor.

Just closed my eyes for a bit

and then I was sitting on top of a tree.

Cradeling myself

Remembering the places I used to have gone with certain people.

Climbed down […]

will someone please just talk me into killing myself? tell me it’s the right this to do, tell me that since ive been doing it forever it’ll be a great solution.

So I’ve been sitting here at work talking to one of the nurses which is my inspiration with all this. She’s the one who has referred me to the hospital an hour away. (Her son went there) She got a med book out and started looking up warnings and precautions to medications. To tell a little more about myself… when I was a yr and half old I had a high fever which caused a scar tissue on my brain which in return caused me to have really bad seizures. In 2006 I had brain surgery to remove the scar tissue… which I have not […]

Long time reader, first time posting. I’ve been contemplating suicide for years now. Probably around the age of 7, I had tried to choke myself to death via a dress string in the bathroom of a relatives. I’m 18 now. For about 13 years my mother has verbally abused me. I was never able to handle the stress of being yelled at for my wrong doings, and would break down crying as I still do now. My mother insults the way that I look and dress, witch is normal, I’m 5’6 and weight 150 pounds. I’m actually quite attractive, in my own opinion and dress and act […]

I’m going to kill myself. I’m going to take 34 Prazosin pills that are 25 mg each. So that equals about 850 mg and 10 shots of rum… i hope that’ll do it… I’ll just PTFO then never wake up :/ and i will add a few hydroxyzine

i wish i had anything on hand to off myself right now i just cant take it anymore. sadly i dont:/